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snipa
12-19-2002, 11:02 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-19-2002/12327_seb.JPG

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-19-2002/12327_seb_1.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: portrait of 15 month old son
Year Created: 2002
Medium: Oil Pastel
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 9
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I'm looking for help on how to improve my work. Shadows, shapes, volume, color , texture, composition--whatever insite you can provide will be appreciated.

todd

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Any feedback to help me improve will be appreciated.

Gavinart
12-19-2002, 11:17 AM
Keep on working at this frequency and you will learn from yourself, at this point.

I think you have a lot going on, nice texture, composition (although the way the ear is cropped troubles me some.)
The use of greens, warms and cools in the flesh, smooth area, graphic marks and temperature variation make this a satisfying work.

One point might be to treat the background as a more atmospheric space than a directional one. The marks in the background are a similar weight as the foreground; might be fighting each others visual superiority.


As a father of a 2.75 yr old, I know how much love and attention goes into such a rendering.

Beautiful job!

snipa
12-19-2002, 11:27 AM
Thanks Gavinart!
I'll re-work the ear color-wise to try to help the crop issue you spoke about. Maybe by darkening this area of the piece will help to make it not as noticeable.

I can now see what your saying about the background. Blending more in this area -giving it atmosphere instead of texture, would add to some textural diversity in the work

I appreciate your comments
todd

Wayne Gaudon
12-19-2002, 12:25 PM
lots of nice stuff happening here ..

Helen Zapata
12-19-2002, 01:14 PM
I agree, there is a lot of great stuff happening here. Super job.

What pops out at me is the nose. It appears that the rest of the face is just ever so slightly tipped towards us, while the nose is at absolute profile. I would like to see more of the top of the nose, and tip it to bring it in line with the rest of his face.

Love those smoochie cheeks! And the sweater is fabulous.

Helen

artbabe21
12-19-2002, 03:07 PM
good use of color...beautiful work...:)

pampe
12-19-2002, 03:35 PM
agree.....much to enjoy and take to heart


background smudging may be in order


lovely child!

Paintonbrush
12-19-2002, 04:49 PM
such and angel and what wonderful work youve done. !!

jerryW
12-21-2002, 12:15 PM
nice work
there are no shortcuts
we are all living proof
fine parenting
(I used to use the back of my finger nail to blend oil pastel once applied, and I collected all the balled up bits on a newspaper below after careful brushing off with fingertips.)

snipa
12-22-2002, 09:43 AM
Thanks to all of you for your responses.

Gavin, Pampe - I did re-work the background to give it more atmosphere.

Helen- I saw what you said about the nose after you pointed that out and re-worked it

I appreciate the advise!
todd

snipa
12-22-2002, 09:47 AM
overall view

snipa
12-22-2002, 09:50 AM
Thanks to all of you for your responses.

Gavin, Pampe - I did re-work the background to give it more atmosphere.

Helen- I saw what you said about the nose after you pointed that out and re-worked it

I appreciate the advise!
todd

jolie
12-22-2002, 10:16 AM
this is a beautiful piece. i really like what you've done after taking in the suggestions of others. it came together so well!!!

jolie

Gavinart
12-22-2002, 11:20 AM
WonderfuL!

djstar
12-22-2002, 04:39 PM
I was really impressed to see oil pastel!
I am totally flummoxed by the whole experience, right down to having no idea what even to paint ON!

I really loved the original with the Van Gogh like strokes and the very surface design.
I am not much for smudging. I like the look of layers of strokes appearing like line. It was a very nifty show of the use of the material and I could see how I might conceptualize the medium to achive that specific quality.
The blended background isolates the young gentleman from the space behind him, rather than integrating it. The element of texture and design is sacrificed for illusion.
It is still fine, but I think it was fine before.
Thanks for posting, please show me more! I need examples to understand the stuff.
dj*

momento
12-23-2002, 03:19 PM
I love the texture, there's alot to enjoy with this pic.

Really dig his hair, for some reason, lol.

Very Well Done,

d

orchidlover6
12-23-2002, 04:15 PM
i like the second image showing the ear totally cropped. it's a fresh compostion to the unusual texture of the skin.