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Alyona
12-03-2002, 08:28 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-03-2002/7265_OriginalSmaller.jpg

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-03-2002/7265_DSCF0002.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Baby WIP
Year Created: 2002
Medium: Pencil
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 14x17
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Hi everybody!
This is my current commission – baby’s portrait (graphite/ charcoal)
For the background I am planning to draw very light few pine tree brunches (sort of as on original photo, but much lighter). With addition I have to “create” hand for her. Hope it will show up ok!


MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Did I get likeness or not even close?
How I can improve this drawing?
Any comments and suggestions are very-very welcome!

coulter
12-03-2002, 08:44 PM
I'm sorry, buy you are so good, when the photo loaded, I thought for sure you had taken up colored pencils!!

This is wonderful as always, I don't have the knowledge to tell you how to make it better, but I will admire it now, and hopefully when you post the finished drawing. :D

Good luck with the hand :(

Mark

Alyona
12-03-2002, 08:49 PM
Thanks Mark for reply!
You know, I didn't do colored pencils yet - I don't feel comfortable with colors still. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to do it...:(

... after posting I notice a lot of defects already - going to make some changes!:D

Helen Zapata
12-03-2002, 09:11 PM
This is SO GOOD!!!!! You are definitely a master at babies!

Nits are:

chunky up that right arm.

and the left eye (on our right) ... the pupil just seems a touch off. Probably just the position of that highlight. What do you think?

Helen

Alyona
12-03-2002, 09:15 PM
What do you think?
Very helpful!!:D
Thanks a lot Helen!

artbabe21
12-03-2002, 09:54 PM
absolutely wonderful....:)

Paintonbrush
12-03-2002, 11:03 PM
absolutely nothing to critique about this. I hope you know that....fabulous!

Alyona
12-03-2002, 11:29 PM
Thanks artbabe21 and Paintonbrush!:)
I hope tomorrow to post improved version (if I will not screw up at the end - happens all the time:rolleyes: )

jerryW
12-04-2002, 01:14 PM
extremely close.

bnoonan
12-04-2002, 01:45 PM
What a gem. YOu really caught her likeness.

Well done! Barb

Margaret Dent
12-05-2002, 04:03 PM
The likeness is perfect and I really don't see anything to improve here! Great job.

Margaret.

Alyona
12-06-2002, 03:30 PM
thanks Jerry, Barb, Margaret for your attention!:)
Here is the final version:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-Dec-2002/Baby-Girl1.JPG

Now I am really worrying about that stupid branch on the back and the hand. Does it look dorky? I didn't spray it with fixative yet, so I think it is possible to make some changes:(:confused: .
Need your opinion and suggestions!

Thanks a lot in advance!

Margaret Dent
12-06-2002, 03:46 PM
Alyona

I don't know if I would call it dorky :p , but , IMHO, it doesn't really add to this portrait. The problem is, if you take it out, the portrait won't work as well because it's not centered and the large space on the right does not serve any purpose. I know that's not true in other forms of art, but for me, portraits should be dead centre if the subject is all by himself.

Problem is, I'm not really sure what to suggest. Doing the whole background wouldn't work because it's too dark. Maybe just a little shading around the little boy to bring him out forward?

Sorry, I'm afraid I wasn't much help...
:confused:

Margaret.

Alyona
12-06-2002, 03:53 PM
Thanks Margaret!
You are absolutely right.
As you see on the original the main subject (BTW, it is a girl:) ) is centered. And it would work perfect with just light background color. But my client asked me about hand. She didn't have a picture of a hand, so I sort of create it. Any way, when you add the hand, the girl by herself is moving to the left and we have in result empty space in the upper right corner. I sort of filled it out with that branch to bring everything in balance. But something is bothering me. And hand... What do you think about anatomy? Is it completely off? Does hand look like disabled:) ?

Thanks a lot for looking!

Margaret Dent
12-06-2002, 04:04 PM
Alyona,

About the hand... When you created it, did you have a photo to look at for reference? My guess is you didn't. In itself, the hand looks just fine, but because you have used a photograph for most of her and created a very photographic looking portrait, her hand simply looks like it was created in another style. If you have time, I would suggest to get a clip of the baby's hand from another photograph and use that. If you can't get that, let me know and I might be able to scan one in for you.

