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Old 04-23-2012, 03:00 PM
Katie Black's Avatar
Katie Black Katie Black is offline
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Manners

Where I live it seems its culturally acceptable to never return emails, pretend you have not received a text message, and return phone calls days later and so on...it's really bad here, the weird thing is I think in some messed up kind of way people think they are giving you the impression that they are super busy, therefore desirable company, if that makes sense?

What they now know is that its a deal breaker for me. I think I have changed over the last year, I have wised up, I don't tolerate bad manners anymore..and I feel a lot better for it, what this means is that I have cut some "friends" out of my life, and I feel a lot happier for it.

I recently sent emails out to three Estate agents informing them my house phone was not working and to try using my mobile if someone was interested in viewing my property...I did not get one email back acknowledging this email, is that too much to expect really? bearing in mind I have entrusted these people to sell my house...it seems this behaviour is everywhere, and I struggle with it, can't understand it.

At what point did it become acceptable behaviour to ignore emails? I think its rife everywhere though, what do you think?
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Old 04-23-2012, 04:43 PM
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caldwell.brobeck caldwell.brobeck is offline
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Re: Manners

In a business relationship, I'm surprised that your recipients didn't acknowledge your email. That's just bad business.

But on personal communications I think it is wrong to expect a response, particularly if the communication is unsolicited and doesn't require one. Most people I know I'll see in person within a few days or maybe a week or two. If I still remember the email I can discuss it with them then. Essentially I'm fine with people ignoring unessential emails. As for the phone, I rarely answer it, I'm not usually in a mood to stop whatever I'm doing and chat. Leave a message and I usually (eventually) get back to the caller.

Funny thing though is that if someone actually makes the effort to drop in, I'm usually more than happy to stop, put on the coffee, and kill some time. About the only time I won't is if I have a model present (but my friends know that).
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Old 04-23-2012, 06:17 PM
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snoball snoball is offline
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Re: Manners

Katie, I think you are right that it is rife everywhere. I think email is new enough that people do not know accepted etiquette for it. I seldom expect a reply to jokes and funny pictures but when I ask questions, it would be nice to send a short reply with the answer. I almost always at least acknowledge emails, even the goofy stuff, but you are right many do not even acknowledge a "formal" email. I have to send copies of my sister's bank statements to an agency once a month and until recently they have seldom been acknowledged. I requested that they just hit *reply* even if they don't type anthing. And no, their email client has no option to send a read receipt.
Probably the same etiquette should apply that applies to written hard copy, but then, I was never good at answering the letters I could hold in my hand.
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Old 04-23-2012, 07:22 PM
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Re: Manners

hmm
definitely bad business to not reply to confirm they got your (rather important) e-mail.

it's rare that i respond to any of the fluff and stuff i get via email - unless it's a super duper fantastic joke that i'll thank them for.

if it's a 'letter' from a personal friend, i always respond.

have learned to add in bold or CAPS to "PLEASE REPLY so I know you've received ... " when i want a reply and usually that works, but it's also usually business or party pleasures and people are happy to reply.

texting, well, i hate texting and only use it when necessary, but it is handy and i expect a reply. usually i get one and would be annoyed if i didn't.

all in all tho, really, i've learned that technology is not entirely reliable and if it's a truly important issue and i'm not getting a response - i phone.

la
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Old 04-23-2012, 09:45 PM
Gaffette Gaffette is offline
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Re: Manners

Yeah. I have noticed this. I really make an effort to reply to business emails right away or if it is something I need time for I will acknowledge receipt and let them know I need a few days to properly reply. I have had a lot of people not reply at all to business emails. One consignment place I sent an email confirming a date to drop off work and they have not replied yet. The drop off date was in the end of January. Stuff from friends it depends on if I feel like chatting which I very rarely do so people know if they really want to talk to get together. Long distance friends are the exception to that. I just find it annoying when a person lives five minutes away and can't be bothered to come over but texts my ear off.
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Old 04-24-2012, 08:56 AM
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RiJoRi RiJoRi is offline
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Re: Manners

Here at work, I've been spoiled by e-mail messages of the "OMG! The sky is falling! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!" type. At first, I started working on this problem, only to get an "Oooops! Never mind!" message a few days later. So I now let the OMG messages sit for a while.

Another thing we have with Outlook is the ability to tag messages to get a reply (a) when the message arrives in the recipient's mailbox, and (b) when the recipient reads it. While this does not excuse the poor manners, it does give me some feedback.

