Melissa in graphite ... dj, anyone, help?

[Watchful]

<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/11-Jun-2001/mel06a.jpg" border=0>
The eyes of this little gal have given me fits. I finally feel I have them "close" to right, but they still aren't there. Close up of just the eyes from my reference shot is below.
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Portrait is 7x7&frac12;, graphite on bristol.

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Cilla
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[websites temporarily down due to equipment failure }
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"I write because I cannot paint."

[Verdaccio]

I would address several things. The first would be the shape of the eyes in your drawing in comparision to the picture. Your's are more almond shaped - if you look, you will see that the vault of the top lid is closer to the nose and is not dead center. Also, don't forget that the eye has the tear duct in the corner called the Puncta Macularis - the bottom lid will curve upward to meet the puncta again closest to the nose.

Second, look at the range of values that the photo expresses and then compare it to your drawing. The photo has a much wider range of values than I see in your drawing - it may just be the shot, but take a look at how dark the lashes are towards the outside of the eye. Watch where you place the highlights in the eye as well - the eye often has a spot highlight which is either more to the left or to the right and most often in the upper portion of the eye. The thing about that spot highlight is that if the spot is on the right, then the iris on the left will appear more illuminated - i.e., when you add a spot highlight, your iris on the opposite side of the eye will be lighter.

And finally, watch the hardness of your edges on the entire composition. The photo looks very diffused - if you sharpen the image that is ok, but remember that more distant edges will not be as sharp and round edges like cheeks will not be sharp so diffuse them some and you will get a more realistic effect.

It is a great start and I hope this helped!

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Michael Georges
www.fineportraitsinoil.com

[campsart]

I want to say that I like your rendition but I must agree with Michael on his points. I commented on your pic in the drawing forum but I didn't have the photo to go by. I hope you don't mind the slight changes I made. I'm not sure I should have even messed with it but they were the few things that kind of stood out to me as maybe needing slight adjustments. This is still a great start!!
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"Art is a jealous mistress and if a man has a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1888), American essayist, critic, and philosopher.

[Watchful]

Thank you both for your helpful comments.

Michael, I definitely see what you are saying. Now if my pencil would only translate it to paper!

Campsart, I don't mind digital alterations. It is still very early in the "eye-training" process for me and that helps. I started drawing in January after 30+ years where I did no drawing at all.

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Cilla
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[websites temporarily down due to equipment failure }
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"I write because I cannot paint."

[campsart]

Wow! 30+ years! Stay on the path girl. You're traveling in the right direction!

David www.home.earthlink.net/~campsart

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"Art is a jealous mistress and if a man has a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1888), American essayist, critic, and philosopher.

[This message has been edited by campsart (edited June 13, 2001).]

[Julia]

I recommend you not to do the contour drawing of the eyes. Try to work with values, rather than lines. Any line may be to hard when depicting an eye. It is not good to underline the lower lid, as the face gets a menacing look and try also to avoid depicting eyelashes too dark, just define them a little bit.
Julia

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Julia

[djstar]

I hope you didn't mean me!!!??
I hate giving advice, so I will tell you how I do things and see if any of it helps.
Since all you included were the eyes, I agree that I feel your drawing is too harsh because of the outline.
I kept thinking how to alter the picture and show you what I would do but my whole technique (if I have one and I have not attempted a graphite realistic rendering in years...) is laying in value shapes.
I see her eyes as three or four shades of gray and only the pupils and upper lids are really dark. By making the lower lid line equal it looks a bit like make up.
Your style is a delicate line shading, not really blended and actually showing a lot of precision as I tryed to mess with it, that I couldn't match.
I would suggest breaking up the edge and knocking the lower lid up in value in spots. Lots of it works just fine.
I never draw eyes. I lay in shapes of color and value so they turn into eyes. I get really stuck when I think of what they are.
Keep your eye moving all over the source as you draw and always keep comparing shades of gray and how they relate to other parts of the picture and each other as you move and you may have more of a feel for how I would do it...
Now, hopefully you wanted that other dj...

dj*

[Watchful]

nope, you were the dj I had in mind. Thanks, dj and julia for the helpful comments. Frequently I can see what is wrong, I just can't figure out what to do to change it or prevent it. BUT ... I'm learning, especially by hanging on to these comments for the next and the next and the next ad infinitum.

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Cilla
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[websites temporarily down due to equipment failure }
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"I write because I cannot paint."

[Pen]

Originally posted by Watchful:
[BThe eyes of this little gal have given me fits[/b]

Either the eyes are too long, or they are too close together. Notice in the photo that the space between the eyes is equal to the length of an eye. In your drawing, the space between the eyes is less than the length of an eye. It's hard to tell without seeing the entire photo, but it seems to me that the eyes are just too big for the face.

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Pen

[This message has been edited by Pen (edited June 14, 2001).]

[kimik]

I guess one trick that I use to more clearly see what I'm doing wrong is hold the work up to a mirror...scarey, because it really does show the faults of the piece...but I find it very helpful.