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Old 01-07-2018, 01:27 AM
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thevaliantx thevaliantx is offline
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My wife asked me this question

Off and on here I've hinted at thoughts of transitioning to female. Questioning myself had nothing to do with whether I "felt woman enough" or that it was some fad I was taking up, but rather the constant weighing what I might lose versus the obvious benefits of me moving forward with my life. Tonight my wife asked me why so many transsexuals commit suicide. Maybe she asked me that because I've suggested suicide might be the best thing for everyone involved if I went through it, considering the troubles of having me around. Anyway, my answer to her question was ... I think ... that trans folk commit suicide because either they're not accepted by people closest to them (or their co-workers) or because for one reason or another they are unable to go on HRT. It could be because of finances (HRT is expensive for someone without a job) or health (bloodwork suggests hightened risks for blood clots or heart attacks for that individual). What are your thoughts on this? There is no debating that the trans community loses a lot of its members ever year.
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Old 01-07-2018, 03:56 AM
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La_ La_ is offline
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Re: My wife asked me this question

well, that's some deep questions your asking.
i don't think anyone can truly answer them except you and those closest to you.

so i can only pose question back to you to help you to ponder your possibilities. [please feel no obligation to answer publicly].

what would be your best case scenario after fully transitioning?
and your worst?

if you simply cannot afford full transition, can you find an outlet where you're able to take on the role temporarily [or full time] to embrace what you can of it.

are you able to speak with a therapist? friends who have transitioned?

confidence, or lack there of, and acceptance, or lack there of, of course are contributing factors in suicides.

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Old 01-07-2018, 10:00 AM
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laf.art laf.art is online now
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Re: My wife asked me this question

I can only suggest, having known a few trans people that maybe lonliness is a reason for suicide, that seems to have been the overriding feeling for the few that I've known personally that and non acceptance by family. I had a friend years ago in England who transitioned and he had to live and work as a woman for 2 years before the medical profession would consider helping him further. Now he had been working as a builder before taking the (brave) decision to transition and the job centre gave him work in an office. As you can imagine it was such a hard thing for him to have to do.I have another friend who is a teacher and she has had a lot easier time of transitioning to a male, acceptance is such a huge help. Good luck with whatever road you choose.

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Old 01-07-2018, 11:32 AM
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Katie Black Katie Black is offline
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Re: My wife asked me this question

From what I have gathered from your posts you have support from loved ones around you. That is crucial, the key I think to surviving such a life-changing decision.

I think that trans folk commit suicide because they feel isolated and alone. It is not an easy path that most people would voluntarily tread. Not only that, finding work must be very difficult too and I believe without that people lose their way.
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Old 01-08-2018, 02:11 PM
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Andrew Andrew is offline
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Re: My wife asked me this question

I would hazard a guess that it is feelings of isolation or depression from being misunderstood or abused. But that would be a merely a guess. I have no frame of reference and I don't, admittedly, understand it.

I understand homosexuality and bisexuality from a social and biological perspective, and have known, lived and worked with individuals that fit into those "categories", for lack of of better term at the moment. Which is why I also accept the vast majority of so-called facts tossed about homosexuals and bisexuals to be absolute rubbish.

The closest I can come to trans was a co-worker I had a lifetime ago who was hermaphroditic. He chose, surgically to be male, but was still somewhat feminine looking, and he was teased and heckled for years.

"Never ascribe to malice what adequately can be explained as stupidity"-- Robert J. Hanlon

“What a genius, that Picasso. It is a pity he doesn't paint.” - Marc Chagall
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Old 01-08-2018, 08:29 PM
DaveCrow DaveCrow is offline
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Re: My wife asked me this question

From my own times of feeling suicidal a lot of it comes from the feeling that there is no place for you and that the world would be better off without you.

I can only imagine that such feelings are much worse for trans folk given the social stigma.
"Let the paint be paint" --John Marin
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Old 01-10-2018, 11:11 PM
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bvanevery bvanevery is offline
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Re: My wife asked me this question

Knew a guy on a mailing list who became a gal. Never met him or her in person. I think all of us "old hands" on the mailing list did a pretty good job with the name change, using the right name. We didn't speak of what happened or call attention to it in any way. So in at least 1 virtual community, it was "not a big deal" to us, to do what was expected / the decent thing to do. I could only wish that people face-to-face would have the same moral standard in society.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:04 AM
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Keith Russell Keith Russell is offline
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Lenexa, Kansas, USA
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Re: My wife asked me this question

I have several trans friends, in person, in real-time. Fortunately, I've lost none of them to suicide.

But, suicide isn't something I've discussed with them...maybe I should...
Forcing the waveform to collapse for sixteen years...
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Old 01-21-2018, 02:07 PM
Brittaya Brittaya is offline
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Re: My wife asked me this question

Fellow trans (non binary) person here, who has somewhat transitioned publicly. It doesn't have to be all horrible. If you surround yourself with understanding people, and friends who are also trans/non binary you build up a support network and you don't have to feel so alone. Try looking for local groups for trans people or find online forums where you can speak to others going through the same thing. It doesn't have to be isolating at all times. You can do this. Also, being yourself can be incredibly freeing in my experience. Transitioning can be a tough decision, I wish you all the very best, whichever decision you decide to make.
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