Windy Day Lake Misquabi (Revised Edition)

[abo1955]

MY IMAGE(S):



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Windy Day Lake Misquabi (Revised Edition)
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 9x12 inches
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I have made some revisions especially with the sky, trees and middle distance foliage. I am happy with it now but would still love to hear your comments.STRUCTURED CRITIQUES PLEASE

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Be frank please. Should I frame this?

[La_]

i question the pale/muted chalky green sections of trees ... they seem quite flat, especially the very center one but also the others i've pointed to



la

[abo1955]

Nice observation La. Thanks a lot . I agree. Abo

[LarrySeiler]

You have the left side of the painting set up and begging for an asymmetrical focal secondary point that would balance out the weight of the visual elements. However, I find the bit of white water crest in the lower right not supporting that weight sufficiently..

[abo1955]

Thanks Larry. The same problem keeps concerning me. Any ideas about how I can solve this. I've thought about a wind -surfer but am not really convinced. Abo

[LarrySeiler]

ideally, you want to avoid having a mass stopping right at the or the main mass too far away from center as you did far left.

The image below...a quick digital sketch, shows best when the mass goes just beyond the central divide of the support.

Its a philosophical thing somewhat, but affects orchestrating design. Its about what it is you want, what you NEED to say. If the trees and rock compel you most to paint...the the mass is the main actor in the drama and you slide it over like the sketch. If the stormy water is the main character, painting on location I probably would have walked around with a matboard and opening cut out to frame, and would have found a composition that set up asymmetry nicely featuring the rough water.

You have a potential danger here....of two paintings happening in one because mass is so heavily weighted and distributed to the far left. I would in this case learn from this, not so much concern myself changing it...and know not to do such again.

The second sketch in upper right recognizes the clouds lead the eye up...and perhaps a hang glider or two...or we could be cheezy and have seagulls!

the cresting of the wave itself is not doing it...

[abo1955]

This is a very informative response Larry. Thankyou. I have learned a great deal from your comments. It's the effort of skilled people like yourself that make this site so worthwhile. It's only a small sketch, maybe the hang- glider will save me a lot of work! Abo

[KAScott]

Hi abo

I'm a little behind on the posts - just hung my 4 month solo show last Thursday and the last couple were --- well frantically disorganized and late hours is an understatement.

I'm going to give you a different take on it. It is just fine. You can create mass by objects and all that (I think of that often as overanalyzing.) Or you can create the focal point by color.

For example, find the focal point in Monet's Imrpession of Sunrise at Le Havre (1872). Hint it is not the red dot of the sun.

There are 4 major dark areas in that painting (those masses) and they bounce all over. Draw Larry's lines on it and you have a complete mess.

The focal point is created by the color intensity. The human eye tend to seek the lightest or brightest point unless stoped by the dark spaces (rocks.)

When I looked at this, my eye veered away from the clump of rocks to the right. The darkness on the right (treees and sky darker than the center) stopped me and I was in the center. My eye then went back over the beach to the little alcoves (just to the right of the light green trees which pull the eye because they are lighter) - and that is the spot btw to which the furtherest point of the wave is pointing.

All these so-called 'rules' are merely concepts for helping to solve a technical problem that is being nasty.

When you lay out the piece, the question is where do you want the viewer to go. Stopped at the front by the rocks? (I hate theses big rocks in front with wave paintings - about as interesting as mud because the rock is screaming for your attention and is totally uninteresting and it is difficult ot move past it.) Along the beach? Into the trees? Up to the sky?

You can lay out the colors (notice I said colors not objects) to send the viewer to the far background and beyond. You can alternatively stop the viewer in the foreground. If you are inviting the viewer into the scene you usually (and it is 'usually' not 'always') want to take them as far to the back of the scene as you can so they are 'exploring' the scene.

Please do not go sticking windsurfers or birds in. It would make it trite. The painting is not about a windsurfer which would be very distracting because of the color and percieved movements. Birds shoved in look like something for greeting card.

Only thing I see is that the water on the far right would be a hair darker than the center. Those clouds change the litght and shadow the water as they do the right side trees. Then you would have the darkenss of the sky-trees-water on the right and the darkness of the rocks on the left both sending you right down the center and up the beach to the little alcvoes in the tree line.

[abo1955]

Hi Kas, A very interesting take on how to re-balance my composition. I'll darken the lake on the right slightly and possibly some of the sky area as well. Thanks for the ideas. Abo

[AllisonR]

Now I see the struggle between the stormy sky and the crashing wave. Much more energy. I can almost feel those tall palms on the left fighting against the wind to stay put. You should be happy with the changes.

But I don't see how you have fixed he pale green La referred to - it's still there and needs to be broken up with some other colors and a hint of tree forms. Doesn't need ot be literal and detailed, but a large solid block of sage green in the center of the trees does not work, imo. also the flat block of geen slightly to the left on the top of the trees.