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Old 05-10-2011, 12:59 PM
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mcassatt mcassatt is offline
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Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 18x24
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is from a old photo on the NJ shore boardwalk.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I'd like structured critique please. Any c&c is appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to look. grace

Last edited by Dana Design : 08-13-2011 at 09:49 AM. Reason: resized image
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Old 05-10-2011, 01:31 PM
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mcassatt mcassatt is offline
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Question Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

Sorry about the size of the picture, I'm asking tech. support for help to remove, does anyone how to do this. I don't know how to fix this problem
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:32 PM
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mcassatt mcassatt is offline
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

Found a thread that tells about resizing... now I have to find out how to delete this!
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Old 07-29-2011, 02:06 PM
Goldeelocks Goldeelocks is offline
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

I don't know if you want this kind of critique, I just like it a lot and maybe correct anatomy isn't something that's important here, I don't know.

Anatomy is just my thing:

*the frontal bone (forehead) needs to go back more, it's typical for men to have more slanted foreheads

*men tend to have a sharp dent under the glabella (that's the bone protruding between the eyebrows), his is sharp, you made it too soft

*his nose is straight, like the Greeks, not concave

*the upper lip should protrude a little bit, because the orbicularis muscle is right under it, when people get older they lose some muscle, so what you're doing is making him look older than he is

*his head should go a bit deeper, although not by a lot

*inferior part of his chin needs to go deeper down

*you can see his styloid process, it's the little bone on the ulna on your wrist, the one that hurts like hell if you hit it againt a table

*the extensor carpi radialis longus and the brachioradialis are the two muscles sitting on top of his arm, they attach ABOVE the elbow onto the humerus, your upper arm bone. You attached them too short, they go up under his t-shirt. They also start later in the arm unlike the other extensors and flexors, you started the muscle too soon on the left.

*his lower arm rests more on the table, there's a huge bunch of muscles there, in men they are typically really well developed, the flexor muscles, you made his lower arm float for no reason

*he has a stronger neck, you made the lower line too horizontal

*his wrist needs to gain some mass, there's 2 bones there, they take up space, no muscles except from some thumb flexors, which gives it the squareish look, only tendons

*the back of his upper arm, just viewable under his t-shirt is not muscular at all, the biggest triceps muscle mass ends much higher, most of the bottom half is tendon, you made it too rounded, the line to the right of his elbow should be straight


*there's another slight issue, and that is that his face is not 100% in profile, it's looking slightly to us, you can see a part of his farthest suborbital ridge, that is the brow ridge, although it doesn't look wrong until you compare it to the reference, I didn't notice it at first, so this doesn't seem very important

If this doesn't help, sorry, not sure if anatomical critique is useful at all to you.
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Last edited by Goldeelocks : 07-29-2011 at 02:35 PM.
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Old 09-01-2011, 10:39 PM
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

mcassatt, I'd give you high marks for concept. The subject matter is interesting. Could we see the photo reference?
It appears that you are experiencing some timidity in putting the paint down, as evidenced by the "halos" around the subject matter. You're also using white in many of your mixtures, creating some chalkiness too. You'd be smart to get ahold of a good oil painting DVD. There are many great ones to choose from. It is very helpful to watch a good painter paint and then to follow the lesson by painting yourself. Keep at it, paint a lot. Your painting has many good shapes and values.
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Old 09-16-2011, 05:18 PM
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KatV KatV is offline
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

Excellent anatomy critique here! So fun to read and remind myself too, so thanks for teaching us others out here....and thanks to the OP for letting us learn with your post!

One other suggestion, the boy is how old? Perhaps 6 or 7? Even at age 5, a boy would have a head only slightly smaller, maybe a couple inches smaller, than a grown man. The boy's head looks too small to me. Remember children are much larger on the head sizing.....decreasing by age of course.

Here's a link I had bookmarked:
http://www.idrawdigital.com/wp-conte...9/01/prop2.jpg

Also, it would be an unusual pool table that would have reflection beyond a tiny change of color or shadow. The pool table looks wet.
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Old 09-18-2011, 11:52 PM
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Cieljaune Cieljaune is offline
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

Following some of the suggestions already made (but not many of the anatomical changes), I made some adjustments with Photoshop in this version of the painting. It makes the background less distracting, using a dull red middle tone to answer the green of the table, and removes some of the unnecessary texture in the tabletop. Cropping the picture also enlarges the figures and makes the action more important in the composition. (Changing the point-of-view more to the left, looking more diagonally across the table instead of straight across it, would pull the two heads together and improve some of the horizontally stretched-out look of the composition.)
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Old 09-19-2011, 12:09 AM
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Cieljaune Cieljaune is offline
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

Oops, I left out my suggested edited version. Here it is.
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Old 10-14-2011, 10:55 PM
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

The current tones you have in the shirt do not represent/suggest the mass and curvature of his torso very well. You seem to only be using them for hue shifting the white of that shirt to create dynamic lighting, but they need to define value also. The shirt might have its own shades from folds and creases, but dont forget about the mass underneath it.

Are you working from a reference picture? If so, would you mind posting it if possible?
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Old 01-12-2012, 01:26 PM
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Re: Future Billards Shark - Structured Critique

Wow, thanks alot everyone. My heads dizzy. A special thanks to Goldilocks. Thanks for taking the time to disect this one. I knew it had problems.
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