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CarlyHardy
03-21-2000, 07:13 PM
okay, since I don't do figures all that often and this project has been a stretch for me with values, would appreciate some feedback before finishing it! Thanks, carly
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/cafeguerbois.jpg

CarlyHardy
03-21-2000, 07:22 PM
here's the b/w so you can see the values better...
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/cafe.jpg

william
03-21-2000, 07:36 PM
Wow... just can imagine if you do figures more often...

[This message has been edited by william (edited March 21, 2000).]

Phyllis Rennie
03-21-2000, 08:11 PM
Carly, The architectural lines at the ceiling and the square column in the center really grab attention. Maybe you could darken the ceiling so the straight lines are not so obvious??? I think you have a great start on your figures. Chairs, tables, people are well placed in the composition. Phyl.

figgby
03-21-2000, 11:58 PM
I agree with phyllis to the extent I would paint the column out as well as the architectural pieces holding the panes of glass on the right. Also watch where the heads of the figures come up to a line and stop. It is always good to cross on over.I like the pic a lot but the eye is very drawn by the architecture.

arlene
03-22-2000, 01:06 AM
on the back all between the columns, the perspective is off. Is that intentional?
I don't mind the architecture.

henrik
03-22-2000, 03:36 AM
Hi, like this one.
I think there needs to be a stronger focus point - right now I can not find a focus point that is stronger than the others. Maybe that is why the architecture sort of takes over.

I think the women in white facing us could serve as a good focus point - by putting more light and detail on her I think some of the other problems will diminish.

I also noticed an interesting dualism in this painting; everything is done in pairs (glases up front, charis, torches, couples). Was this intentional? If so, then it would perhaps be possible to expand on that idea and make it into a painting about pairs/couples... (just an idea).

I think you are doing ok on values except for the focus point (whatever you select).

One minor thing... the environment feels a bit sterile (clean, uncluttered). There should perhaps be some smaller objects on the tables (candles, menus, ...) - I also think some plants would liven things up - perhaps some hanging plants on the back wall (could also cover up some of the odd perspecitve in that area). They could also bring the "eye" back down again - now I think this is a place were eye moves over to architecture and gets stuck following the straight lines.

MichaelRH
03-22-2000, 06:42 AM
Hi Carly:
I really like this piece!! A good sense of interrior space...and perspective. You have tackled the "straight line" space and have included curved elements..both go nicely together.

cagathoc
03-22-2000, 07:15 AM
Carly,

This is a great piece! I really like the perspective. For me it takes me right back to those college cafeteria days! http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif Your figures are modern, interesting and lively looking. I really like it!

------------------
Cindy Agathocleous

"What if imagination and art are not, as many of us might think, the frosting on life, but the fountainhead of human experience?" - Rollo May from The Courage to Create

figgby
03-22-2000, 11:08 AM
I looked at this again carly and found if you draw a line across the tops of the heads, on both sides, it will converge on the top of the figure in front of the column. It actually forms a triangle which is one of the strongest forms of composition. maybe find a way to break up this convergence or perhaps emphasize it by painting a garrish hat on the column figure and thereby drawing the eye to her and creating a strong focal point.Your vanishing points are a little different but I kind of like it. Cezanne did it a lot in his latter work.Cool pic, kind of reminds me of leon kroll somehow. Don't really know why but it does. I also like the post by henrik. Very interesting thought process.

figgby
03-22-2000, 11:13 AM
Had one of those ahas. If you just put out the light over the figure in front of the column it will make quite a difference. hold your thumb up where it covers the light and see what you think.

henrik
03-22-2000, 03:44 PM
figgby, yes taking the light out works - it lowers the focus; the light catches the eye and makes it go up into the architecture....