If you are stuck in any pub in Ireland while waiting for friends to arrive from the hotel or B&B, you can always ask the barman to lend you some reading matter to peruse while killing the time. Simply ask to borrow "Jack's paper".
Ireland's leading playwright is Samuel Beckett, but a lot of his works were hit-or-miss. You can impress many fellow theatre-goers in one fell swoop by saying (in an expert voice): "Yes, but his last tape was Krapp!"
Ireland's most famous author during St Patrick's times was called Kelly. Even though he only wrote one book, if you are passing Trinity College it's a good chance to see his oeuvre. Simply ask anyone on the campus "Where's Kelly's book?"
Ireland's most famous postcard is a turf-cutting scene by the great postmodernist artist John Hinde. You can now get your photograph taken with the donkey actually used in the scene: simply ask your taxi driver to take you to the popular seaside resort known as "Ballymun Flats".
If another couple of tourists ask you to take a photograph of them, always be glad to do so. Then when you are handing them back their camera, be sure to drop it on the ground so they won't be bothering anyone else! And always be on the lookout for people taking pictures of one another in front of historic buildings. Simply walk behind them, jump up and down, pull stupid faces and give them something to remember and cherish when they return home!