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Old 04-09-2012, 06:51 PM
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ryster007 ryster007 is offline
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Setting out- structured critique please!





GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Setting out- structured critique please!
Year Created:
Medium: Mixed-Media
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 15x12 inches
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:

This one is inspired by the many beautiful harbour/fishing villages on the East Coast of Scotland, Eyemouth, Dunbar, Crail etc.

I've used collage, Inks, Texture gels, Acrylic and oil pastels to create this.



MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I'd welcome any C&C

Ryan

Last edited by Dana Design : 04-10-2012 at 08:34 AM.
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Old 04-10-2012, 03:32 PM
AllisonR AllisonR is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

I recognize your style - I remember the cat one. So points there. Charming scene. Good use of patterns.

Crits:
The pink boat should be moved to the left. Right now it is growing out of the top of the purple boat. Bad - like when you have a photo of a person with a pole behind their head.
The reflection of the purple boat is too saturated and too sharp. My eye fights seeing those six even circles, when three should be funny and duller.
IMO, something looks off about that guys head. Like he is a photo stuck into the scene. Does not match the style of the rest of the painting. For this I stress it is my opinion, others may feel he fits in perfectly.
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:20 AM
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ryster007 ryster007 is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonR
I recognize your style - I remember the cat one. So points there. Charming scene. Good use of patterns.

Crits:
The pink boat should be moved to the left. Right now it is growing out of the top of the purple boat. Bad - like when you have a photo of a person with a pole behind their head.
The reflection of the purple boat is too saturated and too sharp. My eye fights seeing those six even circles, when three should be funny and duller.
IMO, something looks off about that guys head. Like he is a photo stuck into the scene. Does not match the style of the rest of the painting. For this I stress it is my opinion, others may feel he fits in perfectly.

Allison- Thanks for the crit

Fair point on the position of the red boat, there was originally going to be more lined up along there but I opted to simplify it with just one (I guess I picked the wrong one! )

I'll look at the reflections too- maybe another glaze will soften

Going to leave the man but interested to hear any other opinions

Cheers
Ryan
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Old 04-17-2012, 01:27 AM
FarisBermamet FarisBermamet is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Are these music notes for the roofs of the house!!!! That is amazing !!! That is genius!!

I like the water reflection. The blue boat and the man. The isometric perspective. The color harmony.

Maybe it needs a bit more characters. A seagull standing next the barrels to the left maybe? Looks a bit empty for a pier.

Last edited by FarisBermamet : 04-17-2012 at 01:33 AM.
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:26 AM
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dgford dgford is online now
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Is the little house being squeezed into a contorted shape by the big bullies each side of it !
Lovely wall relections and depiction of the sky.
Geoff
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:54 AM
FarisBermamet FarisBermamet is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Ok, no reply from the artist. Don't see the point putting it in the critique forum then. Guess this was a waste of time.
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Old 05-05-2012, 03:07 PM
song_bird song_bird is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

This is a delightful piece! Very fun and happy, and original in style (to me).

Only thing I wonder about is the pink boat appears to be floating in air. I'm not understanding that.

Yes, the musical notes on the rooftops is a great touch and really add a lot!
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:37 AM
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ryster007 ryster007 is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by FarisBermamet
Ok, no reply from the artist. Don't see the point putting it in the critique forum then. Guess this was a waste of time.

Hey Faris

Not a waste of time at all. It had fallen off the first page or so on the forum so didn't think I'd get any comments! Just picked up on it not I was checking a more recent painting

Yes is music from a traditional sea shanty song. The next one will be more densely populated for sure! Still working up this style and trying to integrate figures that fit

I appreciate your comments

Ryan
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:40 AM
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ryster007 ryster007 is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by dgford
Is the little house being squeezed into a contorted shape by the big bullies each side of it !
Lovely wall relections and depiction of the sky.
Geoff

Hey Geoff,

those building are competing for the best view

Thanks for the comments

Ryan
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:42 AM
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ryster007 ryster007 is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by song_bird
This is a delightful piece! Very fun and happy, and original in style (to me).

Only thing I wonder about is the pink boat appears to be floating in air. I'm not understanding that.

Yes, the musical notes on the rooftops is a great touch and really add a lot!

Fair point for the pink boat- the supports are supposed to be hidden by the boat in front but take the point it doesn't read correctly

Ryan
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Old 07-09-2012, 07:14 PM
henrik henrik is offline
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Re: Setting out- structured critique please!

Whimsical, fun to look at, puts a smile on my face. I especially like the squeezed diagonal house and the musical notes in the roofs.

The only thing I don't like is the green land mass on the right (looks like a color from a different palette). IMO it would look better if the water extended all the way to the horizon.

Regarding the pink boat, I would just add a visible support on (our) left side to explain that is not a flying boat

Nitpicking - the top of the quay aligns with the fisherman's beard making his head disappear somewhat into it. Maybe darken the background there a bit?
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