Home › Forums › The WetCanvas! Galleria › Open Critique Forum › WIPs (Works in Progress) › suggestions please
- This topic has 14 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by Charles Perera.
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August 1, 2019 at 1:28 pm #476367
10×14 oil on stretched canvas
How can I improve this?
The shore line seems off a bit.
What of the trees–fore and mid ground?what of the water?
Thanks!
August 1, 2019 at 1:54 pm #862330Nice painting. Only thing that I see is it feels like everything is running down the right side. there are 7 lines all running off the same direction which gives the feeling that the painting is not straight. The trees are also slanting to the right. If this is a lake Often times you will see a section of the water that is blown by the wind and shows white but the rest can be still. I think if you break up some of the lines and straighten some so they are not all going in the same direction it would give more balance to the painting. Also maybe darkening the water. I am not a pro. Just my thoughts, but I do like the painting.
August 1, 2019 at 7:00 pm #862324Thanks!
It really IS leaning! Good suggestions, all. I will work on them. That far shore line will get some work, too. Now, to not tip it the other way!August 1, 2019 at 8:31 pm #862320Also..
Make a value change on the left side trees to separate them for distance & interest….Being the same color blends them all together..~Joy~
August 2, 2019 at 8:36 pm #862325I think that’s what caught my eye in the first place! It’s been in my room for a while, then had to set it lower and it started to bother me.
Thanks!August 5, 2019 at 5:00 pm #862332With the water, in my very limited experienced opinion, I might suggest having some smaller details near the back shoreline getting a bit larger as your are moving towards the foreground/water line to give more depth and distance to the lake overall. I really like it!
August 14, 2019 at 9:59 pm #862326The painting as first shown was completed I think in 1983. That’s some of what I knew then, this is some of what I know now…
So, progress:Thanks for your suggestions. I do think this is better. Please suggest ways to improve this, it is NOT finished yet. One item is mountain reflection in the water, and I do not know how to do that right now. All suggestions are welcomed. What do you think?
August 15, 2019 at 8:35 am #862331What I do us patch in the colors and shape. Then with a wide brush drag it down from the horizon line. But then it looks like there is a current with some possible wind waves so the reflections if any would be quite distorted. Good job leveling it. Looks much better. You have a nice thing going there.
August 15, 2019 at 11:30 am #862321The midground left land has a couple harsh/pointy dark lines, I liked the softer shoreline that you had before for that area.
~Joy~
August 16, 2019 at 9:05 am #862327Winter guy, thanks for your encouraging words. I hope to be adding some reflections and a few more ripples soon.
JMW, thanks. I will address that too.
September 1, 2019 at 8:59 pm #862328Finally got to work on this a bit more. I’d sure appreciate suggestions to improve! Thanks for looking.
December 27, 2019 at 1:47 pm #862333I think i’d add an inlet or sandbar to the right side of the painting and make the shoreline a little less straight. Maybe add some rocks. Love the mountains!!!
December 27, 2019 at 5:25 pm #862322I’d smooth out the water with thicker paint? Some sort of texture lines are showing thru? makes it not seem like fluid water..
There is a harsh curved line in water that doesn’t fit any reflection , so not sure what it is for.. If water is slightly active or choppy , no need for reflections of mountains..The left shoreline is too harsh and straight for nature.
~Joy~
December 28, 2019 at 12:47 am #862323I think the sky and mountains are looking really good except for the shoreline. I find the little row of trees distracting from the majesty of the mountain.
For the midground on the left, I liked it better when it was all pine trees. The tree you have there now doesn’t fit in and is too detailed. You should simplify this area and just think “shapes” not “things”. Also, you don’t want to draw the eye to the edge of your painting with that very tall tree. Cut it down a bit, but don’t have it level with the mountain.Patricia
www.pprendergast.faso.comDecember 29, 2019 at 1:22 pm #862329Thanks to you all, for all your thoughts and replies. I haven’t really been ignoring you, but the result is the same. I fell in Sept and only a few days ago started (I think) painting again.
I did make a few changes in fore and mid ground, and rather than mt. reflection, added what I hope appear as ripples in the distant and mid ground water.
Joy, I hope I softened that area enough. Is the water better?
Suzie, Welcome, and thanks for your input. You’re right, the V right side needed something, but I think this scene has too narrow a scope for V right side sandbar. I think what I’ve done with the foreground makes up for that side.
Patricia, Thanks! I wonder if you’re right about the trees. I may try to shorten the pine. Taking 2 1/4″ off would make it even with the Birch tree. I may try for 3/4″.
I have a lot of catching up to do, I will try to work on it this week.
Again, thanks. I couldn’t have gotten this far without you.
Have a safe, prosperous, and pleasant 2020! -
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