Home Forums The WetCanvas! Galleria Structured Critiques “The Kitten’s Shed” – Ink Illustration

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  • #1499225
    Ari October
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        The illustration:

        The reference photo (credit: myself)

        About the illustration:

        I did this piece for Inktober, so it was a bit rushed compared to if I wasn’t on a deadline! The prompt was from the Jeltober prompt list and it was “shed”. I chose to illustrate this particular shed in our backyard because it is where we raised a litter of kittens through the spring-early summer of 2018. It is a very sentimental place for me.

        I chose this piece for critique because I’m proud of it and I put a lot of work into it. I really tested my observational skills while drawing this, I spent a lot of time on the pencil undersketch trying to get the proportions right.

        I’m satisfied with my work but I am only an intermediate artist so I could easily overlook issues that would be obvious to someone with more experience! I would love to know how I could improve upon a piece like this in the future. I am posting in this part of the forum because I am specifically looking for feedback!

        My goal right now is to learn how to view my own work critically, so your feedback will help me along. Please don’t hold back!

        Without "bad" art, there would be no "good" art! Mistakes are valuable opportunities for learning.

        #1499268

        An excellent drawing, I particularly like your treatment of the trees.

        Doug


        We must leave our mark on this world

        #1499459
        MarkSzy
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            Hi Ari October!

            This is a really nice piece. Looks like you placed a LOT of work trying to get things right in the drawing. I love working in pen and ink and just don’t have the time to hit it like I used to.

            What you’ve done well…

            You’ve interpreted the perspective pretty well. There are some things which are off, but not so much as to really call attention to themselves.

            You’ve shown this shed has seem some better days and hasn’t had any attention in a while. I can feel the shed has begun to weather, but is still intact. Good. That is a fine job to get that across to the viewer. You’ve placed some shadow work in this piece, and while I think you could enhance the shadows a bit, I still can sense the direction of the light.

            Some areas I see you could improve…

            • This is a picture about the Kitten shed. Not the photograph you took. Eliminate what doesn’t need to be there. Does the eave jutting out from the upper left contribute to talking about the kitten shed? No? Then lose it and continue the trees towards the top of the drawing.
            • Everything has the same sorts of line thickness. With a pen you can vary how much pressure you’re placing and thus adjust the line thickness. Varying the line strength (how heavy or how delicate the line is placed on the paper) can say a LOT about the material you’re drawing and whether the line is a cast shadow, value change, importance, in the light or in the shade, describes an edge and much much more. Just like a painter can use a lost edge to give variety to a painting, pen and ink artists use the strength of the line to add variety to their drawing. Is the edge important to describe a shape? Have a harder thicker line. Is it not important or is the edge in the light? Lighten the line by having less pressure on the pen.
            • Some areas you seemed to place “icons” for what is actually there. Specifically the trees in the background. Massing those shapes would be more appropriate. A few details here and there in the trees will describe ALL of the tree shapes back there.
            • Another area you’ve placed icons, is the hinges on the doors of the sheds. Look at the photo again. Do you really see where the screws are holding the hinge against the door? Is that an important detail? Not really. The hinges on the right side of the door especially are barely there. Look at the shadows on the hinges. Those shadows are what describe the shape of the whole hinge, yet you’ve drawn the top edge of the hinge even though they’re barely observed. The top edge of the hinge should be the smallest and lightest of lines or the top edge of the hinge (which is reflecting the light) could be omitted. I have pointed out where the shadows are and placed a quick study of the shadow shape on below the photo.
            • Lots of detail in the trees, it distracts from the detail in the shed. Mass the shapes of the trees as much as possible. Just give enough information to say, “yeah, there are pine trees back there.”
            • All of the crossing lines in the foreground really aren’t doing much to help move the eye around your drawing.
            • If it is important to you, the perspective in the lines in the roof are off a bit. Those lines as the roof recedes away from you would be farther apart on the portion of the roof closest to the viewer, and the lines would be closer together as the roof gets farther away from you. (Hopefully, that description makes sense). The side door lines verticals are a bit wonky.

            Having the roof lighter so it will tell against those dark trees would be helpful.

