Mental Illness and creativity

[thevaliantx]

Originally Posted by Carcharhinus

I think I'm probably going to see a doctor soon about my mental health. I've thought since my early teens that I was probably suffering from some sort of depression but in the last year or so I think it has gotten progressively worse. I'm regularly falling in to what feel like a pit of self loathing and hate, having problems controlling my temper over insignificant things and am bordering, I think, on agoraphobic with my social withdrawal.

Last week I had two bouts of an extreme hyperactivity and racing thoughts that came on almost like my depressive episodes, just in the opposite direction, so I think I may be developing some kind of bipolar.

I really have little idea, and I'm always wary about claiming that there's something wrong with me mentally because so many people these days seem to use it as a way to make themselves more interesting when they don't have much going for them. I'd rather not contribute to that kind of thing because I feel like it undermines actual mental illness, which I know is a serious thing.

I understand what you're saying, I just don't agree with you. Human beings, in general, are "interesting" creatures, and there is no denying that mental illness is something that some of the most famous people in history have struggled with. After posting about MY problems in this thread, I look back and do wonder why others posted about their's. I also wonder why you felt the need to dismiss others in their efforts to talk about their problems, going as far as suggesting they have nothing going for them. Personally, I think each person who posted in this thread is looking for a little bit of attention. We ALL strive for attention. This whole world is about attention-grabbing anymore.

[moepar]

My 800 pound gorilla has brought his girlfriend around to sit on me this week. Having a very hard time focusing/painting/doing anything. Actually did do a little painting yesterday - first time since last Thursday. Wasn't very productive, but did get a little done. Will try again this evening, see if that will help. Am going into town today to go to the Y, do some heavy duty exersize for an hour or two, which sometimes helps.

[Carcharhinus]

Originally Posted by thevaliantx

I understand what you're saying, I just don't agree with you. Human beings, in general, are "interesting" creatures, and there is no denying that mental illness is something that some of the most famous people in history have struggled with. After posting about MY problems in this thread, I look back and do wonder why others posted about their's. I also wonder why you felt the need to dismiss others in their efforts to talk about their problems, going as far as suggesting they have nothing going for them. Personally, I think each person who posted in this thread is looking for a little bit of attention. We ALL strive for attention. This whole world is about attention-grabbing anymore.

I wasn't talking about the people in this thread, all of whom I'm perfectly sure are telling the truth. I'm sorry that is what you inferred from my post. I also wasn't talking about everyone who claims to be mentally ill. Just a select few who I have encountered.

I also wasn't saying that people were talking about their mental illness to make themselves more interesting, I was saying that people increasingly fake mental illness to seem more interesting. They do this because it's unverifiable and because they have no idea what it is really like to be mentally ill because they have neither known someone who was or done the research. I had a friend in university who claimed to have synethesia. He didn't, he was just trying to adopt a trendy quirk.

I come across a lot of people who claim to have some kind of mental issue. OCD is the most common one but you get things like depression, bipolar, schizophrenia etc. There's a very modern trend of people who have regular every day problems trying to make them out to be symptoms of mental illness and I think it is harmful for the understanding of actual illness.

Mental illness is a serious issue - as serious as physical illness I think - and I think that these people are damaging to our understanding of mental illness as a whole. People meet people that claim to have these illnesses, when they don't and subsequently people will take claims of mental illness in society less seriously. I'm sure diagnosed people in this thread have encountered the kind of people that I am talking about in social situations. They trivialise something that is important.

I have no problem with anyone discussing their problems. I encourage it. All I was saying was that I personally don't want to claim that I have an illness when I may not. I would prefer to be diagnosed first. I'm wary of being one of these people who acts like simple personality quirks are a serious medical condition. If I'm a bit bored and despondent and I go around saying that it is clinical depression, anyone who meets me will have a view of depression that isn't accurate. I don't want to perpetuate that.

[DebbieO]

Most people I know would want to hide a mental illness due to it's stigma so It's hard to imagine someone faking one!

I've suspected myself of having some mental issues but I refrain from self-diagnosis and as long as I am generally happy and doing well in life I accept my quirks and embrace them, since a diagnosis doesn't serve any purpose unless you are seeking treatment.

My favourite quote since I was a teen and began to notice my tendencies was "Use your faults. Use your defects. Then you're going to be a star." I don't think I'm a star lol but it helps me accept myself. I tend to be obsessive and manic at times and incredibly dark at other times but I 'paint' or 'warm' my brain with music and visuals to bring it back (if that makes sense) and revel in the mania I often feel when I'm in deep with the obsession of the day. I wouldn't tell anyone around me what's going on inside my head--somehow I've convinced myself it will destroy my illusion that I can use my tendencies for good.

The more I adopt this perspective fully I find the better I am able to stay away from the deeper depressions but it can be a challenge at times.

At times I wonder if everyone has these tricks and we just don't talk about them.

