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henrik
03-31-2000, 06:25 PM
I like the feeling in this one. The composition with the icebergs and moon is very good!
I think there is one thing that jumps out; the white area/line at the horizon directly beneth the moon. (What is it?). I think it looks much better if you take that out.

The sky seems a bit too blue.

Phyllis Rennie
03-31-2000, 07:57 PM
Am really enjoying your seascapes. If this one is supposed to be moonlit, I think it has too much light. The sky would not be so blue and the light on the icebergs would be colder. Maybe think about greying the sky and putting a blue-white light on the ice. Phyl

kayemme
03-31-2000, 09:41 PM
i think the iceburgs need some work; maybe a painter's knife would help it a bit. at times the brush is "too smooth" or if you use a brush, stiple color on the iceburgs. they look too flat.

the sea is beautiful.

the moon would reflect a bit of subtle light around it and it would get progressively darker in the sky. i agree (with someone)that the sky would not be so blue at night.



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km (http://www.artistnation.com/members/lofts/kmarion/)

J.Dillon
04-01-2000, 12:00 AM
I think the color of the night sky needs improvement. How would I do that ? Acrylic on masonite. Thanks http://albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=259042&a=1928336&p=16748020&Sequence=0

cagathoc
04-01-2000, 12:08 AM
The sky is wonderful. It changes in value form top to bottom, it has interesting clouds and stars, and streaks of light that look like shooting stars.

The composition, in terms of the sky, 3 white icebergs and ocean works really well for me. Theres's a nice rythmn bouncing between the ship and the ice bergs and the large areas of color (sky and sea) reinforce this.

Very romantic image; I could care less about marine art and your work is getting even me hooked!



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Cindy Agathocleous

"What if imagination and art are not, as many of us might think, the frosting on life, but the fountainhead of human experience?" - Rollo May from The Courage to Create

henrik
04-01-2000, 07:31 AM
Hi, here are some of the suggested changes...
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/articMoon-hl1.jpg
<UL>
I grayed the sky (reduced saturation)
Made the moon brighter - it must be the brightest thing since all the light comes from it
lightened the area around the moon
removed the distracting white at the horizon
made the boat brighter
lightened parts of clouds facing moon
<UL>

henrik
04-01-2000, 07:34 AM
Hm - sorry - clouds where brighter before - I reduced the saturation of the clouds as well when I did the sky...

bruin70
04-01-2000, 08:48 AM
sky is too blue...you need,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,BLACK!! i think there's too much distinction in forms for a night scene. but that's your style, maybe. what you should do,,,and this applies to your other paintings, is to establish your lightest value and your darkest. then ork everything else in between. that would help here, where the icebergs seem too light, or the moon too dark. and the shimmer not shimmering enough. there seems to be something lacking. i think there should be more drama. mysterious darkness. hovering shapes of the unknown. the last wilderness. as if mother nature is saying "what are you doing here?"...and i think it starts with the composition.....milt

arlene
04-01-2000, 11:02 AM
I think Henriks changes were just what it needed. The only other thing I would do, is darken the icebergs to let the ship become the main focal point.
Right now, even with Henriks changes, they're fighting with the ship.

[This message has been edited by arlene (edited April 01, 2000).]

henrik
04-01-2000, 11:55 AM
Well, here is more black and drama. (Dillon forgive me for hacking away at your picture, but this is soooo much fun).

(These edits are sloppy, and the colors on the icebergs went a bit wacky... so squint your eyes a bit - or better still - close them http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/biggrin.gif )

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/arcticMoon-hl2.jpg


[This message has been edited by henrik (edited April 01, 2000).]

J.Dillon
04-01-2000, 04:02 PM
Bruin, Arlene, Your all on the right track. Henrick also, and feel free to play around with it your'e doing great. The only reservation I have is I do beleive there should be a sliver of moon light on the horizion. I have seen it that way many times when the moon is close to the water. Navigators depend on a clear horizion line when " Shooting" the moon or taking sextant observations of this body.

I do like the idea of mystery suggested. You all have given me the idea trying another painting with the ideas given here. THANKS

paintfool
04-04-2000, 02:00 AM
J Dillon, beautiful piece, as always. The only thing that i might suggest, however, is that you remove the light falling on the top of the iceburg on the left. The light source, being the moon of course, could not reach that 'back' part of the iceburg....Cheryl

J.Dillon
04-04-2000, 10:56 AM
To all who critiqued this painting. I'm currently working on a new one with careful considerations of all your comments & suggestions. I hope to come up with something to post in the near future. Thanks again and it is sure nice to have people to share what otherwise would be a lonely passion. JD