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  • January 25, 2018 at 5:16 pm #450146
    @teulis
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        This is a preliminary sketch for a work I’d like to do in a 12×16 in either soft or oil pastel.

        I’m looking foremost for thoughts on the composition. I want the deeper part of the sea to seem tumultuous and dark, so I want to add a few shadows of creatures in the depths, maybe give the water some subtle shapes. With that in mind, I don’t know if the centered mermaid is boring. Or if the lighter surface at the top and busier waters at the bottom balance out. Should I add another focus item in between? Or add more to the surface?

        I’ll be changing the color scheme to be more of a grayscale, with the mermaid having color on her upper half and the surface having some tinges of blue to differentiate from the dark, colorless depths.

        I think I need to work on the angle of the mermaid as I want to be looking ‘up’ at her. If I’m taking that angle instead of looking at her from the side, does the surface look appropriate? Or do I need to still work on the angle of the surface? Right now I think it looks like it’s in front and not in the distance.

        Any other comments or suggestions are welcome! Thank you!
        [ATTACH]853961[/ATTACH]

        I apologize – the pic was too big and so I ‘uploaded’ a pdf. Looks like it’s a link instead of embedded.

        January 25, 2018 at 6:46 pm #552210
        @teulis
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            After some fiddling I was able to resize.

            [attach]853967[/attach]

            January 26, 2018 at 12:12 am #552207
            ~JMW~
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                Is there some glare or wrinkles, or seems washed out a bit..
                something with the head & neck seems off…

                ~Joy~

                January 26, 2018 at 1:09 am #552211
                @teulis
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                    Yes, there is glare on most of the paper. Bad lighting. And the paper is indeed a bit wrinkled. This is just a practice sketch, though. When I finalize the composition and colors I’ll start over on a clean paper. The figure is not 100% correct or complete (no hair yet) since I was mainly concentrating on laying out the various pieces in the right places. I read that one should do a few different compositions before settling on the final so I’d like to try to do that. That’s where your input comes in. :)

                    January 26, 2018 at 4:05 am #552208
                    Trumper
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                        I do wonder if you would have a more dramatic view point if you were at the depths amongst the darkness looking up into the light surface.

                        January 26, 2018 at 7:10 am #552212
                        @teulis
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                            Hmmm…a steeper viewpoint. Interesting. I’ll give it a shot. Thanks!

                            January 26, 2018 at 7:26 am #552209
                            SilverSwallow
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                                Its a nice idea for sure, and I think you have got some good feedback here already.
                                There is defiantly anatomy issues to address. Both human and fish anatomy as it stands. I would say the current composition is uninteresting as it stands. It just seems devoid of life. There is a few issues causing this.
                                The pose is very static. There is an absence of gesture in the figure and your perspective is not correct on both the figure and the image in general. At that camera angle, you will not see the surface plane as depicted. Value is intrinsically linked with composition, so you need to consider this too.

                                If you are unsure of perspective, there is plenty of free information online to get you started and help you out.

                                Right now the viewer is placed to the side and above the mermaid, and like Trumper mentioned having a more dynamic angle to view the events would be better.
                                You are doing preliminary sketches so that’s good. Just make small thumbnails about 8-9cm each and use a pencil to quickly sketch out ideas. They dont have to be works of art in themselves, just quick studies. Sometimes I just write numbers in them to represent where the main elements and supporting elements will go. All you want is the idea.

                                Decide where your story is, what you want to tell, and work from there. Do a few pages of support studies and explore different angles. The first thumbnail is not always the best, although it can be. Aim for a minimum of 12 different compositions, you will be surprised at what you can do as your brain clicks into creative mode. Don’t be discouraged,your making good progress. Good luck with it.:wave:

                                Failure, the greatest teacher there is!- Master Yoda
                                Thoughts,tips,insights and personal critiques over on my new blog at https://art-beat.blog/

                                January 26, 2018 at 9:39 am #552213
                                @teulis
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                                    I’ll be busting out the sketchbook and pencils. I do have the habit of trying to ceate with one or two sketches and I’m trying to break away from that. I’ll force myself to work smaller thumbnails as you mention and try the different angles as you Trumper point out.

                                    I wasn’t too worried with the corretness of the anatomy or the values at this point. I was having fun with a few sample pencils I recieved so even the color scheme isn’t what I’m planning. But I’m realizing the importance of focusing on my objective. I’ll do some serious sketching this weekend and hopefully I can get additional feedback. One can read everything available but there’s nothing like an honest critic’s eye. Appreciate the guidance SilverSwallow and Trumper!

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