Another thing that irks me is when there's a mass e-mailing here at work, and a recipient does a "reply all"!! I am really and truly uninterested in your private comments to the sender!

--Rich
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Old 04-24-2012, 11:25 AM
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Keith Russell Keith Russell is offline
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Re: Manners

I am not trying to appear very busy; I am very busy!

Nonetheless, I try to respond to texts immediately. If I don't respond to a text, I either overlooked it, or didn't receive it. (Linda and I have often "compared" our phones, verifying that "Phone A" can show that a text was sent to "Phone B", which "Phone B" never received.)

I try to return personal emails within 24 hours.
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Old 04-24-2012, 10:02 PM
savedbyhim01 savedbyhim01 is offline
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Re: Manners

Here it is being late. Everyone is late. Real estate agents will purposefully show up late because they expect you to be late. You tell them ahead of time that you are not going to be late, you call them 5 minutes before you get there and tell them to leave, and they will still wait until you get to the meeting place to set off. Its very irritating.
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Old 04-24-2012, 11:23 PM
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Re: Manners

I can't stand lateness, that's a pet peeve of mine.
Email wise, if it's a personal note I reply right away. And definitely for business matters.
If it's one of those forward things, or chain letter emails, I delete it right away. if a person does that too much, I ask them nicely to stop and if they don't I block them.

I got rid of my cellphone, so I don't text, I can't stand them.
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Old 04-25-2012, 04:14 AM
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Re: Manners

I think there is also a significant generational difference (maybe generational implies too large an age range) in response etiquette.

If you, the sender of an email, just want assurance that it was received, why aren't you using read receipts? It is rude of me to waste your time by sending "received" to your routine non-inquiry email. At least, that is my opinion.

I'm also just barely old enough and rural enough in upbringing to have missed the text fad. As such, I consider texts to be email lite / email when afk / fire dept. pages. If it was urgent you would have called (except for fire dept. pages, that is a special thing and pretty much the only reason I got texting).
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Old 04-25-2012, 10:12 AM
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Re: Manners

I find myself on the rude, procrastinating side. The very day I saw the original post I picked up a phone message asking me to let me know when I was at the gallery so this acquaintance could meet me there as her studio is nearby. Well, I was ON MY WAY to the gallery but they were closing in 30 minutes. I didn't call because I figured I'd call on a day when there was more time. Wouldn't you know it, she drove by and came in. I explained but I had more 'splainin' (Desi) to do -- She had called me a few weeks before with this message: "Please call me back."
This didn't get my a.. in gear. I ignored it. yes I did. Sometimes I wait 48 hours before responding to emails and I often don't call back if I don't know what it's about -- unless the voice is trembling and needy.
Business -- that's another story. Why on earth would a person who needs your money or hopes to get it, be as rude as i am to my acquaintances?
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Old 04-25-2012, 01:03 PM
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ianuk ianuk is offline
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Re: Manners

Anyone that thinks business's are polite or have manners should try waiting ninety days after an invoice has been submitted. Where months of hard work, labour and material costs have already been paid by the contractor. Wages still have to be paid and everything else. Problem is the contractor is basically (with work hard to come by), at their mercy. I think many small business's have folded simply because of this time taken to pay...
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Old 04-25-2012, 05:22 PM
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Katie Black Katie Black is offline
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Re: Manners

Hey thanks for your replies...I sounded a little tense

Problem is I will admit people ignoring emails is my Pet Peeve!..I am so laid back about almost everything but this is the one thing that can set my teeth on edge!

I think in future I will have to phone...although I couldnt in this instance, but I will in future I think.

Gracious!
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Old 04-29-2012, 02:47 PM
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Re: Manners

I agree with you, Katie. And it's getting worse. It's like people don't even know that there are tons of ways that you can verify whether they called you or night, emailed you, or whatever.

I read a book a long time ago that compared friends with a garden. From time to time you just have to get rid of the weeds

The electronic age seems to have given certain type of people the idea that things are not "personal" anymore. When in reality. It's even more so than now. The only good thing I can think of is that as each generation grows up, maybe they will understand "manners" in the electronic age.
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Old 04-30-2012, 01:13 AM
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Re: Manners

I certainly agree I need to tune up my manners on email. But you know, some of us (I am) are so distracted by so much communication, being plugged in all the time. Remember when (if you are older) you used to rush home to see if there was MAIL? And how you carried the precious letter around with you for a week, reading and re reading it and you answered that letter with another precious letter? Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I enjoy my emails but I am lax. I'll work on it.

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