Horrible "artist" mentor badly affected my career

[Zenhorse]

d-archer, i totally understand your reason for not wanting to name this guy, or even confirm his initials. Sounds like things got pretty serious if you had to get a lawyer to tell him to back off.

I hope you can work through the damage and get your confidence back.

[timelady]

I love Marm's suggestion.

If you already do have a lawyer involved, I would ask them about the legality of publishing private communications without permission and the copyright you would naturally hold on the letters you wrote. Heck, why not? But only if you're not ready to move on... don't dredge up new action if it isn't productive.

I say do your work, burn the portrait, and realise this person clearly didn't "make it" in art well enough because he had to publish a book based on personal communications and a cruel attitude - rather than a positive book about how to succeed in art!

Along with the recommendations already given (Artist's Way is great, sounds like it would suit you!) I also recommend people like Alison Stanfield and Christine Kane - both of whom have awesome free blogs and newsletters. They'll revive your optimism!

[Diane Cutter]

Love Mame's suggestion... The next time I have issues that bug me I'm doing the 'photo in the closet' therapy.

You have had a very unfortunate experience. One of the problems of being an artist is that most often we work in isolation and, when the vibes are bad due to an experience like yours, we tend to dwell on them ad naseum. Also we feel extremely vulnerable to negative issues because being an artist is more than a job... it's who we are at the core.

The value of an art community like Wet Canvas is that we can vent and realize that (1) others have had a similar experience or (2) we all feel the injustice of yours. Thanks for bravely posting because you make the rest of us wiser should we encounter unscrupulous users out there, people who want to profit off artists because they lack originality of their own.

Stay strong and classy... In the long run (and after several toilet flushings) this will be an unpleasant memory, not a gut wrenching.

Diane

[Horsa]

Living well is the best revenge. Every time you sell a painting you prove him wrong about all the nasty things he said about you.

If this is effecting your life personally and emotionally, not just professionally, you might want to consider counseling. It could help you move on to a healthier place.

Remember, you are selling, so you CAN paint salable work!

[RobinZ]

I'm so sorry for your bad experience.

That said, it's a good cautionary tale not to rely on any ONE else to advise and mentor us. There are many art markets out there, and there is no one path that works for everyone.

[moebean]

Keep talking about it, the pain will dissipate over time.

I have had several awful interactions with teachers that unfortunately affected me greatly. One professor told me everyone was laughing behind my back because my paintings were so "silly"... I ended up changing majors to photography. When I was awarded most likely to succeed or some such silly award upon graduation, one of my professors came up to me and said I didn't deserve it. Another, while in high school, tormented me because I was taking college level courses in architecture and she was in my same class in that college course, and again I gave up and decided not to pursue. Of course I regret all these decisions I made but at that time I was insecure and obviously lacking greatly in self esteem. It's a constant battle when people can be so cruel.

[d-archer]

Thanks again to everyone who just posted. I have talked about this issue to family and good friends but they are not artists and may not understand as well as you do. Another thing this "mentor" did that affected me was to basically tell me that I am stupid to work in watercolor. I work in two mediums and he kept insisting that I should ditch the watercolor because he says that's not what serious art buyers want. I wish I hadn't listened to that. I am happy to say I'm back into watercolor and I enjoy it very much. My watercolors are selling too. I see nothing wrong with working with two mediums.

Ultimately, I realize that I am to blame for being overly trusting and naive over this whole situation. I hope other artists can learn from the information I am posting here and avoid similar situations. I do believe that there are some artists out there who do honestly wish to help others, but others, well, watch out.

[timelady]

Watercolour is a beautiful medium, and one of the hardest! So bravo to you! Serious art buyers buy things that they love and feel are excellent work - medium is irrelevent. Mainstream average buyers buy what is trendy and what mediums they are told as "good".

And you are NOT TO BLAME! Do not turn this around on yourself. You were trusting and honest, which are good traits. A victim is never to blame for the actions of someone cruel and selfish. You've even come here to share just to warn other artists, all good! If you blame yourself I think we may have to have a Wetcanvas international intervention.

Tina.

[artyczar]

timelady is right. The victim is NOT to blame. EVER. I have been the victim of horrible things myself and the hardest thing for me to do was not to take some responsibility because I thought that being a victim was that I was in a position of weakness. But overcoming it is your strength. That is where you are the victor. Sometimes we are at the adverse affect of cruelty and we have absolutely nothing - no accountability - to do with it. It was GOOD you were trusting. HE was the trickster. Do you see? Because he tricked you, now you are guarded and changed a GOOD aspect of your being.

Anyway, you should use any medium you want. In fact, experimentation and evolution is the greatest thing an artist can do. Collectors buy everything. The last 3 things I sold were a watercolor, and 2 pen and ink pieces, and I'm predominately and oil painter. I have to use all kinds of mediums because it makes me do different things, and an artist has to take risks, always. It's our job.

[chewie]

if you can't paint in a medium you like, why bother? get a desk job.

altho you are not to blame, do learn from it. there are plenty of ppl out there who are looking for a way to scam others, they have no soul. so hold that stuff to yourself a bit longer, til you are more than certain its ok to let it out. he's a sad sick little man, none of which is your fault. you just got caught in a web.

I like the burning plan, and really, if you are selling out, who cares what he says?? sounds like a revengeful man who wishes you were doing poorly without him and are not!

[d-archer]

Thank you so much for your kind words. You make sense. I think I felt blinded by this person because he was so manipulative, and so full of stories about how successful he and his wife were. Making me believe he was the Art Success God or something. (Whether or not they actually were as successful as he purported is another story. He may have been, shall we say, "stretching the truth.") It is interesting that whenever I questioned anything he did or said, he would turn. For instance, when I questioned him about the student grade paints he insisted I should use (to save money so I would make more profit per painting), he became very angry, saying that he "knows what works" and if I don't want to listen to him then I don't want to be successful. Now that I am smarter and more experienced, I realize that this behavior is a classic sign of insecurity and egotism. Maybe even some kind of psychological disorder. Who knows.

Like RobinZ posted earlier, it seems to me that there really is no set formula to success, in art or any other field of endeavor. What works for one person may not work for someone else. Just like an approach to painting that works for you may not work at all for me, even if you find it brings you great success.

[d-archer]

Just ordered the audiobook version of the Artist's Way from our local library. I'm determined that this year will be the year that I stop letting any negative influences affect my mind and art.

[truarts]

Sorry to hear about your experience. Keep on making art and becoming well versed in the mediums in which you work. I'm sure Albrecht Durer if he were alive today would whole heartly disagree with the statment with that watercolors arn't collectable. Im sure any serious art collector would jump at the chance to own one of his watercolors.

Never allow anyone to steal you joy to create! Keep pushing and moving forward.

On the flipside it would be interesting to turn the whole situation around on the man who claimed to be your mentor by writing a book or how to guide about how to steer clear of people who claim they can bring you success. You could use your correspondence with him as the basis of your research.

[Horsa]

For what it's worth, I too paint in watercolour and I do struggle with watching works in oils and acrylics outsell mine.

It may not be the most salable medium, but it is the one I respond to most powerfully. If my sole criterion for how to spend my days was "what makes the most money" being an artist probably would not even make the list.

I am still working to overcome years of "programming" that I am no good, can't do art, will never be good enough, etc. It is hard. Keep plugging away at it, and remember every success is proof that you can succeed.

It is truly unfortunate that so many in mentoring positions get caught up in feeding their own egos rather than helping their students grow.

[d-archer]

Truarts, Your suggestion about writing a book based on my experiences with a bad mentor is brilliant! That certainly would turn the tables. Horsa, I agree that an artist should work in the medium (or mediums) that feels like it fits the best. For example, if a person really loves to do sculpture but is brainwashed into believing that they should be doing oil painting instead because it's easier to find buyers, are they going to be happy? Or successful? I doubt it. There are some phenomenally successful sculptors out there.

I don't know why some people are so mean and try to steer others away from what they really want to do. I think a lot of it may have to do with jealousy. Maybe what you want to do is what they've always wanted to do but didn't have the skills, or something like that. Or maybe they feel threatened by the fact that you may become more successful than them. Either that or they just feel they know everything and want to force their opinions on to everyone else.