BTW, sorry about the boy thing. I laughed because I have a little boy and everyone thinks he is a girl...:p

Margaret.

Alyona
12-06-2002, 04:53 PM
Hey Margaret, I would really-really appreciate your help with hand image if you have it! No, I didn't have any ref pictures, I guess that is the problem.
Trying now to lighten the branch...:(

Thanks in advance!

Cap
12-06-2002, 05:02 PM
A very close likeness. Your drawing is very good.

artbabe21
12-06-2002, 06:01 PM
I agree the branches are distracting...the hand/arm is good but as Margaret said another style...I kept looking at it knowing it didn't seem to fit but wasn't sure why, til I read Margaret's reply.
Good luck!

Alyona
12-06-2002, 07:04 PM
Okay, I guess it is maximum what I can do now, sigh...

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-Dec-2002/Baby-Girl2.JPG

Hand still looks horrible, but as long as branches was distractive, I decided to distract attention from that darn hand.
What do you think?
Am I screwed up again?... I know, I know.... sigh...

Helen Zapata
12-06-2002, 07:16 PM
Good save on the branches. I think they look much better now that they are softer and you filled in more space with them. Before it kept me thinking that she was getting an ear tickle.

The hand looks fine to me. I like her finger coming out like that. Maybe just a touch more light shadowing on the arm and hand.. bringing it more in line with her right arm.

Perfect job on "chunkying" up her right arm. And her eyes are perfect now.

I LOVE THIS! It's utterly and completely adorable. I want to give that little girl a big grandma-style smooch on her cheeks. I'd love to have drawings like this of my kids when they were little. Your client is going to LOVE it and cherish it for generations.

Helen

Alyona
12-06-2002, 07:31 PM
Thanks Helen!
You make me feel better :) - at list I will be able sleep before my client will say something....

artbabe21
12-06-2002, 07:35 PM
Oh, I think the hand is improved...

it could be the shortening of it that throws the eye off...and I haven't stepped away from the screen to view it...branches look better...;sleep tight!

Alyona
12-06-2002, 07:38 PM
Thanks Cathleen!
I think I will put it aside for few hours and take a look again.
Maybe some great idea will hit me!
But I guess it is okay for now.
Thanks for moral support:D !

Ginette
12-07-2002, 02:05 PM
I'm coming in late.
I think you draw extremely well.

When I looked at it for a while, I felt the most important part is really the beautiful face and expression. Most everything else takes away from that. IMHO

I took the liberty to edit to show a different approach.

Maybe with a kneaded eraser you can feather out the edges. I think the hand is taking away too mush so I feathered it out totally and cropped the image.

Hope you don't mind.

kind regards
Ginette

Alyona
12-07-2002, 03:43 PM
Hi Ginette!
Yes, I wanted make exactly same drawing originally. But (if you will take a look at my earlier explanation in previous posts:) ) my client asked me to draw the hand for baby. She didn't supply me with picture of whole hand and I should've done it from my head. Plus she wanted some branches on the background. As long as she is paying for my work, I have to listen what my client wants. So, in result of the adding hand to baby she is moving to the left and we have empty upper right corner. I decided to feel it out with branches. Branches by itself looked distractive, hand didn't look naturally. So I added few branches at the bottom to "distract" attention from the hand and balance composition.

Any way, thanks for looking.

Ginette
12-07-2002, 06:06 PM
I fully understand.
Client wants what clients wants , been there done that *BIG GRIN*

I should have read all the otehr post first.
Sorry. :o

Ginette

Margaret Dent
12-09-2002, 11:22 AM
Alyona,

it looks a lot better. If you still would like the photos of hand, email me directly (I'm not sure if I'll have time to check the forums today regularly) [email protected] and I'll try and scan some in tonight.

Good job on those branches!

Let me know.

Margaret.

Alyona
12-09-2002, 03:40 PM
Thanks Ginette!
Thanks Margaret!
Today my client said: " I am very pleased with this drawing. Looks exactly like her. I will keep you in my mind, I love your work and would be happy to refer you to my friends."
What could be better than these kind of words for the artist?
Only more words and more clients:D
Any way I am truly grateful for all of you, who helped me with advice and support!
Thanks again and take care!