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  • September 5, 2019 at 3:59 pm #477740
    Perry
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        This is a small gouache painting of our hot water tank.
        I would appreciate a critique of my composition and
        design.
        Thanks

        September 6, 2019 at 11:30 am #876316
        bongo
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            Texture, shadow, depth, color, brush stroke, all very well handled. But imo are lost in the low saturation/low contrast treatment. I don’t know if that was your intention or just how the photo came out. I took the liberty to boost contrast and saturation to demonstrate what I mean.

            It is in the end a matter of taste. But whatever your taste you did an excellent job imo of rendering a “boring” subject in an interesting way.

            http://s3.amazonaws.com/wetcanvas-hdc/Community/images/18-Sep-2019/1999899-sigsmall.jpg
            STUDIOBONGO

            September 6, 2019 at 12:04 pm #876315
            lorianikins
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                You might have better luck getting feedback in the Open Critique forum.

                Since most of the painting uses muted colors, I think the bright white shape in the top left corner and the bright yellow/orange shape on the left are saying “Look at me! Look at me!” The greenish shape on the right makes sense … it’s a wall and a corner, right?

                But I’m not sure what’s happening on the left side; my brain is asking “what is that white shape? what is that yellow/orange shape? what happened to the wall?” (The wall clearly intersects with the floor on the right side, but not on the left. I assume a continuous wall behind the water heater, but based on the implied intersection with the floor, the wall on the right is farther away than the wall on the left, which doesn’t make sense.)

                It’s like 3/4 of the painting is realism, with 1/4 abstract, and it’s a little confusing for me personally.

                September 6, 2019 at 6:53 pm #876310
                Perry
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                    Thanks theBongolian for taking the time to comment on this.
                    It was my intention to have subtle color and contrast in this.
                    Similar to Giorgio Morandi. (photo attached)

                    It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I wanted to give it a try.
                    I do like your version better.

                    September 6, 2019 at 7:08 pm #876311
                    Perry
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                        Thanks for commenting lorianikins.
                        The orange thing is the side of a couch and
                        the bright area is a lit up area of the wall
                        ……I have it too light. I will darken it.

                        September 7, 2019 at 7:54 pm #876314
                        La_
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                            comp and colors are fine, but values are a bit soft … not everything needs to be high contrast, but i think with such a mundane/utilitarian subject matter it might be worth it to punch it up a bit.

                            what size canvas?

                            la

                            _____________________________________________
                            When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know Peace

                            September 9, 2019 at 8:50 pm #876312
                            Perry
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                                Thanks La, This 5″x7″ on watercolor paper.
                                I agree. I’m going to redo this one and post it again.

                                September 11, 2019 at 2:06 pm #876313
                                Perry
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                                    Here’s the revised version.

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