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Old 05-01-2019, 07:47 AM
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JohnWallie JohnWallie is offline
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Jonah [WIP]

Hello, everyone.
I've been working on this magazine collage of Jonah and I'm not sure why exactly but it doesn't seem to be turning out quite to my liking. Very open to critique and suggestions. Let me know whatever you can see that looks wrong. (Sorry for the light glare in the top left)





-John
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:31 AM
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Cyndi L Cyndi L is offline
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Re: Jonah [WIP]

I think it's really fantastic. I'm going to make a suggestion, but I don't want you to think that I'm saying it's "wrong" the way it is. I would try softening the sharp line around Jonah, having collage pieces overlap in an irregular way so that he is more veiled and less graphic. Or maybe even just smudge over and lighten up the dark outline? On the other hand, if you are going for the graphic contrast, just ignore me!
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Old 05-01-2019, 12:29 PM
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KreativeK KreativeK is offline
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Re: Jonah [WIP]

My eye zeroed in on the circle that has Jonah in it. Avoid using circles or square shapes as they are not interesting and capture a viewer's eye when they shouldn't. At least have a small piece of paper that's light in value covering a part of the circle edge. Agree with Cyndi's idea to make the figure more veiled. After all he was in the belly of the whale so would not be seen in entirety. Just my 2 cents observation. Love your collages!
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:08 PM
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JohnWallie JohnWallie is offline
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Re: Jonah [WIP]

Thank you for the feedback Cyndi and Kay! I originally set out for a rougher outline around Jonah but somehow that completely left my mind as I went along. I think that is definitely the main issue with this right now.

Thanks again.
It is great to be able to come here for objective analysis. When I work on pieces for a while sometimes it's hard to see exactly where things are off. I should probably post a lot more often.
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Old 05-02-2019, 09:04 AM
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Cyndi L Cyndi L is offline
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Re: Jonah [WIP]

"It is great to be able to come here for objective analysis. When I work on pieces for a while sometimes it's hard to see exactly where things are off. I should probably post a lot more often."

I know exactly what you mean! It's hard to be objective after awhile, and sometimes I find that I get married to an idea when I really shouldn't.
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Old 05-03-2019, 08:55 AM
PaulsArt PaulsArt is offline
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Re: Jonah [WIP]

I like it quite well. I do wonder if the whale's eye should be emphasized a bit more though? Maybe a small highlight in the eye to make it stand out more?
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