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Old 02-03-2020, 11:16 AM
leisure artist leisure artist is offline
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South Wales UK
 
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Away from the Crowds

MY IMAGE(S):







GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Away from the Crowds
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Board
Dimension: 16x12
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This painting is of a harbour at The Parrog Newport Pembrokeshire West WalesI hope I have captured the beauty and tranquility of the area

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Please could you critique the composition ie should the main boat be placed more centrally Also any other constructive comments are welcome I have uploaded 2 photos of the painting and the original reference photo
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Old 02-03-2020, 11:28 AM
oldnmartist oldnmartist is online now
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Re: Away from the Crowds

Good job of painting the objects in the painting, especially the near boat. Take out the boat on the right, midrange, and the house on the far left. They are not needed, and generally you do not want anything near the edges that is distracting.
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Old 02-03-2020, 01:18 PM
Daisymae7$ Daisymae7$ is offline
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Re: Away from the Crowds

I agree about losing the boat on the right. It pulls your eye out of the painting. I also think the main boat is too close to the bottom and makes it confusing as to where you want the center of interest--the homes of the boat. I think it is a lovely painting with feeling and some obvious skill. Its evident that you were really there! Great job.
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Old 02-03-2020, 09:32 PM
picassolite picassolite is offline
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Re: Away from the Crowds

Hi -

"I have captured the beauty and tranquility of the area."

Can we move it up a notch?

Looked over your paintings on WC and I find you would be considered a 'figurative' painter.'

And so I can understand your question regarding the composition of this new painting.

Taking into account the prior comments - I submit something else could be addressed.

Let's start with what your title suggests - Away from the crowd ... open space, a brief vacation from reality.

So I'm going to suggest - maybe ... it is not your composition that is the challenge of syncing your title to the painting.

It could be the realistic - figurative style that you are comfortable with - is stopping one from suspending reality.

This is not a reflection on you or your talent as a painter.

It's just that over time and many years ... I have come to realize that a mood can be portrayed with many styles of painting.

I'm suggesting two possible painting styles that are just the 'cat's meow' for the mood of open space ... that you want to convey ...

suggestion 1-



suggestion 2-



In this way ... your composition works just fine.

Best regards,
Picassolite

PS - I hope these suggestions give you pause...

Because from your prior work ... I believe - you could do this.
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Old 02-04-2020, 03:15 AM
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Shenko Shenko is offline
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Re: Away from the Crowds

I agree with the previous observation: The title says away from the crowds yet we do not see much of the empty space. It is crowded.

Another point is your horizon: The distant land or sea seams to be higher than shown on the photo.
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Old 02-04-2020, 11:41 AM
leisure artist leisure artist is offline
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Re: Away from the Crowds

Quote:
Originally Posted by picassolite
Hi -

"I have captured the beauty and tranquility of the area."

Can we move it up a notch?

Looked over your paintings on WC and I find you would be considered a 'figurative' painter.'

And so I can understand your question regarding the composition of this new painting.

Taking into account the prior comments - I submit something else could be addressed.

Let's start with what your title suggests - Away from the crowd ... open space, a brief vacation from reality.

So I'm going to suggest - maybe ... it is not your composition that is the challenge of syncing your title to the painting.

It could be the realistic - figurative style that you are comfortable with - is stopping one from suspending reality.

This is not a reflection on you or your talent as a painter.

It's just that over time and many years ... I have come to realize that a mood can be portrayed with many styles of painting.

I'm suggesting two possible painting styles that are just the 'cat's meow' for the mood of open space ... that you want to convey ...

suggestion 1-



suggestion 2-



In this way ... your composition works just fine.

Best regards,
Picassolite

PS - I hope these suggestions give you pause...

Because from your prior work ... I believe - you could do this.
Many thanks Picassolite for your time and very valuable critique I originally cropped the photo as I thought it was too much expanse of sand You have certainly given me food for thought and I may attempt this painting again as shown in suggestion 1 It would be a completely different painting Meanwhile I think I will have to change the title
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Old 02-04-2020, 11:45 AM
leisure artist leisure artist is offline
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Re: Away from the Crowds

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shenko
I agree with the previous observation: The title says away from the crowds yet we do not see much of the empty space. It is crowded.

Another point is your horizon: The distant land or sea seams to be higher than shown on the photo.
Thanks Shenko for your comments I am going to change the title
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Old 02-04-2020, 11:48 AM
leisure artist leisure artist is offline
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Re: Away from the Crowds

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldnmartist
Good job of painting the objects in the painting, especially the near boat. Take out the boat on the right, midrange, and the house on the far left. They are not needed, and generally you do not want anything near the edges that is distracting.
Thanks for your critique I am going to take out the boat on the right AI do think it will improve the composition
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Old 02-04-2020, 11:51 AM
leisure artist leisure artist is offline
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South Wales UK
 
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Re: Away from the Crowds

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisymae7$
I agree about losing the boat on the right. It pulls your eye out of the painting. I also think the main boat is too close to the bottom and makes it confusing as to where you want the center of interest--the homes of the boat. I think it is a lovely painting with feeling and some obvious skill. Its evident that you were really there! Great job.
Many thanks I agree that the main boat is too far to the edge At this stage it would be too difficult to correct Will make sure I don’t make the same mistake with my next painting
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Old 02-05-2020, 04:53 AM
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Shenko Shenko is offline
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Re: Away from the Crowds

I think, if you grey down the buildings, it will put the boat into focus. It will be a lovely painting.
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