Just came across this list of quotes directed at the art world...
"This is either a forgery or a damn clever original."
"Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea."
"An amateur is someone who supports himself with outside jobs which enable him to paint. A professional is someone whose wife works to enable him to paint."
"When having my portrait painted I don't want justice, I want mercy."
"The art galleries of Paris contain the finest collection of frames I ever saw."
"I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter."
"Andy Warhol is the only genius I've ever known with an I.Q. of 60."
"Who among us has not gazed at a painting of Jackson Pollack's and thought: What a piece of crap?"
"A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso."
"Rembrandt painted 700 pictures. Of these, 3,000 are still in existence."
"Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."
"Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be."
"Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it."
"Painting is the art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."
"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course."
George Bernard Shaw.
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."