The Old Bay = please move to structured critique

[Edradour]

MY IMAGE(S):



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: The Old Bay
Year Created:
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Board
Dimension: 20 x 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I've just moved into new studio space with a local environmental charity

This is the first piece I've made to reflect the work of the charity - in this case, a small garden space that is used to grow produce, demonstrating what can be done with very limited resources.

Since making the piece, I learnt that the tree may have to be removed - so the work forms a useful document of what was.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Any suggestions of what I could have done better, or differently are welcome

[La_]

gotta say, i like it a lot
but, do You see the creepy robot/alien ?
he's quite prominent, and looking at us
and i wonder if he was intentional

la

[Andrewcody]

I do see him La, and his pillbox head is looking straight at us as you say.
I think he is wearing a grass skirt so is probably a greenie
Sad to read that the tree is doomed Ed
Bay trees apart from being quite beautiful and useful they live about as long as a human being.
I like your painting a lot
Regards
Andrew

[Edradour]

Thanks La, Andrew

An alien? I suppose, given the charity's focus, a 'greenie' is appropriate.
No, she (he/it?) is not intentional, where is she?

[Edradour]

An hour later, and I do see him - and I think that's a him
I'll take a look at the original, and see if I need - or want - to do anything about him

[leisure artist]

this is very good...dont change a thing...christine

[Debzy]

I can see a headless robot with it's arms up and wearing a skirt at the doorway!!! And I can see the Alien with scales at the top.... This is really fascinating if you look closely, there is so much to see here! I really like it very much. Cheers =)) Debs!

[Edradour]

Thanks Christine, I wont, not in this one

Cheers Debs, lots to see here as you say
I think part of the fascination here is the simplicity of the pallette, and the way I made the marks

[Edradour]

Every message above this post was made while the thread was in the Open critique forum

While nice to have, I was hoping for more structured criticism
Thanks

[Round]

Hi Robert
I find this work intriguing with the use of a limited pallette. It gives the appearance of the tree and building being bathed in moonlight and creates an interesting mood.

The contrasting tonal values and brushwork in the foliage has mostly captured very well the shape and glossiness of bay leaves. I find the foliage towards the top right of the tree a bit confusing though. I think this is the part where some other reviewers have found 'faces'. It might be smaller branches with reduced foliage - hard to tell - perhaps a bit more work on this to clarify.

In the absence of other colours I'm also finding it hard to differentiate between the foliage of the bay and surrounding plants. Perhaps defining the bay's branches a little more could help this (or alternatively tonally softening the surrounding plants to create more depth).

Your brushmarks at the base of the trunk effectively allude to its age. However, higher up, the trunk appears starkly and evenly cylindrical and a bit incongruous with an aged tree - a little remodelling of the outline would give it a more 'organic' appearance.

Overall it's an interesting work. I wonder what it would be like with a wider pallette?

Cheers
Round

[Edradour]

Hello Round
Thanks for responding

Since reading the comments about faces, I've seen al sorts of weird things in this picture - I don't smoke, but ... I think it's the simplicity of the marks, which can seen several ways.

I'll have to think about how I'd modify the tonal values here, or extend the pallette while staying true to the process I used.

[Round]

Hi Robert
It's a very expressionistic work with how you have applied the paint and with your limited pallette. I can see the dilemma in working on it much more and losing the freshness of your brush strokes.

I wouldn't want my previous comments to push it into becoming a more 'true to life' work as it's appeal is very much in how you have approached the subject matter.

Cheers
Round

[Edradour]

Thanks Round,
Don't worry, this piece wont change now - I'm thinking how I apply your suggestions the next time