Home › Forums › Explore Subjects › Figure, The › An Excellent Waiter: not a nude (X-post Watercolor)
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April 3, 2018 at 7:03 pm #454021
Not a nude, but I would like any thoughts for improvements from the fantastic people in this forum. This is on a full sheet (30 x 22 inches) of hot pressed paper with Qor watercolors. I would like to submit this to a regional show, so if you have any ideas in terms of improving the design, I would love to hear them.
Kate
April 4, 2018 at 2:55 am #598431It’s always good to have some why and drama in a painting Kate the light is giving you the drama but where is the why?
You could increase the drama by subduing the colour and light that is not important and take out anything that does not add to the why so things become clearer, perhaps add something to solidify the story.Dave.
PS when I mentioned the light I did not mean the light fitting.
“What peaches and what penumbras! Whole families shopping at night! Aisles full of husbands! Wives in the avocados, babies in the tomatoes!—and you, Garcia Lorca, what were you doing down by the watermelons?”
— Allen Ginsberg
Are you ready for a Journey?
PS Critiques always welcome but no plaudits or emoting, please don’t press the like button.April 4, 2018 at 5:52 am #598436Dave, do we question the why of Van Gogh’s room or his sunflowers? Kate’s picture has great use of light and contrasting colours which really pop out. Why on earth would you want to subdue it? The sheer size of the picture will bowl viewers over. Well done Kate
PS love debating with you Dave
Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art - Leonardo da Vinci
More than happy to receive C&C on anything I post
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https://www.instagram.com/the_henson_gallery/April 4, 2018 at 7:34 am #598433As you know, Kate, I’m a great admirer of your figure studies. I’ll be quite frank and say I don’t think this one works as it is.
It is difficult to read the principal figure in part because of the shirt below the apron string not really connecting with the rest of the figure at first sight. The dominant area of the picture however is the brick wall. My first impression was that this was a bricklayer at work. There is actually little to tell us that we are in a restaurant. The second figure only comes to your notice after a while. The fact that both faces are hidden gives the piece a secretive, conspiratorial air. If that’s What you were going for, fine. I think it would be improved with the face of the second character visible. It would give some sense of interaction between the people. The top part of the picture is very bare. This would be OK if the bottom part had more in it, more utensils, plates, equipment, whatever and preferably breaking up the monolithic wall a bit. I do find the very strong blue-orange palette a bit stark.
As I say, a purely personal view. Ignore it completely, enter the picture and win first prize!C&C always welcome.
Instagram harry.hamillApril 4, 2018 at 8:02 pm #598434Dave, given what I do for a living, the why is really important to me, but I hadn’t really thought about it for this painting. Of course, I used photos. I loved the colors in them and could see it as a watercolor. I’ll have to think about the why some more. There may be none for this painting, and I’ll have to move on to the next.
David, I’m glad you like the painting and think the colors pop. For this painting, I was thinking of color most. Next I was thinking about using angled lines to focus on the figure, with most other lines horizontal. Restaurant scenes frequently get into this show, so that was on my mind too. I guess what is bothering me is that I painted for a show and not for me. I like painting about difficult issues, and this one doesn’t have that meaning packed into it.. But it does have some qualities that will appeal to the juror for this show.
Harry, there are a lot of bare passages. I had a figure in the left foreground, but it didn’t feel right, so I took it out. That left a big passage of nothing. I was also worried about the shirt below the apron string. It may be too bright. If I put a layer of blue over that area, it may fit better. I’ll think about that some too, because once I do that, there is no going back. Thanks for your thoughtful comments.
Kate
April 7, 2018 at 12:13 am #598432I don’t think you should change anything in this one. I agree with Dave in that it doesn’t bump a narrative or feeling for me personally, but I could see someone else having a significant reaction to it from the perspective of eating alone at a restaurant. (no one sitting in the chair across from the viewer)
The one little thing I think I’d suggest (but perhaps just in a future work) is a slight toning down of the blue wall to add some depth and pull some focus away from all those grout lines and back to your subject.
But all in all I’d call this piece pretty darn successful. Good luck with the juror!
[FONT=Century Gothic] [FONT=Century Gothic]Comments and critique actively sought and much appreciated! [/SIZE][/B]
Rick. . . [/COLOR][/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. [/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. . [/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. . . [/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. . . [/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. . [/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. .[/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic] . [/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. . . [/COLOR][FONT=Century Gothic]. . . [/COLOR]pigment storm fine art[FONT=Century Gothic] . . . watch the paint flow![/SIZE]April 7, 2018 at 12:12 pm #598435Rick, thanks for your comments. Others have suggested reducing the value change between the bricks and the grout. I could put a light wash over those areas.
One of the reasons I love the Figure Forum is because it makes me think. I’ve been thinking about why I was drawn to this image. I like Rick‘s thought about thinking from the perspective of someone eating alone. But I have also been thinking about Dave‘s wondering about the “why” of the painting, and Harry‘s reaction that there is a sense of conspiracy or secretiveness. These comments made me think for several days. I have been teaching about class oppression lately, and perhaps part the reading and teaching I have been doing worked its way into this painting. Those of us that are wealthy enough to eat at fancy restaurants see only a server, not a full blooded human. One way to represent that perspective of privileged is to show those who serve, but not show their faces. Degas did this with many of his nudes. Degas often puts the faces of the servants who are helping women with their baths behind the towel, or darkens them so we don’t notice them like we do the central figure. That may be the undercurrent, but it may be too subtle.
Thanks again, everyone!
Kate
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