Gamelan Player

[henrik]

Hi, this is a piece that I am currently working on, and I need some help and advice. The painting is of a Balinese Gamelan player. The original contains more gamelan players in the background and some clutter. I removed all of that in my painting, but felt that something was missing, so I added the pillar.

Now, a question of composition - should I keep the pillar? Make it very subdued? Do you feel all that empty space is "disturbing"?

Any comment is helpful.

Here are the three versions (digitally modified).

[henrik]

Oh, I forgot to ask...
Would you be interested to see this thing evolve? Sort of a "misstep by misstep"

[irene clark]

Hi Henrik, Yes I for one would definitely like to see your progressions. What a good idea!! Also I prefer the 3rd picture above, but that's probably because you added some colour. I really like what you're doing. The black background really makes the subject stand out, almost like you're right beside him.
Keep on stroking.
Irene

[Drew Davis]

I don't find the empty space disturbing, exactly, but it does leave the poor man without any context.

I think the pillar is a useful compositional stop. The line of repeated, uh, gamelan bowl things, plus the mallet in his right hand, shoot the eye right off to the left. You've got to have something there to catch the viewer and bring them back.

Clearly, you want to focus on this one player and subdue the background, so I'd keep that instinct. Putting the two ideas together, I prefer the third picture. We've still got a stop, the fading of the pillar keeps it from leading us straight up out of the picture, and there's a hint of space to contain the player, subdued so as not to distract, but not completely black. I'd build on that trend by strengthening the light gradient on the main figure and along the gamelan (think of a classic chiarscuro still life), to further indicate a strong light washing left to right, bringing the eye back from the stop. Sort of a tension between the movement of the shape and the movement of the light, if that's not too artspeak-y to make sense. A couple of other subdued items in the background would complete the sense of space in the dark area.

I look forward to seeing what you do with this one.

[henrik]

Wow, you must have read my mind - what you describe is exactly the effect I am after. I got inspired to do this painting after watching chiarscuro paintings and interplay between the flow of the form and the flow of the light.

As you said, I think there is a bit more context and sence of space needed. The original things in the photo are to eye catching to be used as is, so I have to come up with something else.

I will post the result.

[Phyllis Rennie]

I think the pillar is important. Not to fill up empty space but to direct the viewers eye back to the center of interest--which is extremely interesting. Like this painting very much. Would really like to see it when you are finished.

[henrik]

Hi, now I have made some changes (digital) to the picture. As suggested I added some more context, there are now 3 gamelan players in the background (rough sketch). I moved the pillar slightly to the left, and should probably move the three new gamelan players somewhat to the left as well to leave some more space in front of the face of the main player.

I have added some of the lightning effect that I wanted, but I did not finish it. I have also hinted at the color choices. The main player's shirt is the most unfished part. In the painting there will be lots of sparkle to it to bring focus even further into the triangle made up of players face, and the two mallets. What I am trying to capture is the player mental state - the concentration on the gamelan 'pots' (ugnh - have to find out what they are called ).

Comments?

[robinsn]

I preferred the version with the full pillar until I got down to the version where you had the other 3 people in the background. This gives depth and context without distracting with the full pillar.

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-Randy

[henrik]

Hi,
here is yet one more digitally modified version of this painting. I think I am finished with the composition now, and I want to start painting. I have made changes to the group of background gamelan players to leave more room in front of the face of the main player. I have darkened the bowls and added highlights on the face and "hat". I darkened the mallets (they flared up in Starwars fashion when I darkened the bowls).

In the process of darkening the bowls the highlights got a bit misplaced; now it looks like the light comes from several directions, but I did not bother about fixing that (I won't paint it that way).

As you can see I have not yet done anything about the shirt, I think that will help a lot with the focus, but I am going to paint that instead of doing it on the computer.

I really need help with comments if there is anything else you think I should do with the composition/light.



[This message has been edited by henrik (edited January 16, 2000).]

[robinsn]

Personally, I liked the bowls brighter. It added something (what, I'm not sure) to the feel of the piece.

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-Randy

[henrik]

Hi Randy, thanks for your comment.
Well... I think I overdid the darkening of the bowls, they definitely lost shape in the process. Now I think there are also to few values in the shadows.

I should probably just have darkened bowl nbr 2 (counting from our left), and the rightmost part of the last bowl (to our right).


[This message has been edited by henrik (edited January 17, 2000).]

[henrik]

I got some feedback from Johannes pointing out that I should perhaps avoid the dualism in the arms of the player. Johannes suggested that I should bring one arm down on the 'bowls'. So... I tried it.


I think this is what I was looking for. With the players righ arm down, the mallet doesn't point towards the pillar (and of canvas). Things are more connected now as well. I think it is a big improvement. Thanks Johannes.
(I tried moving the other hadn too, but that did not have as much effect).

So what do the rest of you think?

[henrik]

Ooops! Anatomy got a bit screwed up. The edit shortened the arm. I think it should hit on the bowl one step to our left from where I now positioned the mallet.

[Julia]

The empty space is really disturbing. Try to do something about it. Even it is's night, there may be more colors in it. Now the emptyness seems black and frightening.

[bruin70]

henrik.....at the start, you had a linear perspective in your composition(the line of musical istruments) but no corresponding perspective for it to work with. so it was trying to show depth but looked flat. you need to support the diagonal with background...a wall, windows, your pillar works but needs better placement or additional pillars.
you're starting to lose you musician and the instruments are lost. i think it would have been better for you to develop the painting all at once.
that you posted the image in progress without addressing the unpainted areas, tells me you had no clear idea as to where your compositional values would go. three values is all you need. dark, middle , and light. i would have done a thumbnail value placement sketch.
are you working in watercolors?. the residual effect of not developing the WHOLE painting is that you have a hard edged line around the figure that may be difficult to overcome...milt