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Old 11-13-2016, 11:56 AM
AllisonR AllisonR is offline
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Comp 1 or 2

I think the first tells a better story, but I think the composition is weak. I can't seem to get it to work well. Maybe simpler is better?

Which composition works, or do you have another idea I haven't thought of?





PS - ignore the actual values, colors... these are just rough photoshop comps, the painting will be made from the actual still life setup, not photos.
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Old 11-13-2016, 12:19 PM
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Yorky Yorky is offline
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Re: Comp 1 or 2

Definitely 2 - you don't need the mask to distract you.

Doug
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Old 11-13-2016, 05:25 PM
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virgil carter virgil carter is online now
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Re: Comp 1 or 2

Without knowing your intent, I agree--the mask confuses the story about the floral subject and seems unnecessary to me, as a casual observer.

Better than the second composition, IMO, would be one where the bottom of the bottle, cork and tag are omitted, where the flowers become dominant on the page and in an off-center position.

There must be a story being told in both compositions, but they both are fragmented enough with a variety of subject matter as to make the story unclear.

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Virgil
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Old 11-13-2016, 10:29 PM
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Terry 904 Terry 904 is offline
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Re: Comp 1 or 2

I disagree, in my view 2 is a flat still life, another simple of a bunch of flowers on a dark background.

Whereas 1 has fullness about it, an altogether complete composition for very little added complexity. The hung head provides the upward continuity of the wall from the lifted? delineation at bottom, and much more importantly continues the depth at top that the light at bottom produces. The synergy distributes peerless depth into and thoughout the composition from an otherwise difficult position, ie that dark background with only light at bottom in aid.

I see 1 as a polished composition, and 2 as pretty ordinary, no matter how well otherwise excecuted. (Within reason). But then I'm no expert, this is just the way I see it.

Terry

Last edited by Terry 904 : 11-13-2016 at 10:39 PM.
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Old 11-19-2016, 01:52 AM
Johndk Johndk is offline
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Re: Comp 1 or 2

I love the mask and hanging rope....and the weird grin. And, its colour against your background could really be interesting lost/found ....but compositionally should engage somehow just behind the glass....could partially be seen through it ...distorted. Then would loose the cork etc..and have a fallen petal withering at bottom drawing eye into picture....indicating life expired. Lol
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Old 11-25-2016, 10:18 AM
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mbeckett mbeckett is offline
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Re: Comp 1 or 2

wow... that head in a noose is a subject unto itself, but a complete distraction in the first composition.. don't go there lol!

i think the second is much better. i like the long crop that accentuates the gracefulness of the flowers and vase. the off center placement adds interest as well. i like the tag and cork there. the only comment i have is that the layout of the tag and cork point to the bottom right corner and take the eye out of the pic. try turning the tag 90 degrees to block the eye from leaving instead.
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Old 11-25-2016, 03:08 PM
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Attalus Attalus is offline
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Re: Comp 1 or 2

Quote:
Originally Posted by mbeckett
wow... that head in a noose is a subject unto itself, but a complete distraction in the first composition.. don't go there lol!

i think the second is much better. i like the long crop that accentuates the gracefulness of the flowers and vase. the off center placement adds interest as well. i like the tag and cork there. the only comment i have is that the layout of the tag and cork point to the bottom right corner and take the eye out of the pic. try turning the tag 90 degrees to block the eye from leaving instead.
Very acute comment IMHO. One of the first things I learned about composition (and that isn't much) is to keep the viewer's eyes out of the corners. I learned not to put things that draw the viewer's eye away from your intended point of interest the hard way.
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Old 11-25-2016, 04:31 PM
AllisonR AllisonR is offline
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Re: Comp 1 or 2

Quote:
Originally Posted by mbeckett
wow... that head in a noose is a subject unto itself, but a complete distraction in the first composition.. don't go there lol!

i think the second is much better. i like the long crop that accentuates the gracefulness of the flowers and vase. the off center placement adds interest as well. i like the tag and cork there. the only comment i have is that the layout of the tag and cork point to the bottom right corner and take the eye out of the pic. try turning the tag 90 degrees to block the eye from leaving instead.

Yes, the head and noose will have to wait for another painting, it fights with the flowers and vase. And yes, the tag and cork are pointing out of the picture. Ugh! You are so right! I just wish you had posted this earlier, because I waited a few days, then started the painting already. I'll see if I can move the cord around to pull the eye back in.
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