Summery Watercolor

[Patti]

Hi everyone! Long time...
I took a watercolor class a couple years ago
and recently decided to give it another try.
This is about 12X16 I think. I don't want to overwork it but am unsure if it is done. Suggestions?
Pat
Text

[This message has been edited by Patti (edited December 18, 2000).]

[Phyllis Franklin]

I like it Patti. The only thing I think I would change is to maybe fuzz out the tree in the background, especially the tree trunk. It appears to compete with the focal area. Other than that, I don't see a thing I would change.

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Phy...llis Franklin
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[This message has been edited by Phyllis Franklin (edited December 18, 2000).]

[jerryW]

This has a very good first impact;
after a few minutes, I find the violet colors in the center a bit isolated and I wish they also appeared in the tree bark and the shadows of the window louvres so as to promote a visual dance accross the whole painting.

[glowbug]

I think your original is excellent! I can imagine being there with the lilacs

[sassybird]

The softening of the tree trunk is all that I would change also. This is such a nice sight to see right now with all the snow on the ground and in the mountains around here where I am. Thanks for the reminder that spring will come again.

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sass

[Patti]

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. In order to soften the tree trunk should I just go in with water to try to soften or glaze over a good part of the background. I am very timid with watercolor,
it is so easy to cause permanent damage.
Sassybird, I know what you mean. I think that is why I started working on this. We keep getting hit with winter storms one on top of another. Just trying to keep a good thought here.
Pat

[This message has been edited by Patti (edited December 18, 2000).]

[kemshmi]

Hi Patty
nice job!!
you can just go over the trunk and only the trunk) with clean water on a brush..then blot with papertowel that should remove quite a bit of the brown color..then you might think to do one or two more washes of the greenery, just as you aready have in that area..right now it looks very fresh and crisp (a good quality)
Jerry made an excellent suggestion of splashing some of that violet in a few places..maybe a light bit of it on the window pane..just a few dobs
the other area in this painting that I would mention is the a compositional thing..where the cross-brace on the chair runs parallel with the back edge of the porch it kind of looks confusing..and would "read"' better if it were either above or below the porch line for the most part..
I dont see much way to change it in this piece..but somthing to think about in later compositions
over all you have done a lovely job!!..keep painting

I have not done much critiqueing for a while, and want to mention that..I hope I have not stepped on your artistic toes in the least..is only meant as ideas/guidance/instruction/input..

Kemshmi

[henrik]

Hi, I continued with Arlene's edits.

I thought that all the legs was fighting a bit too much for attention so I reduced the brightness on the furniture (the alternative would be to make the flowers brighter, but that did no look as good - the light hitting on the table would hit equally strong on the flowers causing almost burnout).
I also thought that the strong patterns on the shutters took too much focus; the black color, the hard edges and the repeting pattern. I blurred and brigtened them (perhaps a bit too much).
I thought the background could be even more blurred.
I increased the contrast in the flowers (i.e. more darks and more brights).
I adjusted the shadows on the table, there were some areas that I thought could not be in light.
I put some of the lilacs colors on the vase (purple and green). I put some blue in the shadow on the lilacs on the table and some green in the shadows falling on the table itself.
I also placed some of the lilacs colors on the wall (they show too much in the edits I made).
Although the changes are not dramtic, I think they place focus better on the flowers and the vase.


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[henrik]

Hm, I continued looking at the image and I went back to the original image. It found it very difficult to pop the lilacs without making them look pasted on. I finally came to the conclusion that all the visual "clutter" made up by the trees, the shutters and all the legs overpowered the flowers.
So, here is an alternative treatment where the image is cropped.



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[TeAnne]

I finally made it in here. That was worth waiting for. It's beautiful uncropped with a softened b/ground. Well done

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THE HIT LIST

Poets utter great and wise things which they do not themselves understand.
Plato (c. 427-347 B.C.), Greek philosopher.

[henrik]

Hm, maybe I should explain a bit better why I cropped the image. At first it seems like the trees (dark) and detailed is the thing to fix. However, whith that fix, the shutters steals the focus - they are also a duality, and there is nothing communicating with their dark color and pattern - the trees provided that. Also, when the tree is reduced all of the legs do not communicate with anything.

In the original, there is a very good composition dark trees, vase, shutters and there is counterpoint between trees and legs. I actually think I like the original better than the softened version.


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[glowbug]

there is a very good ryhthm in the original...the curving branches, the curve in the pillow, the curvy dark part of the lilacs..its musical..please don't remove the music

[SueFletcher]

Definately has a wonderful summer feeling! Agree with Phyllis that a little softening of the tree trunk in the back ground would add to dimention of painting.

[arlene]

I tried some changes.

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http://www.artdebut.com/arlene.htm

[Patti]

Well, thank you one and all. I really appreciate all the time everyone put into this and Kemshmi-you did not hurt my feeling at all. Thanks for the advice. Henrik! It is good to hear from you although it was I that had been away. I think I will put some of the colors from the lilacs elsewhere as suggested, maybe blur the trunk just a little
and add some shadow on the table, I had missed that. I am giving this to my mother-in-law as a Christmas present so thanks for helping me finish it up! (I hope she likes it- you know how you get that nagging self-doubt.)
Anyway, thanks again and best wishes for the holidays to everyone.
Pat