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Old 11-01-2018, 07:50 PM
DavidOToole DavidOToole is offline
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Smile View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike

MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/u...e-9d-FINAL.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Year Created: 2018
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Watercolor Paper
Dimension: 24x18
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This landscape is inspired by scenes along the Pennsylvania Tupike which I have traveled many times. It is made with a combination of Sakura Koi watercolors, Winsor and Newton acrylics, and watercolor pencils from Derwent, in a mixed-media application on an 18x24" sheet of Strathmore watercolor paper.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Anything you want to say is fair game, but I'm most interested in feedback on two aspects of the painting: composition and brushwork/texture.
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Old 11-01-2018, 09:50 PM
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

Can you upload the actual image so we don't have to click to another site?
And the WC link is broken..
It is much easier to crit when the image is showing in the thread..


What style are you going for? realism, impressionistic, etc?
How long have you been painting?
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Last edited by ~JMW~ : 11-01-2018 at 09:54 PM.
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:16 PM
DavidOToole DavidOToole is offline
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

I'm sorry, I don't know why the image link is broken. I thought I had uploaded it correctly. Here is the inline image.
I will answer your other questions shortly.
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:26 PM
DavidOToole DavidOToole is offline
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~JMW~
What style are you going for? realism, impressionistic, etc?
How long have you been painting?

I'm interested in a non-realistic style. For this painting I wanted to pair naturalistic hues with exaggerated atmospheric perspective and a degree of abstraction of form. I have been painting in various media since 2012 but have been working more from 2016 on.
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:34 PM
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

You have nice variations in the grass areas..
Overall the values are nearly all the same strength- Colors would lighter & muted to show distance. softer edges to show distance.
The brush lines in the sky are a distraction .
The 2 most noticeable buildings could have some shadows & some more shading.
Light direction? helps for highlights & shadows..
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Old 11-02-2018, 12:32 AM
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

JMw's wise, listen to him

i'm kinda wise so listen to me too

i like the comp, it's busy without being too busy, has good depth, especially in the foreground left leading us down to the creek. i like the short streaky brushstrokes of the oranges and ochres carving the hills and the variations in the greens.

bothersome bits are the super dark outline on the left of the large tree on the left ... the flat, white houses ... the teal and too blue too long sweeping brushstroked distant hills and the overly quick/streaky sky.

a little more time on this and you'll have yourself a pretty decent piece, keep going.

greyscale attached to give you a view of the value similarities that j mentioned.

la
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Old 11-02-2018, 10:25 AM
DavidOToole DavidOToole is offline
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

Thanks so much for your help, folks
I will consider making some changes to improve the painting based on suggestions here.
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Old 11-03-2018, 11:43 AM
DavidOToole DavidOToole is offline
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

I lightened the distant mountain and touched up the areas just below that. I also corrected the over-dark tree border at far left and added shadows for the houses. I'll see about the sky, i might want to paint it upside-down.
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Old 11-03-2018, 11:28 PM
DavidOToole DavidOToole is offline
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

Now I believe the sky is the last issue to take care of. here is the painting as it stands.
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Old 11-07-2018, 07:49 AM
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Re: View from the Pennsylvania Turnpike [PLEASE MOVE TO STRUCTURED CRITIQUE]

I think your off to a good start. Its great to push yourself and also to try mixed media and techniques and I commend you for that. Overall the image is not bad. There are several areas however that you could work on improving so lets have a look .

The first thing that strikes me is the fundamentals are not quite there yet. That is your application of and understanding of perspective, light, composition, values,etc. Thats ok. There is a lot to learn and we all start somewhere.
Now I am sure there can be an argument in here that these things don't apply when you are abstracting and throwing paint on canvas or whatever, or the fact you said yourself you were trying to do a non-realistic style .

However looking at what you wanted to attempt, versus what you achieved, I cant say that you have done that.

Your perspective is not there. There is a problem with scale of elements across the picture. The fence on the left for example recedes rapidly into the background but abruptly stops leading us to a 2d flat building that is just simply there. Its looking like its built into the hill. Its hard to gauge how big trees are as some look like they are hundreds of feet high based on what perspective clues are there versus tiny hedges. I think you should learn your perspective first. Its not that difficult. Its boring but not difficult.

Values value value. I see you tried to lighten the background. Its an improvement for sure, but overall the value structure is simply not there. If you view your image in Black/White you will see it. I have attached a basic tutorial for you to try and help you understand what value means. I highly suggest you take the time to study this too.




While you dont have to have a degree in physics,having a basic understanding of light and atmosphere and how and why things appear as they do to our eye, will help you so much. If you have the time read up on the Rayleigh effect and how and why light scatters,etc. This is the stuff that you can apply to your artwork. As you can hopefully see in my examples above, i have applied basic principles of atmospheric perspective to the 2 very simple images. Those images are the same size as your own work, and the should both read alot more easier than your own. Your values are causing detail to get lost in the image.

Colour is important in setting mood, but Values and Shape come first always. If you lost the ability to see in colour you could easily navigate the world in black and white. That's why value is important. The human brain is hardwired to see shape and value difference first.


According to you "I wanted to pair naturalistic hues with exaggerated atmospheric perspective and a degree of abstraction of form". There is very little in the way of atmospheric perspective right now, and nothing that could be considered as exaggerated.

I am not seeing abstraction of form either. What is it exactly that you are trying to abstract?

Abstraction is great. Its what pays my bills at the end of the day, but I don't feel looking at your work that you know what this means. Its more of a fancy buzzword. Thats not to say you cant or shouldent try to abstract or create something thats out there. if at the end of the day it makes you happy and brings you joy, then by all means.
I have seen some amazing professional work that's abstracted landscapes and while they are abstracted they all stick to the fundamentals. To a professional trained artist, someone who knows what they are doing versus someone who is just learning stands out a mile away.

One of my favorite artists and someone I have done studies from can be found here http://www.christensenstudio.com/Art...&AKey=72569C3T
Study the masters, people who inspire you. Look at this guys work in black and white. See how he keeps it loose and abstracted to a degree but yet has all the fundamentals there?

But if you want to learn, as indicated by your desire to have this as a structured critique then you should spend more time on the fundamentals.
At the end of the day, if you do that, your realistic,non-realistic, or whatever style you choose will be far stronger and more impactful.

Composition is something that goes hand in hand with values, but if I can offer a piece of advice to help you out here it would be to read up on the rule of thirds. Learn the rules, understand the rules, work to the rules and then break them to your hearts content. When you know what your doing you can do anything.

Anyway, I dont want to ramble on for days. i think there is enough there for you to consider. You are making good progress. Keep at it, and don't be discouraged. We live in a wonderful age of information where the sum of our civilizations knowledge is at your fingertips.Use it to make you a better artist. Enjoy the process. Never get stressed doing what you enjoy, and in the language of bob Ross, go paint some happy little trees and mountains.
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