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Old 10-23-2014, 04:17 PM
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Johannes Instructor Johannes Instructor is offline
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spenser
Johannes

I finished this painting about an hour before your Compositions from Photos class on Saturday, so I would like your thoughts on this painting. How would I fix the straight line of the curb? Are the telephone poles considered clones? Does the closest pole lead the eye out of the painting, or does the turret roof behind it, and the wires keep the viewer in? Is the sky getting too much empty real estate? (sky does have gradient colour that doesn't show much in the photo). Oh, and the ohhh so many triangles!

Is the painting unbalanced, with so much on the right and so little on the left?
I have a couple of others similar I want to paint, so would like to know what not to do. ( I have corrected the sidewalk that appears to be too high before disappearing behind the cars, but this photo was taken prior to that).
It is acrylic, 16x20. Thank you for any comments.


You did a good job with this painting. The way to slow down visual movements on straight lines is to a) match the value with the adjacent shapes and/or b) add broken pieces of concrete and grooves. If you study Mian Situ's work you will see he encounters this straight line issue quite often. Notice how he has little breaks in these lines.

I do not feel there is a balance problem because most of your painting is in Mid Value. What makes a painting tilt are the darks not the square inches of visual information, so the very fact that you have buildings on one side and not on the other does not make the painting lean. However had you put a real dark tree on the right then you would have a balance problem. An easy way to tell is convert your painting into a gray scale.
I do not feel the telephone poles are clones because their heights are dramatically different.
The only areas I feel you could improve:
1) The sky has too many square inches of monotonous repetition of space. Many square inches with no visual information shifts may result into boredom. If you are taking the live class this Saturday ask me in text to expound on this.
2) I feel the cast shadow of the line that runs across the street is a bullet train. That I would change for a cast shadow produced by a tree or a building in the immediate foreground. It would also help to establish a gradient plane and help convey a sense of depth.
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Last edited by Johannes Instructor : 10-23-2014 at 04:27 PM.
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Old 10-23-2014, 04:30 PM
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Johannes Instructor Johannes Instructor is offline
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Quote:
Originally Posted by suel404
Hi Johannes

I took your composition workshop last weekend and enjoyed it very much. I signed up for the paint along this weekend.

Anyway I had posted the Mohegan Sunset and you had commented that during your composition presentation. So I did the painting today, using panpastel for the first time on colorfix paper. See attached painting and original reference.

With panpastel, I found that it couldn't take too many layer and got saturated easily. So I ended up using the nupastel and soft pastel in addition. The sponge seems to break easily. Am I applying too much pressure or Colorfix is too rough?

Regarding the Mohegan Sunset, I changed the composition a bit by removing the tree at the lower left corner which I found distracting and I added the sunray to improve the mood, and also to make the large dark mass of the island more interesting. Besides I intend to have that point to be the focal point (lightest light against darkest dark). The secondary focal point are the clouds...

Regarding the water reflection, I added more color variation and also used darker values on the lower left and right corners, to create an entrance to lead the viewer in. I decided to use value change instead of adding another islands to create that path.

Anyway I hope I capture the gesture of the clouds and the in awe feeling of the sunset. I look forward to your critiques.

Thanks
Susan

You did a good job on the colors. I would've used this sky like you did but would've taken the bottom part from from another photo that is more interesting. Nothing says we must take everything, sky, trees water etc. all from the same reference. We should use several photos and combine the information.
In this case you had a great sky but the hill shape is not abstract enough. You could fine another photo with rocks and a crashing wave maybe and use that for the non sky area. I call this the "Frankenstein" assembly which was the result of several body parts.
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Old 10-23-2014, 04:33 PM
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Re: Farm Pond

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Originally Posted by harryfisherman
9 x 12 oil on board. What do you think Jo?.

Thanks

Harry

You simplify foliage quite well. That's all it needs. You are providing a visual path into the background. I would so something about the parallel lines from the pond.
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Old 10-23-2014, 04:37 PM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spenser
Johannes

Me again.
Here is another acrylic that I started after your compositions from photos class.
Shadow on the road isn't quite as blue as the photo shows. I used a 'Frankenstein' approach, having taken the photo myself of the spot, however, trees blocked the church so I borrowed the image of the very same church from Google street view, which showed it after the trees were bare, and drew it into the scene.
I would much appreciate a critique on this. Lately I am very motivated to paint , so I hope you don't mind my posting so often.
(Oh dear... after posting the photo, I realized I forgot to put the cross on the steeple. Must do that!)

