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Old 09-24-2011, 01:48 PM
nolagal nolagal is offline
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Tenderness - please put in structured critique

MY IMAGE(S):



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Tende<br>ess - please put in structured critique
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16 x 20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I did this to meet the theme of a small local art show I entered (my first, no luck, glad for the experience, gotta grow some thicker skin). I'm working on my picture taking skills for posting.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
The upper left just seems like dead space to me, and I wanted to add a subtle something soft like a rope or drying grasses on the wall, but my instructor said don't it would distract the eye. I appreciate any comments.
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Old 09-25-2011, 01:19 AM
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La_ La_ is offline
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Re: Tenderness - please put in structured critique

k, well, i think the first thing structured is going to ask is where's your light source ... ?

hen looks like it's from the top left(ish) right(ish) ... chick looks like it's from the top left(ish) ... rooster seems mostly frontal, top left(ish) ...kind of.

i played a bit ... your original top left .. morphs showing various light source options (clockwise) light peeking from between fence ... front left lit with fence lightened ... upper right lit

nice job on all the feathers and such, a pleasant family moment indeed, but yeah, make a decision on light and you've got some good improvements i think.

morphs ...
or not ...

Ack! There was an error copying your file - email us ... <center><form> <input value="Back" onclick="history.go(-1)" type="button">

bloody bother
sorry, will try again later
</form></center>


la
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Old 09-25-2011, 01:43 AM
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Andrewcody Andrewcody is offline
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Re: Tenderness - please put in structured critique

I agree witn La the back wall is too solid and repetitive, as is the line across the bottom of the wall, colour is good. Need some shadow and as La says you need a defined light source to bring the work to life.
Not bad chooks

Andrew
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Old 09-25-2011, 02:06 AM
WYSIWYG WYSIWYG is offline
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Re: Tenderness - please put in structured critique

Lighting I think will help a lot but sometimes tiny details can affect too... I would check against your reference photo the thigh as it joins to the body, thickness of legs and toe joints of the rooster. The legs have enough bone and are placed as you'd expect on an Indian Game whereas this bird is a breed/mix with much lighter layer body type and colour. I adore the little chick though, just lovely and fluffy!

If you look very closely at your reference photo you may also find that the rooster and hen have slight streaking in the bills. They're slightly transparent and often have a bit of it like horn.
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Old 09-25-2011, 10:34 AM
nolagal nolagal is offline
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Re: Tenderness - please put in structured critique

Thanks for the help here. The honest (and foolish) answer about the light source is that I did not give it much thought. In my mind they are in the corner of a dark barn so..... I reallly do want to understand how to make this better - the birds themselves seem ok to me, but overall I just don't like it and know it screams amateur.

La - I really appreciate the time you took for your comments. If you could show me what you talked about it would be such a kindness.
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Old 09-25-2011, 07:35 PM
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Re: Tenderness - please put in structured critique


(recap, clockwise from top ... original, back lit, strongly lit from front right, lightly lit from front left)
no changes made to chickens

k, so i kind of like the light peeking through the fence option best, just because it seems to add some interest here and there and everywhere, but ultimately of course it's up to you.

la
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Last edited by La_ : 09-25-2011 at 07:45 PM.
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Old 09-26-2011, 12:10 PM
nolagal nolagal is offline
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Re: Tenderness - what a difference some light makes

Wow - out of the context of the "theme" it was meant for, I was somewhat embarrassed about this piece (even as a beginner). Seeing it with the light streams coming thru the wall (which in a million years I would not have thought of) it really brings the whole thing to life for me and I actually think its interesting. Its still what it is, but I would stop and look at this now. Hopefully I can execute the idea effectively and save this from a life in the closet.
Thank you so much for your time and these important lessons - about light and about considering options beyond the original vision when its not working.
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Old 11-28-2011, 06:32 PM
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Evelien1 Evelien1 is offline
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Re: Tenderness - please put in structured critique

I agree, something with the light needs to be done (not on the chicken, they look great).
Maybe just a slight gradient on the background wood would be enough. (I'd say: the left upper corner being the lightest spot, gradually darkening while it goes down). You can combine this with other light effects if you want to.
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