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Old 09-26-2017, 03:10 AM
onestrokeartist onestrokeartist is offline
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Why should I care what you think

Ok, so I don't know if anyone else has experienced this...becoming obsessed over people liking a painting of mine. Usually, I'm ok if my family, friends, or members here on this website do not like or do not make any comment about my paintings. Anyways, one of my paintings I think is really good and it bugs me that people don't feel the same way as I do about it. I'm not trying to be conceited here because I am not a conceited person really. This is so weird because generally I can live with the critiques or no comments. This time it really bugs me that people (really , family and friends) are not loving my painting. This is the first time I have ever felt this way and I have been painting since 2004. Why is it so important to me what anyone thinks of the painting? Actually if I had not shown it to anyone for their comments, I would be much happier!
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Old 09-26-2017, 03:20 AM
selectedgrub selectedgrub is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

Reverse the bus.
Why does everyone like the one I hate.
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Old 09-26-2017, 04:02 AM
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maryinasia maryinasia is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

perhaps you have personally invested something special in this one?

I remember years ago giving my dad a painting I was proud of...it was a struggle to paint, with an aha moment halfway through...to me it represented all the walks I took with him on the farm he loved. He preferred my painting of his cat watching TV.
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Old 09-26-2017, 11:37 AM
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Katie Black Katie Black is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

I would love to see this painting lol!

Seriously, asking non-painters what they think of your artwork is often a recipe for disaster. I used to ask my gardener what he thought of my work and he would roll his eyes which made me laugh!! Although I have stopped asking him now because even from my gardener I don't need that kind of critique

The main thing is that you know you have produced something special, even if they don't. I know when I have produced something special too, and I don't need anyone else to confirm that for me.

Painting is the one thing in life that I feel confident about. I feel like I know when something is good, bad, or indifferent, and I think most other artists know that instinctively about their own work.

So, my friend, fear not, and know that you have painted something special.
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Old 09-26-2017, 12:31 PM
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Re: Why should I care what you think

taste in art is a bizarre thing - i've learned not to predict it, not to trust it, not to expect Anything from it. i've seen 'beautiful' pieces displayed again and again without selling - and pretty 'horrid' pieces sell. art is definitely Not a universal language that everyone understands.
this piece you Love, keep it, it obviously speaks to you, for whatever reasons. for g'ness sake, Don't hide it in a closet and Never apologize for liking something that others don't.

la
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Old 09-26-2017, 01:46 PM
BeLing BeLing is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

You care, of course you do, because painting is a form of communication.

I used to think otherwise, but I've changed my mind, partly from what I've learned on this forum.

So yes, communication needs an audience. Unfortunately, sometimes the only one there who approves is yourself; but Your Self counts! In fact, it probably counts more than anyone else, unless you have a mentor under whom you are a loyal subordinate.

The worst thing to do, and maybe the hardest, is to resist changing your work, against your inclinations, just to please other people. I don't mean adjusting a friend's puppy portrait to please his owner; I mean in your serious work. Be strong, and carry on.
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Old 09-26-2017, 02:07 PM
onestrokeartist onestrokeartist is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

Quote:
Originally Posted by selectedgrub
Reverse the bus.
Why does everyone like the one I hate.

True. I have a little painting of a flower and two butterflies which I was actually going to toss away. My husband loves it and so did my friends.
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Old 09-26-2017, 02:26 PM
onestrokeartist onestrokeartist is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

Quote:
Originally Posted by maryinasia
perhaps you have personally invested something special in this one?

I remember years ago giving my dad a painting I was proud of...it was a struggle to paint, with an aha moment halfway through...to me it represented all the walks I took with him on the farm he loved. He preferred my painting of his cat watching TV.

Yes, I could see you being disappointed that your dad preferred the cat painting. But no, I wasn't painting it for someone special. But, you reminded me why I want my painting to be appreciated, so thank you. I should have put this is my original message. I think my painting skills have improved quite a bit since I have started taking a painting course online. I guess I want everyone to say that " Wow, what a difference in your painting skills, what an improvement!"
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Old 09-26-2017, 02:46 PM
onestrokeartist onestrokeartist is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie Black
I would love to see this painting lol!

Seriously, asking non-painters what they think of your artwork is often a recipe for disaster. I used to ask my gardener what he thought of my work and he would roll his eyes which made me laugh!! Although I have stopped asking him now because even from my gardener I don't need that kind of critique

The main thing is that you know you have produced something special, even if they don't. I know when I have produced something special too, and I don't need anyone else to confirm that for me.

Painting is the one thing in life that I feel confident about. artists know that instinctively about their own work.

