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Old 12-31-2017, 07:25 PM
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sonihal sonihal is offline
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Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Hello,

A bit about me, I posted here few years back.

I enjoy painting as stress-relief. I get stressed a lot.

Plus, painting helps me to start conversations with people. Otherwise I am shy, socially awkward, and more often than not, attract the bad crowd.

Recently I started painting at my office lunch area to try to open myself to positive people and so far got positive comments.

Even the big big big boss looked while I was painting and said it was lovely.


One person suggested I paint something (Hindu God Lord Krishna playing Flute) next and to be friendly I said that is what I was planning to do (I wasn't planning to do it but I thought since it is a Hindu God, and many family members and acquaintances are Hindu, why not)

Another person said can you paint my 2-year old and I said yes, I will try. He was surprised that I even agreed. He said he'd find a picture.

I am happy some people seem to appreciate my artwork, and I'm willing to try painting new things I have yet to considered.

While I enjoy painting (especially to relieve stress), my concern is that someone may take undue advantage and request I paint something even though I don't feel like it. Then I will have an awkward time backing down.

1. How to avoid this situation
2. How to politely decline


And painting in the company mess hall is most suitable for me, plus I don't want to keep hiding from people.


By the way, below is my latest painting, used Mungyos Gallery Soft Oil Pastel on Strathmore Bristol paper 14" by 11"

Thank you


Last edited by sonihal : 12-31-2017 at 07:30 PM.
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Old 01-01-2018, 12:19 AM
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tuscanny tuscanny is online now
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Beautiful, Sonihall!
Be sure to get good photos to work from!
Decide what subjects you want to paint and just explain that you don't paint certain subjects.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:39 AM
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sonihal sonihal is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by tuscanny
Beautiful, Sonihall!
Be sure to get good photos to work from!
Decide what subjects you want to paint and just explain that you don't paint certain subjects.


Thank you so much Christel.

That's a great idea. Already I gravitate towards India, particularly culture and history. And even that is so vast with different traditions, ethnicities and religions.

That is great way to set firm boundaries henceforth.

Happy New Year!
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Old 01-01-2018, 03:28 PM
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raizes raizes is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Hi sonihal. Do you live in India?

I like your painting and your story...and I think many of us agree that painting is an outlet to express, center oneself and balance energies that we have inside.

Hope to see more from you, and Happy New Year!
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Old 01-01-2018, 03:43 PM
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~JMW~ ~JMW~ is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

I would ask to see any reference photos first, before agreeing you will paint them..
Sometimes you get really bad photos and hard to work from those..
Even ask for a multiple photos to work from..
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Old 01-01-2018, 06:54 PM
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terriks terriks is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Hi sonihal - your painting is lovely, and I understand why people are drawn to your work.

You may just be one of those folks who feels uncomfortable saying "No" to people, as if it makes you seem rude. It's certainly a virtue to be polite and respectful of others, but that shouldn't make you feel you HAVE to say "Yes" to every request.

I do understand your conundrum - you like to paint in the mess hall and let yourself be more open to people. But that leads right to people coming up and making requests of you that turns something pleasant into something awkward for you. What to do?

Christel had a good suggestion to just tell people there are certain subjects you don't paint. You shouldn't feel compelled to explain yourself past that (even though I understand that feeling very well!). I'm betting that after you've simply stated that a couple of times, it will become easier and easier to say it. It could help you overall not accept a subject that you're really not interested in.

Consider another tactic. A lot of us use our art as stress relief and aren't trying to make sales or build up clients - and if that's where your head is, too, you might also simply say you appreciate the offer, but you're not accepting commissions at this time. It sounds professional and matter of fact - and you could reach a point where you might feel differently one day.

Hope this helps. I'd like to see more of your work here! I use those same Mungyos and have that Strathmore Bristol paper - they're a nice combination!
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:01 PM
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sonihal sonihal is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by raizes
Hi sonihal. Do you live in India?

I like your painting and your story...and I think many of us agree that painting is an outlet to express, center oneself and balance energies that we have inside.

Hope to see more from you, and Happy New Year!


Hello Rich,

I am in USA, family is from India. So drawn to the colorful (literally and figuratively) history and culture.

Happy New Year!
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:03 PM
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sonihal sonihal is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~JMW~
I would ask to see any reference photos first, before agreeing you will paint them..
Sometimes you get really bad photos and hard to work from those..
Even ask for a multiple photos to work from..


Oh that's a great idea. If there's a subject I'd be agreeable to paint I'll ask for several photos.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:12 PM
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sonihal sonihal is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by terriks
Hi sonihal - your painting is lovely, and I understand why people are drawn to your work.

You may just be one of those folks who feels uncomfortable saying "No" to people, as if it makes you seem rude. It's certainly a virtue to be polite and respectful of others, but that shouldn't make you feel you HAVE to say "Yes" to every request.

I do understand your conundrum - you like to paint in the mess hall and let yourself be more open to people. But that leads right to people coming up and making requests of you that turns something pleasant into something awkward for you. What to do?

Christel had a good suggestion to just tell people there are certain subjects you don't paint. You shouldn't feel compelled to explain yourself past that (even though I understand that feeling very well!). I'm betting that after you've simply stated that a couple of times, it will become easier and easier to say it. It could help you overall not accept a subject that you're really not interested in.

Consider another tactic. A lot of us use our art as stress relief and aren't trying to make sales or build up clients - and if that's where your head is, too, you might also simply say you appreciate the offer, but you're not accepting commissions at this time. It sounds professional and matter of fact - and you could reach a point where you might feel differently one day.

Hope this helps. I'd like to see more of your work here! I use those same Mungyos and have that Strathmore Bristol paper - they're a nice combination!

Hello Terri,

You are absolutely right. Absolutely. I feel cornered when I have to say no. Will be polite and professional as possible. Time for painting is limited to one lunch-hour, 5 days a week.

Now that I said yes to person who wished for painting of 2-year old son, if he brings it up, I'll say I'm very flattered and will do my best considering time constraints, plus it is out of scope of subjects I usually choose.

I said yes because I was flattered and to build workplace camaraderie, especially since I'll be collaborating with him and his team members next few months.

This is really great advice for gently saying no.

And I will be more than happy to share my artwork here. Mungyos is an awesome medium to work with!
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Old 01-02-2018, 11:38 AM
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terriks terriks is offline
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Re: Painting and Interpersonal Relationships

Hi Sonihal, I'm glad anything I said was helpful. I am looking forward to seeing more of your work here. Keep having fun with it!
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