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llis
02-24-2000, 09:48 PM
I am doing some illustrations for a local writers guild. The story is about a couple who are traveling through the countryside and looking out the window of the car. What they see is a land that has been burned and the smoke still fills the air. Even though there has also been an ice storm, there is still some fire on the ground. The story is quite bleak. My question is...Is my illustration bleak enough?
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/1burnedland.jpg

oleCC
02-24-2000, 11:08 PM
the painting is really good....would like to see more evidence of fire though,,, like maybe dark (even black) ashs where the fire has been leaving a trail..etc. Maybe some
smokey clouds wifting near the flames here and there? good job Phyl

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Electra
02-24-2000, 11:13 PM
It doesn't say bleak to me. IMHO, you should make the ambient air more grey.. thicker, so you couldn't see much beyond the first tree ... and the ground and trees should be very dark. When brush burns, it leaves a nasty, black, sooty, ashy mixture on the ground.. so yellow ont he ground doesn't mesh with that idea. Also .. the violets in the background make it too cheerful, to me..

Also, when trees burn, the very thin branches like you have burn completely off.. either shorten them and make them thicker and darker, or remove the thin ones..

The fire doesn't quite read as fire to me, although if its an illustration they will already know what it is..

And.. fire doesn't just burn in lines like you have.. spots here and there on fire instead of straight lines. Try making some of the lower parts of the trees burning from the brush on the ground.

Also, the tips of the flames look like they're too even, and there should always be yellow at the tops of the flame. YOu might want to add a little bit of flame above the burning part, like a chunk that came off the flame and is still burning..did that make sense?

Try adding some brown brush too, to indicate that it hsa been singed and smoke-damaged but not yet burned.

As for the ice storm... I don't see how an ice storm can have happened and fire still be burning in this picture. For that to be true, there would have to have been a lot more fuel to overcome the wet and cold. In a dense forest, perhaps. You can indicate that by having more tree trunks, burned down to stumps and 3-4' high trunks... with very dark black singed tops.

I hope this helps. This is truly an interesting and difficult subject to have to illustrate. Challenging. ;-)

Good luck, looking forward to seeing your next version!




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Electra
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Life is less about who you are, and more about who you choose to be.

bruin70
02-25-2000, 03:19 AM
greys should dominate your painting. colors should be minimal. llis,,,, get scratchy and dirty. you may have to change your painting approach on this. you're not painting something nice or pretty. place yourself in the middle of a burnt out building, ash all around you, and you have to paint with oil and the dirt that you're knee deep in. it's desolate, the day seems 50 hours long. you haven't bathed in five weeks. think of egon schiele.

henrik
02-25-2000, 07:43 AM
Hm - without the explanation I would have thought the orange/yellow were autumn leaves.

llis
02-25-2000, 08:35 AM
Bruin: I think you are right...Maybe I need to rethink this one.

This painting was an afterthought. This is the painting that I told y'all about that I had done in about 20 minutes and then taken plastic wrap and put over the top to smooth the paint a little in places. After I took the wrap off....this is what appeared. I have a deadline of next Wednesday to submit some illustrations for several stories for the local writers guild. What I thought was, maybe this might just be o.k. for the fire story. http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/frown.gif I am running out of time. http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/frown.gif
yippes...

Henrik: Maybe I can ask the writers group if they have a fall story. http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

Electra: Too happy...lol....it is my personality showing through again...lol

Thanks so much for all the input. I love this group. I will try to put myself into the story and paint..... will post the results.

llis
02-25-2000, 08:42 AM
Hey...better idea....How about I submit this painting to the writers group and let them write a story about what the painting tells them. lol

What they are doing now are exercises in writing. Like one of the stories I need to illustrate is from this .....(using as many "L's" as you can....write a story)

Lovely Lady Linda Lollipop Loves Leaping Larry Long Limbs

Can you see that....any suggestions?

henrik
02-25-2000, 05:42 PM
Yepp - can see that, but it says somewhere on Wetcanvas that erotic art is not welcome at this site http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/biggrin.gif