Critique a composition, please?

Flopka · #1 10-21-2009, 05:08 PM

I'm interested in getting some feedback on this composition. Does the placement of the two figures work? Any other issues?

tbolt · #2 10-22-2009, 01:52 AM

i think the placement is great. i think the painting is really nice.the tree to the left i would make more definate and higher and the wave behind it less dark. thats so the tree would go in front of the wave behind it.Nice image!!

Keith2 · #3 10-24-2009, 04:16 AM

The child is further away from the centre line than the taller adult, so you could say that there is a kind of balance in the position of the two people, relative to their heights. But this does mean there's nothing very interesting in the centre of the picture, and to me it seems rather empty.

I must add that the painting itself has been done with skill, and there is a nice loose feel to the painting.

creativechrissy · #4 10-28-2009, 08:20 AM

Looks a little like they (mainly the adult figure) is walking on water. Maybe add some ripple lines around the legs to give it weight into the ground. I would highlight the child's face every so slightly as the right figure directs you too the child.

The blending style you have used has a nice effect.

Loxley · #5 10-31-2009, 09:42 PM

The people placement is great, looks like Mom saying don't you dare go out any further in the water. Great start, what else are you going to put in this painting for interest. The colors are good too. Lets see more as you go.
Sherry

maryinasia · #6 11-01-2009, 04:14 AM

The placement of the woman bothers me -- perhaps like a split frame in bowling -- I wish the two figures weren't on the same frame, basically. However, composition is not my strong point, which is why I'm looking at this topic anyway. Beautiful painting with beautiful colors.

Allison- · #7 12-13-2009, 07:41 PM

i really like this painting...very dream-like..without encroaching on the scene..i think it is quite sophisticated and well painted already.

Quiteastorm · #8 01-29-2010, 11:35 AM

Hello, the two figures in this work display a classic case of divided interest. "Compositiion in Art" by Henry Rankin Poore will provide a complete understanding of placement, etc. HTH

iCpurplebackwards · #9 02-05-2010, 06:32 PM

i kinda feel like it needs something in the top quasi-center to bring a triad in with the two figures. it doesnt need to be a person, just something with a similar size and value. do as de vinci! think triangles

Robotus · #10 02-06-2010, 07:27 PM

The only potential issue I see is that the bright floats lead my eye off the page to the right. I like that they are there, but there is nothing bringing me back to the image.

The greens in the far background strike me as needing to be deeper, but that might just be a question of style.

Graphite42 · #11 03-09-2010, 04:10 AM

The line going across the upper part of the image bothers me a bit.
At first I thought it was part of the tree.
Then I thought it was some sort of embankment or levee.
But then the left side looks like a wave.
Plus it divides the top half of the composition.

I covered it up to see what would happen.
Just my 2 cents.

Flopka · #12 03-13-2010, 07:30 PM

You know, I think you're quite right. I think removing that feature might be an improvement. Thanks!

calypsos15 · #13 03-15-2010, 12:45 AM

I'm a beginner and sometimes you need a beginner's point of view. I say keep it! But something I don't get is when I follow the buoy line to the left, it stops nowhere. nothing, like a bird, or a tree, or a ship, or a mountain, or hill...nothing. and i start to wonder. maybe i am wrong.

but really nice job!

Mad Scientist · #14 04-10-2010, 03:09 AM

I think this is a beautiful piece, I love the atmosphere.
You might consider moving the child and adult to the one third positions in accordance with the rule of thirds BUT this also works The increased separation between the adult and child tells the story of the child venturing out on his own to explore the world. An alternative would be to have the child facing into the composition and moving back toward the adult to show her his latest discovery. Facing into the composition tend to make the piece hold together better. but rules are made to be broken if there is a good reason.

Flopka · #15 02-12-2012, 10:11 AM

This topic is a couple years old but I wanted to thank everyone for their responses. I am actually going to address this picture again and came back to read the topic. Sometimes a couple years away from a project can help. I am planning to do a second draft of this as a vector illustration just to see if my dilemma around this composition can be solved!

I can see a couple of things that need to be toned down or taken away (the buoy line, the dark water band). But I would also like to address the "divided interest" issue (the two figures placement) without affecting the idea of the scene too much, which IS the separation of the boy from the mother. I could easily make this picture more compositionally direct by only featuring the boy, but I guess then the scene would just be about "discovery" when it's also about "letting go." It also seems important that the boy is not facing her.

A possible solution may be to make the mother a bit taller or place her a bit farther out in the water which might create a stronger diagonal line (getting rid of the buoy line which interferes).

The nice thing about vector illustration is that you can easily move elements around and resize them and experiment more easily. I don't usually come back to completed paintings like this, but I thought this one might be fun to experiment with without changing the original.

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