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Burkeman
03-22-2000, 03:52 PM
Took me a little while to figure out how to do this but I got my image up here for a critique. It is a 10x14 Watercolor that the scanner cropped about an inch off of the right-hand side. It might make it look a little out of balance but the main elements are still there. I would like some input on potential improvements that could be made to this piece since I haven't gotten any input on my recent work other than from my wife who gives me a "That looks really nice, dear" and goes about her business. I feel that I could make the sky more interesting by adding some clouds or something since it is a decent sized area and I feel I could make the shadows a little more interesting by adding some reflected light or something. Let me know what you think.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/bike3.jpg

henrik
03-22-2000, 04:05 PM
Burkeman, what kind of input do you want? Do you want comments on composition even if the suggested changes would be difficult to perform in a WC?

Burkeman
03-22-2000, 04:08 PM
I would appreciate them since even if they can't be implemented in this piece they will help me in future compositions or if I decided to paint this subject again in the future to get a different take on it.

cagathoc
03-22-2000, 04:40 PM
I really like the perspective. The hand seems too small though... Also the tire looks too thin, maybe (unless this is stylistic?).
Has a nice sense of motion...


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Cindy Agathocleous

"What if imagination and art are not, as many of us might think, the frosting on life, but the fountainhead of human experience?" - Rollo May from The Courage to Create

Phyllis Rennie
03-22-2000, 07:56 PM
Interesting viewpoint. I think the sky is fine. If you do decide to rework, I'd suggest changing the "hook" of the beach area. It directs your viewer right out of the painting. Also the hand and handlebar just touches it and that creates a rather awkward point. And if the trees on the right were higher, they would create a dark background for the light handlebar and help to keep it from fading into the sky. The idea is unique enough that I think it would be worth the work of redoing. If you do, be sure to send it in. Phyl

CarlyHardy
03-23-2000, 12:41 AM
This is definitely a unique perspective and I would paint it again too! But this time please grip the handle bar...I would if I were going down that incline! You did a great job with the bike except the front tire does seem a bit wobbly.

For the background...create more of a haze and push it into the distance...maybe even open up the sea a bit more. The trees on the right could be taller which would bring them forward but make some see thru areas to keep the airiness that you've created with the perspective.
Wonderful idea for a painting!
carly

Rod
03-23-2000, 03:20 AM
Yes, I agree with comments already made,
I think thee tyre should be thicker, Also it is too far forward in relation to forks,
Interesting Painting,
Rod

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Watercolours from New Zealand (http://www.artistnation.com/members/paris/rod/)

henrik
03-23-2000, 07:08 AM
Burkeman, you have several closed of areas that create an abstract pattern; the bay on the left, the area framed by the handlebar and green area, area above handlebar etc. These large "jigsaw" pieces sort of have their own life. I suggest that you try to open things up to create a better flow. (The suggestion to push things further into the background could reduce the effect I am talking about).

A detail that strikes me is the front wheel; it looks like it is to much in front of the bike, and that it is turning towards our left.

msue
03-23-2000, 10:33 AM
Interesting perspective. I suffer motion sickness and this makes me dizzy.
I agree with all the tire comments and Carly's suggestion to grip the handlebar. A light wash of Prussian Blue on the trees would push them back some.

dzspag
03-24-2000, 10:52 AM
i think the composition is very interesting and would like to see another attempt. i would agree with what everyone else said...and add a suggestion..check your reference closely..when an object is the central focus of the artwork...the object has to be drawn correctly or it doesn't feel right when you look at it..take some photo of a hand holdin a bike at that angle..check where the tire really falls...and the gears become part of the handlebars. then if you have trouble drawing those correctly..here is a tip; get yourself a piece of acetate..could even be from a cheapie clear report cover from the office supply store..and a sharpie extra fine point marker. trace your correct photo reference..go to kinkos and blow it up then transfer that lightly onto your watercolor surface...you'll be giving yourself a chance. there are so many things to consider in a watercolor...handling of the wet media...color...temperature..composition..at least you'll have a head start on the drawing.