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February 12, 2012 at 8:46 pm #989351
Do you know a good joke? If you do (and who doesn’t?) and if it is not
racist and is clean, please submit it here!You get kudos, bragging rights, and extra credit, if any of the following
apply:
[INDENT]You keep your joke short.Your joke is original.
For the enlightenment of the wit-challenged, such as myself,
you explain why your joke is funny, so that we can eventually
“get” it, even if we can’t figure it out on our own.
[/INDENT]—-Let’s start. Here’s my contribution, which I can truthfully brag is original:
Two printers were standing outside of their shops in the South Loop area
of Chicago, having an argument about who had the better presses, the
fastest turnaround time, etc., and a tourist interrupts them to ask them
where he can find the famous Printers’ Row. One of the printers starts
laughingly hysterically. The other printer and the tourist look concerned.Explanation: The tourist not only found the famous Printers’ Row, but he
found two printers on Printers’ Row having a printers’ row.AJ (opainter), C&C always welcome
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:::: Painting Blog with an article now and thenJune 4, 2012 at 8:51 am #1155300Very funny.
I am sorry to saw I cannot think of an artist joke at this present time. However, I figured you would do with a laugh having at least someone commenting on your joke. I am currently a newsletter editor for a cycling club. I tried to get subscribers to provide captions to funny pictures, and even offered rewards for best caption. I did not get a single response – go figure!
This reminds me of a John Wayne movie:
John Wayne: “Don’t you feel foolish wearing that hat?”
Kate: “I NEVER FEEL FOOLISH!”
John Wayne: “That’s because you don’t have a sense of humour.”September 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm #1155301*oonph* Puns. Simultaneously the highest and lowest form of humour.
Here’s mine: “His art teachers thought he was so bad they wondered how he could draw a breath.” (not original)
Tamara Temple, aka tamouse__
"May you never see a stranger's face in the mirror."
December 27, 2012 at 7:26 pm #1155299You Must Be An Artist If….
-The only piece of new furniture you have in your home is a $2000 easel.
-You purchase a ton of books, and most are blank inside.
-There are Prussian blue fingerprints on your phone.
-You stay awake late at night wondering how to render on canvas the dimly lit shapes and the shadows in your room.
-When you go out, you are always stopping and gazing at the world around you.
-You clean your brushes in your coffee.
-You explain your deplorably bad housekeeping by saying, “it’s a work-in-progress…”
-You get a feeling of calmness from holding and stroking the bristles of your clean paintbrushes.
-At the gym you take note of the intense facial expressions of the heavy lifters.
-You never look at a person’s face as a whole. You break it up into shadows and lines and shapes, and think how they would look on a canvas.February 20, 2013 at 9:46 pm #1155293May 7, 2013 at 4:44 pm #1155304Why didn’t Picasso cross the road?
Because his mind’s eye already knew what a chicken looks like!
Why did Picasso leave the work force?
Because he didn’t pan out at the job he loved,… As a forensic artist!
Mike
July 5, 2013 at 7:36 am #1155305A Man walks in Starbucks and sit’s down. He sets his potfolio down in front of him and order’s a small latte’.
Sitting next to him is a beautiful woman. She turns and ask’s him;
“Are you a Real Artist?”
“Well, I guess so” he replied. I paint landscapes, I do pen and ink portaits, I occasionally do a few murals,
and I have hundreds of colors of paint and numerous paint brushes, so, yes.
I believe I am a Real Artist.”The woman sips her espresso, and reply’s;
” I’m a lesbian.”
“I wake up thinking of beautiful women. When I’m at work I think about beautiful women. When I’m eating I think about them,
and even when I go to sleep at night.
All I ever think about is beautiful women.”Sipping his latte’ A man comes in and sits down next to him.
“Are you a Real Artist?” the man asks.
“Well, I always thought I was…”
“But now, I think I’m a lesbian.”August 8, 2013 at 10:57 pm #1155297An artist is the person who paints himself (or herself) into a corner.
AJ (opainter), C&C always welcome
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:::: Painting Blog with an article now and thenFebruary 18, 2016 at 1:54 am #1155279Probably my original; I use it often and so far no one says they’ve heard it :
“Take it with a grain of Gestalt.”
~cfm
April 2, 2016 at 8:49 pm #1155308oh my gouache
May 3, 2016 at 10:20 pm #1155278Whaddya’ call a man with no arms, and no legs, hanging on the wall?
“Art”.
wfmartin. My Blog "Creative Realism"...
https://williamfmartin.blogspot.comMay 7, 2016 at 10:44 pm #1155309I call it a fable, because it may not even be true. It’s still a good fable.
Picasso is sitting on a park bench sketching and a woman walking by recognized him. So excited to meet the great Picasso, she asked him to draw a sketch of her.
He rolled to a new sheet on his sketch pad, and began; when he was finished, he peeled the sketch off and handed it to her. “That will be $5000.”
“$5000?!” she screamed, “but it only took you five minutes!”
“No madam, actually it took me my entire life.”
"I'd far rather be happy than right any day." - HHGTTG
http://www.scribblings-n-stuff.comAugust 21, 2016 at 6:05 pm #1155312Not sure if this is the perfect thread for these and am also mildly worried I’m immediately building a reputation here of being absolute meme-trash, but these are ones that always got a giggle out of me:
September 2, 2016 at 11:34 am #1155294September 5, 2016 at 3:17 pm #1155296 -
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