If the story is about the humans, and not the trees, then the human shapes should predominate. They do not do that in sketches 1 and 2.

For a “tense, frightening” emotion, the colors, values and edge conditions will need to be those which convey those emotions. And the facial expressions and postures of the figures will need to convey those emotions.

Don’t space all the figures and foreground trees equi-distant apart as in the third sketch.

sling paint,
Virgil

so far there’s no hint of what they might be afraid of … it appears they’re playing with balls in the woods and running happily toward someone.

less sunshine/more darkness, more mystery, with some clue of reason for caution/fear

la

This doesn’t directly relate to your image, but perhaps it might give you some ideas? One of the most popular Romantic era poems is Goethe’s Erlkönig [Wikipedia], which can be pretty terrifying if done right. See Jessye Norman’s performance of Schubert’s musical versionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=, for example. It still gives me chills….

Anyway, quite a few artists have painted versions of it, here’s a link to a google search on “erlkönig by goethe“. For me the ones that were best are the ones where the light and background forms actively add to the sense of doom.

Another interior – but not a chase scene – that is very foreboding is Degas’ Interior (aka the Rape)[wikipedia], with the room cast in gloom except for the light in the center, and the protagonists at opposite corners.

That one is often said to be based on Zola’s murder story, Thérèse Raquin.

The literary backgrounds to these makes me think that a good source of ideas or techniques for your work might be lie in illustrations to other frightening works, or works with frightening episodes? Like this one from an early edition of Treasure Island:

[from robert-louis-stevenson.org, The First Illustrations for Treasure Island[/URL]]

Many of the late 19th and early 20th Century illustrators were wonderful artists in their own right, and hence might provide some useful help!

Cheers;
Chris

You’re going to have to add an eagle scooping up a small mammal if you want it to be tense and frightening. Even if you darken the lighting, it will only suggest a walk through the park on a stormy day. Or at least a little girl looking mournfully at her balloon as it floats away out of reach.