So, my friend, fear not, and know that you have painted something special.

Yes, you are right, I too " feel like I know when something is good, bad, or indifferent " but in all of my painting years, it seemed that family and friends and also artists on this site agreed with me when I thought it was bad or good. First time for me where I think a painting is quite good, and others don't. Oh, well, there is a first time for anything. And you're right....at least I know I have painted something special.
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Old 09-26-2017, 02:58 PM
onestrokeartist onestrokeartist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by La_
taste in art is a bizarre thing - i've learned not to predict it, not to trust it, not to expect Anything from it. i've seen 'beautiful' pieces displayed again and again without selling - and pretty 'horrid' pieces sell. art is definitely Not a universal language that everyone understands.
this piece you Love, keep it, it obviously speaks to you, for whatever reasons. for g'ness sake, Don't hide it in a closet and Never apologize for liking something that others don't.

la

Thank you for your comments.

Somehow selling to the public, yes, I can understand all sorts of opinions. I think it is when usually my family or friends are on the same page as myself with respect to my painting. When I think it is bad, they think it is bad. When I think it is good, they think it is good. When I think it is so-so, they think it is so-so. This is just the first painting that I have done where we are not on the same page. And yes, I still love my painting, regardless of what anyone says. I guess another thing that drives me crazy is that I spend days on this painting and another one that I did in about an hour, everyone loves.
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Old 09-26-2017, 03:10 PM
onestrokeartist onestrokeartist is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeLing
You care, of course you do, because painting is a form of communication.

I used to think otherwise, but I've changed my mind, partly from what I've learned on this forum.

So yes, communication needs an audience. Unfortunately, sometimes the only one there who approves is yourself; but Your Self counts! In fact, it probably counts more than anyone else, unless you have a mentor under whom you are a loyal subordinate.

The worst thing to do, and maybe the hardest, is to resist changing your work, against your inclinations, just to please other people. I don't mean adjusting a friend's puppy portrait to please his owner; I mean in your serious work. Be strong, and carry on.

Thank you for your comments. I missed mentioning in my original post that I think I have quite improved in my painting skills after taking a painting course online. I guess I want everyone that I know and don't know to say, " Wow, what an improvement! You really did that?" I know that sounds pathetic...
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Old 09-26-2017, 11:36 PM
theBongolian theBongolian is online now
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Re: Why should I care what you think

I don't CARE what people think - but I want to KNOW what people think. I want opinions, suggestions, observations - data I can use to make progress in my work. We turn paintings upside down, look at them in mirrors, all to get a fresh perspective. That is how I take comments - as a chance to view my work from another angle.

But I don't (or at least try not to) put an emotional value judgment on opinions. Or to be more accurate - wait until my reflexive visceral response fades before I consider the usefulness of a comment.

REMEMBER when you finish a painting you're coming from days, weeks, even years of wrestling with a certain concept, the viewer is coming from lunch. So a certain disparity in perceptions is understandable.
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Old 09-27-2017, 12:38 AM
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brianvds brianvds is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie Black
Seriously, asking non-painters what they think of your artwork is often a recipe for disaster.

Yup. There are two groups of people whose opinions I take seriously. One is other artists, particularly ones who are clearly better than I am and from whom I can learn something. The other is people who fork out money for art. The rest of them I just edit out, a la these scenes from Frasier:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MqQcOEVxmE

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Old 09-27-2017, 12:41 AM
theBongolian theBongolian is online now
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Re: Why should I care what you think

OneStroke, - I'm off my soapbox now and I think I can help you more directly with your situation.

I too went thru something similar - family and friends following my work, their opinions pretty much matching my opinions.

But slowly things changed - and they didn't notice how I had "improved" and the I-LOVE-IT, became i-like-it became- nice-.

What happened, and happens to most I think is that you outgrow your family and friends understanding and appreciation for art. They are the accountants, grocery clerks, IT specialists, housewives, etc. - YOU are the artist. Art is your specialty, NOT theirs. They may like art, but they are not as knowledgeable, or excited about it as you.

Give them a break, they should not expect you to get excited or understand a new inventory control program at I.C.B. incorporated where Bill just got promoted to executive vice assistant whatnot. And you should not expect them to know (or frankly care that much) how you have switched to a split palette, are using more glazes and grisaille underpainting.

It's all good.
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Old 09-27-2017, 09:37 AM
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KreativeK KreativeK is offline
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Re: Why should I care what you think

It does seem like a paradox. If I like one of mine a lot, no one else does and vice versa. All of us have pretty much experienced the same and ran the gamut.

We wish you could or would post the one you are talking about.
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