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Old 05-03-2012, 11:51 PM
suslove suslove is offline
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border collie puppies

MY IMAGE(S):



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: border collie puppies
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16 x 20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is my underpainting and has a long way to go. I am trying to fix things at this stage. Anything that jumps out at you..please critique... Thank you

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I want to make the girls shirt orange...what do you think? Should the fence go straight across? It comes toward the front a little now.
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:56 AM
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she1122 she1122 is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

For what it is worth ! I can see where you need to develop your values . Right now your range is quite narrow. Others may comment on the fence, but you are correct, on the viewer's right, the fence angles towards the viewer. The main reason I am commenting on the picture is that I absolutely love the dog on the viewer's left ! The looseness of the strokes and not being overly picky tight with detail lets the viewer " feel " the overall softness and beauty of the animal ! If this is your underpainting, don't do any more , unless maybe you decide to darken the black areas for value range to the dog . The other dog is close , but his head is not quite right . But keep the looseness ! You could use loose strokes for the sky and background , oh and fence ! Others can comment on the girl. People are trickier to do .
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:40 AM
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tgsloth tgsloth is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

Great composition. Just plug in your final layers, push the values and you'll have a masterpiece.
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Old 05-04-2012, 08:08 AM
suslove suslove is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

Wow!! What a need forum! I have been checking in from time to time. It is kind of you to respond in such a thoughtful way. Thank your for your help. Very helpful advice. I will work on values today. Putting colors in girls clothing will change things....and then there's the fence. Maybe I should leave it out?

Last edited by suslove : 05-04-2012 at 08:12 AM.
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Old 05-04-2012, 04:55 PM
song_bird song_bird is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

I'm going to suggest that her shoulders need broadening, because I find it distracting. I would also lengthen or show more of her neck by changing the collar a bit. I think your observation about the fence is a good one and I would make a change there.

Overall, I find it a pleasing composition and it's a delightful scene to remember!
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:59 AM
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greensyster greensyster is offline
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Re: border collie puppies



.




I hope a picture speaks for my thousand words. You have done a fine job. I have put up a few suggestions if you take a close look - all relate to the girls face and of course that previously mentioned shoulder. Happy painting.
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Old 05-05-2012, 07:39 AM
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Debzy Debzy is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

It is a beautiful scene and I agree with all the above and wouldn't change too much. I like what Marie did, adding more life and colour to the face, it brings the scene alive just that bit more. Beautiful job, not easy. Well done. =)) Debs.
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Old 05-05-2012, 09:34 AM
suslove suslove is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

Thank you for taking time for the great feedback. I did not see the shoulder prob til you pointed it out, I had wondered abt neckline..now I know I will change it. It takes me eons to get the face likeness..I am working on strengthening values as recommended. She is squinting and leaning forward adding to my challenge. Back to work !!!!
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Old 05-12-2012, 01:21 AM
suslove suslove is offline
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Re: border collie puppies revised

Thanks everyone for helpful suggestions. my camera washed out the right side of painting, but I wanted to see if you would help me again. I'm trying to also load my reference.
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Old 05-13-2012, 02:23 AM
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she1122 she1122 is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

Her face looks much better - but, if I may make one suggestion. Now it is late and I may be a bit blurry eyed and I am sitting at my computer eating ! LOL So allow for me to be a bit off, but I am thinking her head is too wide, so I used your photo reference and since the eye to the viewer's left is the easiest to see , I used its width as my measure as I held up a pen. A brush handle probably would have been better ! If you count the number of eye widths to measure across her forehead, you are a bit too wide by about half an eye. When you get to eye widths across her jaw where her mouth is, I think you are off by one or one and one half eyes . It would be very easy for you to measure and narrow her face esp. jaw a bit. I did not count by eye width on the length of her face . My eyes are getting bleary and I will leave that to you! You have nearly got a fantastic likeness here ! Faces are difficult . I just did two pictures of my grandsons. I know what it is to struggle with faces , believe me ! Measure and measure again and again ! Proportions are huge to get the likeness ! You almost have it !
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Old 05-13-2012, 02:37 AM
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she1122 she1122 is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

Ps - for what it is worth, I am not a big fan of ears . I don't view them as one of our most attractive features. Thus I like a hint of ear when necessary , but not more . Your photo appears to have one ear showing . Just my opinion,but I wonder how she would look with a bit of downplay on that !
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Old 05-13-2012, 08:05 AM
suslove suslove is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

I welcome your advice on measurements to head. Working from a photo..I kept remeasuring the photo..it is probably distorted. I have decided to rework the background w better detail, and will also "repair technical difficulties" in her face. Thank you for your time. I'm loving this critique center ! Susan
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Old 05-13-2012, 07:58 PM
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greensyster greensyster is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

The improvements u made are magic!
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Old 05-14-2012, 02:28 AM
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Andrewcody Andrewcody is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

No ears?

My goodness, keep her ears on, that is far to much of a sacrifice, ear removal

You did a good job with them anyway.

Love the final work

Andrew
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Old 05-14-2012, 06:32 AM
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gouligann gouligann is offline
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Re: border collie puppies

Hi suslove, this is a sweet painting. A great job on her face and love the border collies!
I agree with most of the other comments and look forward to your changes.

One thing that I noticed is that you changed the angle of the girl's hand and arm that is around the dog on the left. If it was visible, the angle you have it on would make the distance between the elbow and shoulder too short. If you change the angle up a bit and show her elbow, I think it would help.

I've included a photo to show you where I think her arm joints would be in your painting and in the photo, so you get the idea of what I mean.
Hope this helps.
Ann
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