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CrowsNest
02-21-2000, 04:25 PM
Just checking to see if I could do this. Hope that I did it correctly. This is my first pastel I did about 2 years ago and I hope to upload more recent work in the future (if I can ever get my hands on a digital camera!). Please feel free to critique this portrait. I know the creases in the dress needed work (sometimes they work for me other times they dont.)
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/Art97_11.jpg


Thanks

kayemme
02-23-2000, 04:41 AM
it looks somewhat cubist. how finished is it in your opinion? i think that it needs to be grounded first, the grass (?) is floating. it feels loose and unstable.
i do like the perspective, but i can't really say much about it until you get the ground issue figured out.
i'd crop it digitally a few times and see what you find to be interesting. that's the great thing about digital images of physical work http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif
good luck!


------------------
km (http://www.artistnation.com/members/lofts/kmarion/)

Patti
02-23-2000, 10:20 AM
I don't know that this is a big improvement but it might help a little. I basically softened your shadows and extended the grass, putting some shadow under the form. The perspective is unusual and I think interesting. I think you could put a basket or something for her to be reaching for on the ground a little to our left and put some more values into the dress, maybe define the face a little more...
Pat
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/Art97_11P.jpg

[This message has been edited by Patti (edited February 23, 2000).]

CrowsNest
02-23-2000, 11:05 AM
Thanks for the response. The softening of the shadows proved to be a powerful improvement! Especially under the arm. Also the background is working better where the subject seems to be not floating on the grass. Many thanks again!

Bryan

henrik
02-23-2000, 06:11 PM
I think that anything that explains why she is in this pose will be an improvement. I am also having problems with what the pose really is... where is her right foot? Is she bending over, or walking? Anything that better communicates the underlying structure will also be an improvement I think.

Adelphia
02-23-2000, 06:33 PM
I could be wrong but the little girls right foot is hidden under her dress that is draping on the ground in front of her as she is bending over to so gently touch the delicate little flower she has discovered in front of her. But I could be wrong.
Let us know okay Bryan? I like what Patti did with your painting...Do you?
Adelphia

Patti
02-23-2000, 06:48 PM
Thanks Adelphia, it actually looks pretty messed up now that I see it on my monitor at home. The other one I use is not too good, but at least Bryan can see that the shadows look better softened. Unless you were trying to move in an abstract direction, were you Bryan?

CrowsNest
02-23-2000, 10:27 PM
Yes Aldephia was right. The right foot is hidden from her dress as she bends over to pick the flower. Patti was tremendous help with the shadows as I replied earlier. I was not going for abstraction, just a dreamy soft look. I think a flower basket would have helped. Thanks again, you guys are so helpful....
Bryan

CarlyHardy
02-24-2000, 06:26 PM
Or try a larger flower that stands out from all the rest..this reminds me of my own daughter picking weeds and wildflowers...I always had one 'growing' in a little glass on the window sill that she had picked.
Such a sweet memory!
thank you
carlyne

CrowsNest
02-24-2000, 09:24 PM
Its my daughter, she is 14 now.....glad that it brought a good memory to someone too.. http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif
Bryan