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Old 04-27-2012, 10:46 AM
mroy27 mroy27 is offline
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Still Life titled Come to me (structure critique)

MY IMAGE(S):



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Still Life titled Come to me (structure critique)
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 12 X 16
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
The photograph has caught some glares but it is the best pic I can do today.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Critique on idea, composition and execution is greatly appreciated. Also comment on what do you feel will be very helpful.
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:37 PM
mroy27 mroy27 is offline
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Re: Still Life titled Come to me (structure critique)

After I saw my own photo posted here, I saw some things and made some minor changes. Latest version is posted here.

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Old 04-29-2012, 10:31 AM
Dana Design
 
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Re: Still Life titled Come to me (structure critique)

The water and plant life is a bit confusing. Bring the stems and leaves down into the water. As of now, they look like they're behind the vase.

I'd also put a bit more shadow under the teapot so that it doesn't look as tho' it's going to slide of the table. I also think there'd be somewhat of a shadow behind the teapot glancing onto the vase. And were it mine, I'd 'flatten' the ellipse on the lid of the teapot making it shallower to match the ellips of the milk jug.

The looseness on the leaves above the water is very nice and that's quite well done.
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Old 04-29-2012, 12:46 PM
mroy27 mroy27 is offline
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Re: Still Life titled Come to me (structure critique)

Thanks Dana for your comments. I will add a deeper shadow under the teapot, I kept looking for it in my still life set up but that side was well illuminated and didnot show anything. I also lost a slight shadow of the teapot on the milk jug that I need to put back in. I will also look in to the other things you mentioned except the shape of the tea pot lid. I want to emphasize on the idea that they are opposites. Really appreciate your feedback, thanks again.

Manju
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Old 07-09-2012, 08:18 PM
henrik henrik is offline
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Re: Still Life titled Come to me (structure critique)

The three main object look very good in isolation, the teapot esp. looks realistically ceramic/glazed, but I would like them to be more integrated into an overall scene.

Here are some observations:
- the plum colored fabric looks very intense in comparison to the rest.
- the teapot looks like it is extending into/inside the glass (there is a brighter area behind the teapot - if there was a distance you should see the reflection of the teapot in the glass jar).
- the white porcelain object should also be reflected in the glass. Now, it looks like its "lip" is kissing the glass, but with the reflection missing this looks a bit odd.
- the vibrant color in the fabric should really have a much greater effect on all of the colors in the rest of the painting (but I think it would be better to town down the fabric color (lower saturation, and not use only white for the highlights), rather than making everything else plum colored).
- The plum color *is* reflected on the white object, but not uniformly and thus unfortunately reads a bit like a smudge then as reflected plum light.
- There is a dark leaf inside the jar that creates a duality (ping-pong effect) with the top of the tea-pot lid). Also, it is sort of positioned where a reflection of the tea-pot is expected, which makes it confusing.
- the bright light that hits the glass jar, where does it go? I think it would hit the wall and perhaps even create a camera obscure projection of the jar - say something like this, but not as pronounced.

I would consider adding more leaves at the top as the left and right sides look too empty. This could also give the opportunity to perhaps have some of the extended leaves point towards the viewer in a way that they cast a shadow on the other object. I would also consider counter-pointing the leaves with a broken off twig/leaf and place it lower left (or some other object that talks to the leaves/branches). This would also bring the area with the fabric into the overall scene.

Hope this is of help.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:19 AM
cabbage1 cabbage1 is offline
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Re: Still Life titled Come to me (structure critique)

And just generally as a future composition tip, maybe flatten the table cloth down a might;It's useful to create some interest with folds and what have you, but you don't want it being too turbulent and distracting from the objects of focus.
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