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Old 11-08-2000, 08:45 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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Florida
 
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Question Repost for Help me Out! Sorry

<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/tortugas-sketch.JPG" border=0>

I needed more help than I thought - it would help to upload the pic! To Recap:

I have already spent more time on this than I intended. This is a real place although some elements have been omitted – I think I would like this better without the lighthouse- it seems just a little too cute if you know what I mean. The palms are to contrived, with the biggest problem being they are out of scale and have the form of young ones. I erased them once and did them over and they ended up the same. Go figure. The image I am trying to convey is the remoteness of the island and the crystaline character of the water, (if you were in a boat you would feel as if you were floating in air) as you come around the island and headed off into the vast ocean towards Mexico .

This is just an idea I am kicking around for a painting…I spent a lot of time on the water – trying this and that and I learned from it But the biggest problem is the lack of a “hook” What would you do?
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Old 11-09-2000, 12:46 AM
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bruin70 bruin70 is offline
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grace,,,,i think if you're going to put the shore off to one side , then it makes sense to also extend the trees off the page as well,,,,,,rather than keeping them within the framed area.

also,,,the clouds look formless to me.
.....{M}



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"it's alright to be judgmental,,,,,,,,if you have taste"...MILT
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Old 11-09-2000, 07:41 AM
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oleCC oleCC is offline
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Grace... I agree with Milt here about the palm trees. Also, I think I understand what you are trying to convey. It is going to end up a painting about water if you totally eliminate the lighthouse. That is just MHO, and am no expert on composition.
The remote island becomes even more remote with distance and avoiding too much detail.
I would personally find it quite difficult to
concentrate on just conveying the crystaline
look of that water. Carol
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Old 11-09-2000, 08:16 AM
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LarrySeiler LarrySeiler is offline
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In addition to what the others have said here, you simply have too many horizontals going on Grace, and would not have a painting left with the lighthouse gone.

Your clouds run horizontally, the beach shoreline, the rhythm of the water, the horizon of the distant eyelevel. etc;

You rightly placed the waterline below the center of the picture, but it opened up so much space above that it suggests you as the painter have something of great interest for us to see. Without the lighthouse, what would that be?

If anything...I might have zoomed in a bit more so we could have seen more of the trees and more of the lighthouse. Perhaps the eyelevel closer to the water looking up at the lighthouse which gives it a greater sense of importance.

Larry
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Old 11-09-2000, 09:06 AM
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LDianeJohnson LDianeJohnson is offline
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Hi Grace,
I see you are trying to achieve a peaceful scene. The sky/sea begin to project this feeling. The lighthouse is your focal point and the trees reinforce that focal point. The trees are very nice, but there are a couple ways to use them to bring your painting together more. Right now, there is much movement in the trees, and quite a few of them. Try gently coaxing them to blow in generally same direction to reinforce the sea sky movement. Also, try reducing the number of trees. Rather than giving a feeling of solitude, this volume of trees gives a sense that the island may be populated.

In addition, along the coast there is a great deal of atmosphere and mist between objects. The lighthouse and trees could be subdued a bit to give the impression that they are out on the island and not in the foreground.
Diane
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Old 11-09-2000, 01:04 PM
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CarlyHardy CarlyHardy is offline
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I cropped your pic on both sides. Added more clouds in the sky for more interest and for a vertical design which relates to the lighthouse. Blurred some of the trees..especially those closest to the ocean where the wind would be blowing strongly.
Then I added more depth to the ocean water...reflecting the sky.

This would be great to do in watercolor!
carly
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/lighthousex.jpg" border=0>
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Old 11-09-2000, 01:18 PM
henrik henrik is offline
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Here is an option for you. Instead of extending hte trees to the right edge I removed some of the island.
Just an option.
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/tortugas-sketch-hl2.jpg" border=0>
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Old 11-09-2000, 01:20 PM
henrik henrik is offline
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yet one moe option where I removed more trees to make the island look even more desolate.
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/tortugas-sketch-hl1.jpg" border=0>

A problem with the original is that it is difficult to see if this is really a small island or connected to some mainland. i think that by extending the trees to the right the feeling of this being something else than an island is enhanced.

In this version you could probably loose the last tree on the right side too.


[This message has been edited by henrik (edited November 09, 2000).]
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Old 11-09-2000, 11:49 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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Florida
 
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I appreciate all of your comments - I understand what you are telling me and totally agree with you! I have so much to learn and the discovery process is exciting. Thanks so much for taking the time to look.

Henrik - it is a small island less than a mile long and few thousand feet wide - it's the main light in the Dry Tortugas if your curious.

Grace

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Old 11-10-2000, 12:23 AM
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tammy tammy is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by CHClements:


This would be great to do in watercolor!
carly
[IMG]
Ooh wouldn't it though Carly? I agree!




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Tammy "I MUST be an Artist, artist".

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