Again many good things happening in this painting. I would make my sky holes look less humanly produced and create larger gaps but fewer holes.
Again if you request this in text on Saturday I can do a quick demo of what I am referring to. Turn your painting upside down. Do you feel there is an implied "V" shape formed by the sky and the trees?
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Old 10-23-2014, 09:14 PM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

thanks for taking the time to comment!
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Old 10-23-2014, 10:09 PM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Thank you, Johannes, for your comments on both of my paintings. I understand what you said, and will correct the problem areas. Yes, I do see the v or bowl shape in with the sky and trees. I also have a problem with sky holes, I don't know why as they should be easy but mine never look right.
I will register for the upcoming class on Saturday and will send a text to you, as you recommended.
Thanks so much again!
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Old 10-25-2014, 09:14 AM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Johannes,
I did some work on the v shape to try to lessen it, by reshaping the tree line somewhat and adding faint clouds. I thought it was better until I stood back and I still see a bowl shape. I also tried to get sky gaps, rather than holes.

Below shows a detail of the area, I don't know if I could do any more to the tree line that would't look odd?
I also added a few lavender flowers along the right grass in the foreground, just to have something there besides green.



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Old 10-25-2014, 10:16 AM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spenser
Johannes,
I did some work on the v shape to try to lessen it, by reshaping the tree line somewhat and adding faint clouds. I thought it was better until I stood back and I still see a bowl shape. I also tried to get sky gaps, rather than holes.

Below shows a detail of the area, I don't know if I could do any more to the tree line that would't look odd?
I also added a few lavender flowers along the right grass in the foreground, just to have something there besides green.



It did improve.
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Old 10-27-2014, 04:35 PM
suel404 suel404 is offline
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Hi Johannes

I did a Frankenstein composition for my daughter's portrait called First Christmas. What do you think? I was worried the mistletoe is taking away from the face so I darken the value and also add the snowflakes to merge into the background. Also I tried not to have too hard edges especially the rest of the painting has relatively soft edges.

What do you think of the snow background? I hope it is not distracting but adds to the Christmas mood and the magical/dreamy feeling that I want to convey, as a first Christmas for my 6 month old daughter.

Challenge of the Frankenstein composition is you don't know how the light goes and shadows, and how to fit in well into the composition without compromising values and perspective etc...

Attached is the reference photo.

Look forward to your feedback.

Thanks
Susan
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Old 10-27-2014, 09:42 PM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Quote:
Originally Posted by suel404
Hi Johannes

I did a Frankenstein composition for my daughter's portrait called First Christmas. What do you think? I was worried the mistletoe is taking away from the face so I darken the value and also add the snowflakes to merge into the background. Also I tried not to have too hard edges especially the rest of the painting has relatively soft edges.

What do you think of the snow background? I hope it is not distracting but adds to the Christmas mood and the magical/dreamy feeling that I want to convey, as a first Christmas for my 6 month old daughter.

Challenge of the Frankenstein composition is you don't know how the light goes and shadows, and how to fit in well into the composition without compromising values and perspective etc...

Attached is the reference photo.

Look forward to your feedback.

Thanks
Susan
Now this is what I am talking about. You used the mannequin from the photo but added your own clothes and made a much better background. A winner painting indeed!
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Old 10-28-2014, 01:49 AM
suel404 suel404 is offline
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Hi Johannes

Thank you for your comments regarding my First Christmas pastel painting. I am very glad to have taken your composition class (my first time)--it has very helpful tips and gave me encouragement to try more Frankenstein composition. I look forward to more of your classes.

Thanks
Susan
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Old 10-29-2014, 01:07 AM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Well done Sue a lovely study
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Old 10-31-2014, 01:18 AM
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Re: Johannes - Student Critique Posts Only

Hi Johannes

I did a foliage painting today (first draft) in panpastel with some stick pastel on pastelmat. However, it bothers me. Maybe it is the tree line behind that is too regular (not interesting enough melodic line) and that the trees are too yellow and bright, which needs to add more blue and blurred??

Any suggestions in how I can improve. I feel that it doesn't have enough depth..

Thanks
Susan
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