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You did exactly as I did in my first trials making hair :)… To draw hair you should layer it down to create the texture.As a first approach is good what you did, but it looks like a drawing.
You could use it as a deeper exercise: I would work over it by smudging the graphite and giving a general tone. Then add more tones by adding layers (coloring) slightly the hair following shapes and direction of the hair. Then you erase the highlights, and re-layer the dark, and repeat…smudge,color,highlights, darks… you’ll see it looks more realistic.Federico Garcia
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"...when someone gives a critique of your work, fear not. It usually means they like or care more of your work than when they just pat your back." - Tiago
I agree with Federico … what you did definitely has texture but realism is a tad further. As a rule of thumb, never leave bare paper showing through any texture because it will make the subject look transparent or translucent. Instead cover everything with at least a light gray value – more as needed for darker values. Then, as he said, use an eraser to give highlights and then replace the light values where the paper shows. In this way you can draw something like a white animal on white paper or a fuller hair rendition.
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