            Often it is a bit of a surprise to some folks when they are made aware the the individual line is a thing of consequence. The sweep and thickness of each line should contribute to the design of your work. The Variety of line, not merely variety of size and direction, but since each line ought to exhibit a feeling for the particular texture which it is contributing to express, variety of character. For example, you can place very delicate gray lines against a series of heavy black strokes. Many of the roof lines are of the same quality. They have nothing to play against. The next area of good technique is the Economy and Directness of Method. By this I mean a tone should not be built up of a lot of meaningless strokes. Each line ought  to contribute to the ultimate result. At times a cross-hatch is very desirable and very effective, – as for example in affording a subdued background or obtaining deep,, quiet shadows.

            Not all the edges need to be outlined. Often, you can “imply” a line by bringing a series of lines from your shadows and stopping them abruptly.  Below is and example where I re-worked your drawing a bit. Notice where the big tree is jutting up from the roof… the line of the roof stops, but the darkness of the tree imply the line is still going. I implied the roof panels by just showing the shadows at the peak and let the other areas merge into one another. Your eye continues the line. 

            There is a lot of good things happening in your drawing and I only had a little bit of time to work on it. If there had been sunlight to give some more powerful shadows, I think it would be easier to play within the piece, but the work stands well on its own.

            Great job! :good: :yahoo:

            Keep up the good work!

            Mark

            Painting was easy until I learned how.

            #1499487
            Ari October
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                Mark, that is such an awesome in-depth critique! I really appreciate the time you took to examine my work and to write all that out!!! Very valuable insight, I am so appreciative that you shared that with me.

                I love knowing all the faults I missed and never would have realized without someone else’s eyes! I mean that sincerely, when I like my own work it’s actually harder to figure out how to improve from there, which feels like a roadblock.

                Some of the things you pointed out I was aware of, but you helped me realize exactly what the issues were and how to fix them!

                That issue with the back of the roof… So embarrassing! Yeah that was purely a mistake and unfortunately it happened while inking. I got so mad when it happened haha! But I knew I had to just keep moving forward, a wonky drawing beats none, especially during Inktober.

                That is exactly what I posted here for, thank you so much! (Now I want to try drawing this same reference again with this insight… Wouldn’t that be interesting?)

                And thank you for the kind words as well, Doug!

                Without "bad" art, there would be no "good" art! Mistakes are valuable opportunities for learning.

                #1499516
                MarkSzy
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                    I think it would be a wonderful exercise to redraw this work. There are so many opportunities to rethink this piece, and it would be a great exercise in reimagining it with different treatments.

                    I can suggest a book, which I own, but also found a PDF online at archive.org, “Pen drawing; an illustrated treatise, by Charles D. Maginnis”

                    It is helpful to understand the different ways you can approach this subject. What he says is important, but just is important are the curated images. In this book you can observe a whole range of treatments for buildings, people, trees, landscapes and more. Moreover, understanding the fundamentals of the way to use the pen work and line types could give you more options, more tools in the toolbox.

                    Just a suggestion. Most of art is knowledge of the medium, knowledge of the principles. The artist is the person who takes all that they know and selects how to treat the subject with their tools.  Remember, you are a poet and not an accountant of what you see before you. With your pen you will describe for your viewer what the scene is about and how you felt about it. What you leave in, and what you leave out and how you treat the things you leave in depends on you. Nothing in your work is an accident. It doesn’t just appear on the paper… you put it there. If you were describing this scene to someone, how would you describe it? Do that, only on paper.

                    All the best!

                    Mark

                    Painting was easy until I learned how.

                    #1499777
                    Ari October
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                        Thank you for the book recommendation! I have been devouring art-related books lately, so this is perfect!

                        I think something I will do before I re-draw the shed is actually wait for a day/time with really good light and take a new reference photo.

                        This time around I think I’ll also work on a larger scale. I did all of my Inktober illustrations in my travel sketchbook, so this illustration literally fits into the palm of my hand! That definitely makes it harder to play with line weight and the like.

                        In the meantime I’ve been keeping what you’ve said in mind while I go about my regular sketching routines (mostly speedy urban sketches) and trying to see things in a more “poetic” light!!

                        Without "bad" art, there would be no "good" art! Mistakes are valuable opportunities for learning.

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