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Old 09-09-2019, 03:12 PM
birdmcfarland birdmcfarland is offline
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Winter wren

GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Winter wren
Year Created: 2019
Medium: Watercolor
Surface: Paper, moulin du Roy
Dimension: 8x10
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I just finished this watercolor of a winter wren and am hoping you will give me helpful critique.

Iím not happy with the wing. I feel like I lost my way on the anatomy and ended up fiddling with it too much.

Thank you!

Melody
Lancaster, PA

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Iím interested in knowing...

if I was able to properly show this birdís rotund form

How I did with contrast and color

What improvements could me made to make this look better.
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Last edited by birdmcfarland : 09-09-2019 at 03:48 PM.
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Old 09-09-2019, 07:06 PM
DreyDay DreyDay is offline
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Re: Winter wren

I think it looks great. The simplicity and ambiguity of the background allows you to see the bird without too much judgment on where to place any more contrast or shadows. I like the emphasis on the bird's detail, and the less attention focused on its perch.
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Old 09-10-2019, 03:52 AM
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SilverSwallow SilverSwallow is offline
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Re: Winter wren

Its a pretty good illustration. Cant find much to fault about it to be honest.

Couple of things I would change, are adding some catch-lights to the eyes, as you want that to be the focal point.

Bump up your shadows a bit more, you want to be able to define form, but not overdo it.

The silhouette is very important in a work like this. I done a quick 5 minute paint-over for you to show some of the changes. I changed the tail angle to be more dynamic and to give a better read. I also tucked in under the beak to give the lines some more flow. Fluffed up the head area to give more visual interest and definition to the silhouette. Finally I added some sneaky lines to bring the focus back to the eye for a better composition feel. Minor tweaks, that you may or may not agree with. You obviously have some training and background here, considering your eye placement is on the rule of thirds intersection and the fact you done this with watercolour, a tricky medium at the best of times, so your mileage may vary on what I have to say.

Its fine as a technical illustration I think, but with images like these you tend to be not drawn in to much. Try to find ways to grab the viewer's attention a bit more. Keep up the good work, your doing great.

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Old 09-10-2019, 08:41 PM
birdmcfarland birdmcfarland is offline
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Re: Winter wren

SilverSwallow, thank you very much! I really appreciate your time in analyzing this. Your comments are very helpful!
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Old 09-11-2019, 10:21 AM
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Cycroft Cycroft is offline
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Re: Winter wren

I like everything about your wren. I compared it to some of my photographs and found it to be a faithful rendition. I'd add a bit of catch-light in the eye and call it finished. Looks terrific.
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Old 09-11-2019, 02:43 PM
birdmcfarland birdmcfarland is offline
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Re: Winter wren

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cycroft
I like everything about your wren. I compared it to some of my photographs and found it to be a faithful rendition. I'd add a bit of catch-light in the eye and call it finished. Looks terrific.
Thank you!!
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Old 09-11-2019, 07:26 PM
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~JMW~ ~JMW~ is offline
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Re: Winter wren

Nice, maybe match the legs a bit more color wise?
Bird seems quite realistic, but I feel the post or stump could be in the same style.
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