[artyczar]

Admitting to your mental illness is not an attention-seeking behavior. It's brave because people look at you like they can't trust you, or they just think you are trouble when they find out. Why would someone fake something that would give them negative attention, lose friends, jobs, respect, and status? When I got diagnosed with bipolar I was more devastated to hear it than when I was told I had MS! It was my worst fear come true. Luckily, my meds help me so much, I don't have much issue with having a mental illness anymore. Sure, some things throw me off at times, but that's life for anyone. Still, before the meds, I can't tell you how much needless suffering I experienced. I wanted to die. I don't feel that way anymore, thanks to my medications.

[lodestar]

Yes, Yes and yes. So I avoid self-medicating accept for Saint John's Wart/ a cup very strong coffee light or no sugar and Vitamin supplements Acetyl L-Carnitine, Ginkgo Biloba with a good night’s sleep melatonin assisted. Since I must do something artistically every day whether I feel fine or not. A lot images or thoughts I don't care for pile up. When I'm up I feel I tackle any creative problem or issue, when I down no one hear a peep from me at all.
I have three bottles of (I dare not name) accept in the company of those who likewise have their own issues. I and I won't touch them unless I lose it almost entirely. Because I loathe them as I cannot function with them in my system physically. Even though the medication drastically reduces certain issues which shall unnamed. No drugs save for the prescribed Prozac.
What really want say Is I get better work done with a cup of coffee stretched over my working period, 1st its hot and I gage my moments of preparation and focus to it, then it's warm and at that point I begin assessing as I ease off intensity and step away into kind of emotional distance.
I try to take a clinical/scientific thoughtful approach, by the time the coffee cools I shut down evenly, deliberately if all is going okay or well I drop a couple ice cubes into it turning the remainder in my cup to Ice Coffee and take a meditative break with calm steady breaths.
With serious meds nothing is happening for me at all (Though my Doctor tells me we still have many more options (I’m thinking he means Anti-psychotics by Varied dosage tweaking and regulation) to try. It, is also by use of Guitar playing I regulate my mood dissipate restless energy or elevate declining energy through increased activity of my metabolism.
I watch my mind and my thoughts, my feelings. I chronicle everything through my Art. When I Don't, I know I headed on a downward spiral that could result in weeks or days of lost time and a bleak period.
I hope these thoughts I contribute here are useful and helpful... to those of like mind for at present I’m emerging from a rut state by converting my garage into a humble but working studio. In activity is like quicksand, and chronic rumination is caustic to effort and energy. Everything is Art to me, Art is everything to me

[Callie917]

I too suffer from anxiety and a touch of depression... I say a touch, because it's few and far between now... the anxiety however is worse since I've gotten older. A lot of it is social, I feel very uncomfortable going out and doing "normal" things, like going to the store, etc. If I pull my car into a parking lot and notice there's too many people outside the store, I can't get out of my car. I'll sit there and tell myself "Just get out of the car, what's the big deal?"!!! Sometimes I'll wait for over 20mins before I can get out of the car, sometimes I drive away and say "Forget it!", other times I call my best friend and that helps. This doesn't happen all the time but more, now that I'm older. It's weird because I work with people all day at my PT job but in my personal life, I am a totally different person. I studied Psychology in college, it was my original major, so I've learned a lot about myself and how to prevent and overcome "triggers". I still struggle but instead of beating myself up over the way I am, I change my thoughts. Yes, there are still days when it's just impossible, but I won't let ME be the death of me... if that makes sense.

[lodestar]

Originally Posted by Border Corpsman

Sorry, guess I could include a few of my Brain Paintings for shiggles.

Beautiful Stuff!

[Gerinsm]

Yeah it really is a great stuff. In stress I cant work with focus because of my mind that is wandering at that time. I need relax environment for my work and I feel strange how some people work in mental stress and other problems.

[EllenRipley]

I am both glad and terrified how much I find myself in many posts here,including yours...I try to look at depression in a positive way - like "de - pression" ,taking out the pressure, should be good,no?
I think the toughest part is accepting yourself for who you are... As we live in society where everything is planned and art is so vague.
I joined a gym a year ago. Cut alcohol and cigarettes. Still had 2 crises just 2 months ago when I gave my pills to my friend just because I don't trust myself.
I don't like the term "mental illness". All prophets and magicians should have been mentally ill in that case.

[artyczar]

Why are St. Luke's post and my most recent post not here anymore?

[stlukesguild]

The whole site is acting screwy. I've had posts disappear and other posts that I didn't write are being attributed to me. Snoball says that PMs are showing up in the posts... sometimes attributed to others. I think it's time to bow out for a while and spend my time elsewhere.

[Doug Nykoe]

Depression is a real money maker for big pharma,,, sad really.

Does anyone really think fluoride helps with creativity?

[ariel5466]

I've battled with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder since middle school and discovered my love for art when I was in a mental hospital and a residential treatment facility for my entire senior year. It's part of what saved me. It's the healthiest coping mechanism I have.