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Old 01-24-2005, 09:22 AM
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Esmeralinda Esmeralinda is offline
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Commissioned painting-need help

MY IMAGE(S):





GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Commissioned painting-need help
Year Created: 2005
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 18X24
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Here I go again, Thanks Tam for your help and also for your nice comments ref: (MEET ME).

I was commissioned this painting (ref: picture).
Parents who wish to give as a present to their daughter and husband to be. Picture was taken (listen to this) in the Bay of Ha Ha (St-Louis du Ha Ha) in Québec. Funny name, isn't it ? Not far from the New-Brunswick border if my memory is right.

All done with knives but not as apparent in the background. Anyway I know I still have to work on it but feel a little uninspired. Can you help ?


MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
On value, colour. I think I should put more variety of greens in the foreground. I know I have to work on the young man and also maybe add lights one the fence.

Do not tell anybody, but it isn't my favourite thing to do but I want to do it well.

Thanks in advance for your time and critiques

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Old 01-24-2005, 10:48 AM
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

You've done a great job so far but I feel if the figures are an important part of this that they need to be larger as in the reference pic. Keep up the good work!
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Old 01-24-2005, 10:50 AM
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Spyderbabe Spyderbabe is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Your people are much smaller than they are in the photo (in photo lady's head goes as high as background mountians). But you've been consistent - they look ok but the overall effect is that the people are of less importance than the scenery in the painting. And you've left yourself lots of foreground. Right now the foreground shadows look like a mixture of green with blue and maybe white? - a bit chalky. Put some warm tones in the foregound - ochre, sienna etc
I think it's a lovely scene and your clients will be happy with the painting.
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Old 01-24-2005, 11:00 AM
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LisaArt LisaArt is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Hi Linda,
Looking very good. For not a favourite you did amazingly well.
Perspective IMO bang on!
Sky is excellent, mountains, water etc.
Tree over viewers right super. dont touch that
i also like the bit of different colours under the tree. a good touch better and much more dynamic then in the reference photo

Basically the foreground, as Kathleen mentioned (needs that linda style and touch) and I agree the people a little small...Mainly women over by the fence.
I think the dude on the bench is very good.
They will be thrilled..
anxious to see the end result...
Ciao
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Old 01-24-2005, 03:26 PM
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Gilberte Gilberte is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Wondering if the young little shouldn't be depicted a bit taller ?
Funny how I see things differently on someone else's paintings but on mine ..... c'est une autre paire de manches
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Old 01-24-2005, 03:29 PM
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Frida200 Frida200 is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Linda,

commissioned paintings...
are quite something. WRGLMPFH.
But hey, this one looks pretty good! I agree about the uninspired... why don't you just throw in some reds (fence, hair) and yellows (grass) to give it a bit more life? The background is great as is, very very much so. Size of the figures...sigh, that is a lot of work to change, non? I would try the colors first.


Good luck,
Claudia
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Old 01-24-2005, 08:25 PM
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Esmeralinda Esmeralinda is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

You all agree that the figures are too small and you are right. So I will make them bigger. Claudia, I was tempted but gee, I feel I have to.

BTW, Claudia what does WRGLMPFH mean. I am eager to know.

Is it: (We Really Giggle Linda, May Peace Forever Help) ....... or maybe
(What Reasonning Got Linda Mention Place Fabricated Hilariously)

And those ochres and siennas and reds will be added.

I'll post if I think it is worth it.

You guys are great help and gave me enthousiasm and energy to continue.
Thank you again for all the great encouragement.

Merci merci merci.
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Old 01-24-2005, 08:34 PM
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brushstroked brushstroked is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

There's nothing I can add to what's already been said. I'm positive that the parents and the couple will be thrilled. It's a beautiful painting!

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Old 01-24-2005, 11:43 PM
BoSt BoSt is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

You have definitely made the female figure smaller than the reference photo. This makes her appear farther away and almost aloof from the male. In the photo he is looking at her but you have not brought this across. This is more a study in alienation than a portrait of two people who are engaged to be married.
The foreground also needs more eye candy.
Think of it this way: two people together in a landscape that, however beautiful, does not need to exist at all for them. Although her back is turned, she feels his presence and closeness. For him she is the centre of interest, the focal point in the scene. Between them a warm glow illuminates the space around them with emotion and it seems like she is giving out a light that illuminates only his figure. (they will be tied together visually by this 'artificial' light source)
Your painting is well done (and may accurately convey the facts of the relationship) but the commission is for a scene that will live with them in their union, and should convey a closeness that is missing here.
I'm sorry if I'm at odds with the others, but I felt that it would not be worth my while posting if I did not try to help you make this work better.
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Old 01-25-2005, 08:00 AM
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Esmeralinda Esmeralinda is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Thank you Brushstroke; always appreciate your comments.

Quote:
a scene that will live with them in their union, and should convey a closeness that is missing here.


You're absolutely right ! Thanks. Gave me much more inspiration.
But they also asked that the scenery be a memory surrounding the two.

Quote:
I'm sorry if I'm at odds with the others, but I felt that it would not be worth my while posting if I did not try to help you make this work better.

Don't be sorry. I post for critiques and help and that is exactly what you did.
The others also mentionned the figures and foreground. Thanks a lot !

Linda
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Old 01-25-2005, 08:52 AM
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Frida200 Frida200 is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esmeralinda
BTW, Claudia what does WRGLMPFH mean. I am eager to know.

LOL, that's just what comes to my mind when I think of commissioned paintings...
I am happy you will make the figures bigger. Let us see the final result, allright?

C.
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Old 01-25-2005, 08:33 PM
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Esmeralinda Esmeralinda is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Claudia, you're so cute.

I will post it to check with you. I've started already and much done but too wet right now for the finishing touches. Those bigger figures do make it look much better.

Linda
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Old 01-25-2005, 10:57 PM
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Tamana Tamana is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

Oh Linda, I hope you post the revision. You're so good with the human form I always enjoy seeing how you depict it. This is such a lovely thing to do and something they will cherish always.
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Old 01-26-2005, 12:04 AM
dcorc dcorc is offline
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

looking forward to seeing the revision here Linda - people picking up on the same points - it will work well with the larger figure, I'm sure.

...and welcome to BoSt - excellent constructive critique!

Dave
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Old 01-26-2005, 05:12 AM
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Re: Commissioned painting-need help

after a quick glance
at the photo I am left with an amazing impression of a dark horizontal fence (moving boldly to the right edge and splashing back as a tree overhanging) binding sea-sky to land and a semi-reclined figure enjoying the scene which surely includes a woman with two strong white verticals (legs) holding everything together.

the painting is more of a landscape more about water and air and land and almost no fence - the figures seem less integral too.
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