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irene clark
02-17-2000, 11:56 AM
Hi ya'll.
This is my first attempt at a building. I love the feeling of being beamed back in time, wondering what life went on at those ramshackle farms in days of yore. There seems to be more and more of them popping up, or should I say falling down, where ever I travel. I tried to depict the feeling of restful solitude as the barn is surrounded by falling autumn colors and mounds of toppled over grasses that act as a cozy blanket surrounding the structure as well as the pieces that have already cascaded all around the area. It's just a matter of time before this old barn collapses and slowly sinks under the mounds of leaves and grasses. One more storm ?
Comments anyone? Sorry about the darkness, guess the scanner is on its way out, like the barn.
Thanks so much,
Irene Clark with a heart for art.
<a href="http://www.finearts.yorku.ca/kclark/hart/">Heart to H-ART - Irene Clark</a>
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/burnbarn.jpg



[This message has been edited by irene clark (edited February 20, 2000).]

Electra
02-17-2000, 02:58 PM
Irene,

The roof panels look out of perspective. The diagonal lines which indicate the vertical edges of each panel should be parallel with the edges of the roof. It looks like, as you get farther away on the roof, the lines become more vertical and less diagonal. What this does is makes the roofline appear to be getting steeper, when in fact it is probably not (haven't seen this barn, and since it's so old, it may in fact be doing wierd things!)

I agree with B on the weeds. Even if they are there in real life, take artistic license and leave them out. They're distracting and seem almost to be a pattern on the barn walls.

Not sure how much darker than the original this is, but the trees need some shape - lighten up the areas where sun hits them to give them some roundness instead of being flat.

Where is the lightsource in this painting? It's hard to tell.

I like the composition, a lot. http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/wink.gif



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Life is less about who you are, and more about who you choose to be.

Electra
02-17-2000, 03:00 PM
Ok one more. A nice touch to make the barn look more broken down would be to add some streams of light on the inside of the barn that are coming through holes and cracks in the roof. You can use these to illuminate or highlight objects inside the barn, such as a broken wagon wheel or old pump (maybe even an old saddle), and it will give the barn even more of a three-dimensional feel as well as give more character to the barn -- a history, if you will.



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Life is less about who you are, and more about who you choose to be.

henrik
02-17-2000, 03:49 PM
Hi Irene, love the grass up front and the way we are invited into the picture via the broken fence.
Agree that the yellow leaves are distracting. Electras ideas are great; there needs to be a pronounced are of interest on the barn; some lightning inside as Electra suggests would do it.

CarlyHardy
02-17-2000, 05:33 PM
Irene, the foreground weeds for bushes do cover the barn which should be the focus. It's difficult to know what light source you were using..it looks backlit to me...which is very difficult to paint (at least for me)
since everything tends to be shadowed on the front side. I like the way you've left out boards and you can see thru the barn...that is a good idea to work on with light shining thru the open spaces falling on the areas on this side of the barn. The trees are too dark without roundness, appearing pasted on. A light source would give them form. Also on the roof some tin would overlap so that you wouldn't have a shadow around each piece.
A good start...interesting subject..think about painting just a doorway or window as a companion piece.
chclements

Phyllis Rennie
02-17-2000, 08:28 PM
In addition to the suggestions you've already gotten, I think it would help to lighten the sky near the horizon (behind the barn). It would give it distance and atmosphere. Phyl

bruin70
02-18-2000, 12:38 AM
very difficult to see the barn, irene. place the weeds off to the side so we can see the barn....milt

irene clark
02-19-2000, 05:46 PM
Thankyou all very much,
I appreciate the time and care taken to explain your critiques.
You've all been most helpful.
sincerely
Irene Clark with a heart for art.

Bruce Rohrlach
02-21-2000, 07:31 AM
I think your rendering (texture-colour) of the wooden structure, wooden beams - rusted roof - haphazard beams is really good Irene!
However I agree, a little more space around the building to open it up a little so we can truly appreciate the character of this building. Irene - re-Phyllis's comment on lightening the sky in the distance, see my former post titled "Gulf Country" which shows this effect.

Phyllis Rennie
02-22-2000, 08:58 PM
That's the idea, Bruce--with one more suggestion--spend some time looking at the sky. If you really look, you'll notice that it not only changes color from top to bottom but also is not exactly the same blue on the left that it is on the right.