I'm so upset right now...

kiwicockatoo · #1 07-25-2002, 02:26 PM

Just had a bad experience....

We have this really huge, lovely old farmhouse across the street from us and one over. I've been wanting to paint it for a while, but was having a hard time finding the guts to ask the owner for permission.

Well, I ran into her at the store this morning and decided to ask her. I don't know her that well, but we do know who each other is, enough to say hi in passing. I told her I was an artist (the nerve of me!) and that I would like to paint a picture of her house. She got this really angry look on her face and just stared at me. So I started to explain I was just a beginner, I needed subjects to practice on, her house was so beautiful, and on and on. She just stares at me. Then finally says, well, I'll have to think about it. I'll discuss it with my husband and get back to you. She seemed really pissed off.

First of all, I don't want to paint her stupid house anymore. I feel like telling her to take her house and shove it.

Second, this happens to me a lot. Ever time I get up the guts to approach someone, for whatever reason, it backfires on me. I'm really shy so every time this happens to me I get really depressed and withdrawn. I don't even want to walk past her house now.

I had mentioned to a few people that I had meant to approach her, they told me she'd love the idea, probably buy the painting, want prints for her kids (it's kind of a historic landmark here, her family used to own all the land around here). Instead she's mad????

This is really discouraging for me too because I'm getting to the point where I have to start marketing my art and things like this really freak me out.

sorry, had to vent. I'm gonna shelve the art this afternoon and clean my stupid house, and try to act like a stupid housewife for once like I'm supposed to be doing.

Andrew · #2 07-25-2002, 02:35 PM

If you set up on her yard, yeah sure you do. But if you paint it from your lawn or from one of a friendlier neighbor, (who says you can) as thehouse is visible from the street. I have had both good luck and not so good luck when asking people to sit for my (my estimation is 50:50). Depends who you ask and I suppose how.

Frankly, I am surprised she acted that way. I have never had a problem with people letting draw building on thier farm sites. I get permission because I have to be on thier property. Seems like an odd response for a harmless request.

Andrew

busy91 · #3 07-25-2002, 02:39 PM

I think that was an odd reaction. Why would she really care? I wouldn't mind if I was in that type of location and someone wanted to paint my house, especially someone who I've seen around (not a stranger). You just never know how people are going to react. Don't take it to heart, and don't get angry. It takes a lot of different types of people to make this world go round, you just came across a surley one. Don't let her negativity discourage you, paint something else.

Now mind you...when you get famous, guess who'll be knocking on your door.

kiwicockatoo · #4 07-25-2002, 02:48 PM

Thanks busy.

Andrew, as I understand it, I do not need her permission. I asked her out of courtesy, and also because I'd need to take some photos from the street and I didn't want her wondering what I was doing. That's what I get for trying to be a nice person.

paintfool · #5 07-25-2002, 03:06 PM

Don't give this rude, unhappy woman another thought. It was decent of you to ask in the first place. I'm sorry you had this uncomfortable experience but the problem appears to be hers, not yours. Do not let something like this affect your creative spirit in a negative way. That would be handing your creative power over to a stranger. That would be silly wouldn't it?

Paint on!

Cheryl

stalksthedawn · #6 07-25-2002, 03:11 PM

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Don't let he attitude stop you from painting or approaching people. Most people are not ruse when approached.

Christie · #7 07-25-2002, 03:13 PM

What an odd reaction! Could she possibly have thought that you wanted to actually paint the structure itself?

busy91 · #8 07-25-2002, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Christie
What an odd reaction! Could she possibly have thought that you wanted to actually paint the structure itself?

I had thought of that myself. She might have misunderstood that you wanted to paint a PICTURE of the structure. Maybe she thought you wanted to do a mural.

Rose Queen · #9 07-25-2002, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Second, this happens to me a lot.

This is the operative sentence in your post that caught my eye, kiwi. I'm sorry you had this regrettable experience, because I would think most folks would be flattered to have their homes used as the subject of a painting, but if this happens to you "a lot," perhaps it's something in your approach that provokes the response.

Perhaps one of the woman's neighbors would be willing to ask her what it was about your request that made her react the way she did and report back to you. Then you might get some ideas for modifying your approach in the future. Even if it happens to you a lot, though, this particular situation may still have nothing whatever to do with you and everything to do with the woman herself.

kiwicockatoo · #10 07-25-2002, 04:19 PM

Thanks everyone. I'm pretty sure I made myself clear that I was painting a PICTURE of her house. We'll see what she comes back with.

I swear, I am a nut magnet - I have an invisible kick-me sign on my back. Once a sweet little old lady sat beside me on the bus. When it got to my stop, I stood up and said excuse me. She started screaming, "don't tell me to f*ck myself! Where do get off telling an old lady something like that missy?" She screamed at me all the way off the bus, I was so embarassed, even though I did absolutely nothing wrong. This kind of thing happens to me a lot. I've even been spit on on the street for no reason. Thank god I don't work downtown anymore.

There is something wrong with my demeanor, I can't figure out what it is, but most people react to me negatively. I think I'm just so shy and expect rejection, and I get what I ask for.

Anyway, I did get my house cleaned up, and now I'm heading for a nice cuppa joe. I'm feeling better now.

NorahT · #11 07-25-2002, 04:41 PM

I just took a peek at your website - you do beautiful work - she does not know what she is missing

Some people react defensively when taken by surprise - hopefully she will think it over and respond more positively.

Wingnut · #12 07-25-2002, 04:58 PM

Hey (((Kiwi)))!

I'm sorry people are so rude (and don't I know it!)

I don't know why it seems sometimes like everyone is out to get you - but I do wonder in this case about when you said "I had mentioned to a few people that I had meant to approach her, they told me she'd love the idea, probably buy the painting, want prints for her kids " I had this problem with a horse I thought was pretty and wanted to paint. I had taken a few photos of the horse (in a public stable) and had mentioned to a few another people I knew that I was hoping to meet the owner soon to ask if was okay with her. Next thing I know the horse owner was waiting for me and upset because someone told her I was painting her horse so I could charge her big bucks for the painting!!!

I had never said anything about selling the painting to anyone! Anyway, to make a long story short - I never did paint the horse, I never figured out who said that to her, and I never tell anyone ANYTHING until I've talked with the horse owner personally (or I just paint the horse and don't tell anyone) because it just gets me in trouble. I did keep the photos

Quote:

I'm gonna shelve the art this afternoon and clean my stupid house, and try to act like a stupid housewife for once like I'm supposed to be doing.

ROFL! Now you sound like me! If hubby walks in and the house is actually clean, the first thing out of his mouth is "bad day honey?"

kiwicockatoo · #13 07-25-2002, 05:26 PM

Thanks Norah

Thanks Wingnut. There is no way this would have gotten back to her. The people I bounced this off of were my relatives, who know her, but not personally, and I know they would never have a chance to talk to her (my husband's family has roots in this area). I do know where you are coming from - because something like what happened to you with the horse has happened to me to. Frustrating, isn't it? And try to get them to believe you in the end!

Some people just aren't worth the mental energy to worry about.

Studio224 · #14 07-25-2002, 05:32 PM

Or maybe she is a spy... and she is afraid you will reveal her secret hiding place....

Christie · #15 07-25-2002, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Studio224
Or maybe she is a spy... and she is afraid you will reveal her secret hiding place....

I think she is a frustrated artist who has not been able to paint her own picture of the house. Probably thousands of ruined attempts hidden in her basement....

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