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Old 05-05-2012, 05:42 PM
fams fams is offline
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View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please




GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbou
e Australia
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 11x14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is a WIP from several photos I took while visiting Australia last year

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Any and all comments/critiques are welcome and appreciated.

Last edited by fams : 05-05-2012 at 05:46 PM. Reason: Move to Structure Forum
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:46 AM
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dgford dgford is online now
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

I managed to adjust my screen image size to your painting's size. I am impressed ! Although I am purely a w/c painter and can't really comment on oils, I have often noted the type of brushes you people use --- hence "impressed".

The myriad windows all seem to conform accurately with the perspective, the people are painted with just the right amount of suggestion (we supply the detail), the composition shows the dominance of high buildings in such a street. My only tiny crit would be that I think the Aussie sunlight is fiercer than you have shown.

Thank you for sharing this. You should very pleased with it.
Geoff
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Old 05-06-2012, 04:07 PM
song_bird song_bird is offline
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

I like this very much. It's an interesting composition and I like the perspective. I am confused as to whether those are discs or spheres. They also seem to dominate the street scene, but I like them.

I like the idea of fiercing up the Aussie sunlight! That could add some liveliness and daily bustle to the dynamic nature of the scene.

Very well done!
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Old 05-08-2012, 07:14 PM
fams fams is offline
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

This is the final version. I brightened the sunlit areas and the sky and I think it is much better. thanks for the valuable comments.
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Old 05-09-2012, 12:04 AM
song_bird song_bird is offline
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

It was great before but that is much better! It's really come alive. Love the shop signs. Beautiful composition and energy.

Fabulous!
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:22 PM
AllisonR AllisonR is online now
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

Funny, I am thinking the opposite, that now that the signs have details in them, they detract from the people and cafes. Overall lovely colors, good use of perspective. My crit would be that the building on the left is just a big grey mass, and does not contribute anything to the painting.
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Old 05-20-2012, 01:04 PM
song_bird song_bird is offline
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

I think they got a lot of attention before, too, but like knowing what they are. Maybe tone some of them down a bit?

Perhaps add some stronger shadows in the foreground, as well.

Don't know why this image shrunk so much on load.

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Old 07-09-2012, 07:02 PM
henrik henrik is offline
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

I have a problem with the painting consisting of two distinct halves - the upper part with the signs, and the bottom part with the people - which am I supposed to look at?

One idea I can think of is to add a street blackboard menu standing outside the café - that would integrate the theme of the upper part with the bottom. The reverse would also work - adding people to some of the windows. A third idea would be to alter the positions of the figures to counter-point the composition / colors of the signs (one would need to go more into the foreground for this to work). The people are sort of lined up now, you may want to move one of them closer.

As an illustration of what I am talking about, look at the original unfinished post where the signs, left grey wall, and road works as one unit. In the unfinished version the separation is instead between the left side and the pinks on the right (much better in the later picture where the furthest umbrella is pink instead of orange).
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:28 PM
rossmarie rossmarie is online now
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

Quote:
Originally Posted by fams
This is the final version. I brightened the sunlit areas and the sky and I think it is much better. thanks for the valuable comments.
I think this is excellent - you've now got that intensity of Australian light and nice highlights on the people in the street. Your perspective is good and the picture has come alive. The only change I would make (a nitpick) would be to flick the odd texturing mark or two on the nearer part of the very bright roadway.

Mike
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:42 PM
fams fams is offline
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Re: View Down DeGraves Street, Melbourne Australia - Structured Forum Please

Thanks for the comments, but this painting now resides in Melbourne, Australia and the new owner is evidently delighted with it.
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