The sense that the "figure" is intently focused on something, a goal of calming perhaps, yet in the moment, on the path, he is too consumed by other random, racing thoughts. With all to much energy to be assimilated at once, like making sense while hearing a voice from a divine source, the figure is putting the pieces together albeit in the wrong order. Regardless of what it means or how the symbology works into a coherent picture, all is one. The all-pervasive omnipotent Godhead feels that something as simple as a cherry (or as completely unplanned, haphazardly off balance, dripping, over the top-with a cherry on top) can bring perfection through being an active participant through meditation. While the wolf figure in the brilliant light can reach the "cherry" through a dissociative schizophrenic creative burst, the other seated figure is reaching the theta brainwave state in a complete darkness yet still perfectly content. All paths lead to Rome. No matter what the struggle is, how deeply rooted and painful (like a knife in the back) it can be overcome through steady perseverance.
I don't know that this is the place to vent my frustration which indeed is what this piece is about, but just by doing the piece was a cathartic practice in itself.
Like the painting, this writing is all part of the strange process of finding my happy place.
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Ok, so obviously I have alot on my mind.
To see my progress from the beginning in the oil painting channel go here: