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Urbanpoet
03-07-2000, 11:44 PM
Hi All

This one is done using Oil color on a primed paper.
Did this one for my friend who is running a Dance school

The dancer background is a Falls.
I tried to be dynamic and colorful.

What you think?

Thanks for your time and comments

-Urbanpoet

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/dancer.jpg

janet
03-08-2000, 12:20 AM
Love how the dancer is posing. I notice
white lines around her legs. Are the white lines supposed to be part of the waterfall?
I think the background could use some
rocks not too many but just to show how the
waterfall is flowing. like the colors of her
dress.




[This message has been edited by janet (edited March 08, 2000).]

henrik
03-08-2000, 09:50 AM
Hi Urbanpoet - this one looks like it has great potential!
I am comparing this a bit with your previous post "Beauty by the Sea"...
Here you have managed to capture the human form much better I think.
Here is a list of observations:
<UL>
The color of skin is different on the arms and the face.
The dancer's right arm is bent unnaturally (a different angle where naked arm begins/sleve ends)
The fot of the right leg looks like it is turned away (towards the waterfall) too much.
There are white lines around the body
The yellow/green painted around the permiter of the body follows the body form and does not look like it is part of the waterfall - rather a sort of glow radiating from the body (is this the effect you wanted?)
The rock is very flat (like in Beauty by the Sea) - try to create more depth by using highligts/shadows - maybee add a rock closer to the viewer.
You are using darker lines to define the masses of arms; head etc. Try to shape them with shadows, midtone, and highligths instead.
[/list]
As I said - I think this one has great potential!

Urbanpoet
03-08-2000, 09:36 PM
Hi Henrik

Thanks for your comments. You are wonderful.
Right on spot with your comments.

After reading the comments I got the idea where I went wrong and what needs to be done to improve the picture.

Janet. Thanks for your comments.

Thanks to Scott also for running this wonderful place, in where I am learning everyday.

-Urbanpoet

cagathoc
03-09-2000, 07:39 AM
Good comments from Henrik.

The only thought I'd add is that Indian folk art has a flat look to it. This looks like an Indian dancer to me, yes? If you kept the painting flat (including the dark lines to show mass), it would be keeping within the motif of your subject - depends on the look you are after...

Here's an example of the kind of Indian folk art I'm refering to so that you can see what I mean:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/indian.jpg

I see a lot of growth between your last pic and this one. I really like your color scheme here. Keep up the good work! http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
Cindy Agathocleous

"What if imagination and art are not, as many of us might think, the frosting on life, but the fountainhead of human experience?" - Rollo May from The Courage to Create

[This message has been edited by cagathoc (edited March 09, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by cagathoc (edited March 09, 2000).]

Patti
03-09-2000, 09:56 AM
Hi! I understand what Cindy is saying and was thinking along those lines myself but when I reread your post I decided that you were looking to make it more alive and dynamic than symbolic. In this case I would say follow Henrik's advice and here is a little of my own.
I really like the pose and think you have done a great job capturing the fluidity of the dance. You are really doing well here.
I also like the brushstrokes in the waterfall. There is a sparkling, falling water feel to the way you have handled it.
I would however work that yellow into the background or get rid of it. It makes a very distracting glow. Also you need to conciously avoid outlining the figure. This is hard at first but you will be much happier
with the results once you start rendering the form instead of the outline of the form.
You are doing a great job!
Pat

henrik
03-09-2000, 01:52 PM
Hi everyone - I asked Urbanpoet before (in Beauty by the sea) if the intent was to create stylistic art like Gouguin (or Indian folk art), Urbanpoet then said that he (?or are you a she urban?) wanted a realsitic look. I would not have made some of those comments otherwise.

cagathoc
03-09-2000, 03:13 PM
It looks so cool the style it's already in though!

What's so great about something looking "real" anyway? Don't we have cameras for that? http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/wink.gif

------------------
Cindy Agathocleous

"What if imagination and art are not, as many of us might think, the frosting on life, but the fountainhead of human experience?" - Rollo May from The Courage to Create

Urbanpoet
03-09-2000, 11:27 PM
Hi All

Henrik :
I am a HE
Like I said before, your comments are great. I will make the necessary changes
I like (or love) Gauguin but I am not trying to emulate him. Searching for my own style.

Cindy: I tried to be dynamic, realistic and not to be flat. I understand what you mean.

Patti. Thanks for your encouraging comments. I have to get ride of that yellow and the outline (Henrik mentioned it)

Everyone said I am growing and I have to say it is all because of the positive feedback & comments I am receiving from people like you

Thanks again

-Urbanpoet

akmal
03-19-2000, 02:09 AM
hello urban

it is a great show and what i like is the
freshening effect and glow of colors.
i myself am a great admirer of dancing and
wanted to say that the pic lacks some motion, it is somewhat like a pose.
was it intended and, and if it was, try body in motion 'cause it feels great.

dzspag
03-19-2000, 10:46 AM
Hi urbanpoet. I think the compostition is wonderful..it fills the space really well..not too much or too little negative space. The one correction I would make however is to isoloate the figure a little more. The figure is basically in warm tones, except for the blue on the gown. I would then tend to cool the background. maybe in the blue/purple...or even green rangee. I think the background warmth is detracting a little from the warmth of the skin and gown. Nice painting, urban...show us more.