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kemshmi
01-28-2000, 05:41 AM
ok..heres another one for style..I did this piece about 4 years ago..oil on canvas (actually had a fresh canvas here Ahhh)..it is 24"x36" I used no reference for this..I started with a pencil on the canvas, very quick sketch and then went right into the painting..It is done entirely with palette knife, though some detail is lost in the avi type image. I like this one a lot, but always thought to put an owl in black & white on the lower left..is that needed??..I tried putting an earing there (wingring?) but is not weighty enough for what I had in mind..

thanks everyone,
kemshmi
(very slow loading, 4 images) http://community.myway.com/servlet/pd_ProcServ/DBPAGE=cge&GID=01026010460949049743328583

bruin70
01-28-2000, 08:00 AM
i hope i uploaded properly...K...
here's what i did. excuse the redo. it's paint shop pro and a mouse.
1...i defined your nose better. by pulling out the far cheek, and shading a the nose darker. i gave the nose some pop with i little hilite. i also lightened the upper lip area. this brought out the nose AND mouth.
2...i darkened the whites of the eyes. everyone uses too much white. the whites just seem light because it is surrounded by dark. in any case, the eyes set back better when they're a little darker, so they don't look like dolls eyes.
3...i darkened the lips. they got lost with different values you applied to them. simplification is best when dealing with small areas. otherwise they're broken down with too many planes.
4...the shadow in the neck was too complicated. i simplified.
4...i darkened the hair. there were too many value changes. don't put so much emphasis on hair hilites, that just makes the hair look stringy.
the thayer site would be good for this painting...

and,,,,what the heck are you doing posting at 5 am!!!!

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/athena.jpg

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"he who thinks he know all and knows nothing is king in a kingdom of one,,,,,or a critic" - the kobe



[This message has been edited by bruin70 (edited January 28, 2000).]

bruin70
01-28-2000, 08:18 AM
K...post your head so that everyone can see the diff....
now,,,why i darkened the nose. i gave a short discourse on value and form at another post long ago and i will only say what applies to this particular head painting....briefly,
small, round forms are darker than big flatter forms because they reflect back LESS light. big flatter forms have more surface and, being flat, reflect back lots of light. small, rounder forms have less area to reflect back the light AND, being round, the light is dispersed in different directions,,,not straight back as a flat form would.
so,,,in the case of the nose, you have a small round form resting on the face, which is flatter and less curved. ALSO,,,the blood vessels are closer to the nose surface and therefore the nose will be redder. ALSO the nose catches more sun and will be darker with tan.
this is all not THAT relevent to your style TODAY,,,,but the four year old painting was more of a realistic attempt

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[This message has been edited by bruin70 (edited January 28, 2000).]

bruin70
01-28-2000, 08:51 AM
i just noticed your rim lighting on the head and cheek. personally, i'm not a big fan of backlit rim lighting. they serve no purpose unless you need to show a strong source of light. i don't feel you needed it. in any case,,,,,if you do use rim light, make it strong. rim light is aberrant and apart from the main light source and "SLAPS" the form,,,HITS it. your treatment is more of a form light because it caresses the head... try this instead... http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/athena2.jpg

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"he who thinks he know all and knows nothing is king in a kingdom of one,,,,,or a critic" - the kobe


[This message has been edited by bruin70 (edited January 28, 2000).]

bruin70
01-28-2000, 09:00 AM
i keep finding things i overlooked. the drawing of the hair on the right side follows the contour of her head too closely. you might try making it fuller or something to create variety.....milt

kemshmi
01-28-2000, 04:25 PM
good morning bruin http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

the backlighting does not exist in the painting..the whole thing in general came up washed out and more pink than it is..ok..about the eyes having too much white..and agree about the neck being too complicated..the cheek has a highlight on the right, more like your edit..the forehead is not whited out in the painting..in the painting the swath of light on the lower lip has a dark area below it too..still thinking about the pink in the nose..

I am looking at digital cameras, so I can get truer pictures..

thanks muchly
kemshmi

bruin70
01-28-2000, 06:05 PM
i don't know about perfect digipix. i never got any. i have to edit in an image editor anyway. agfa has a manual white balance that bases its reproduction of color on how white appears under a given lighting condition. but i've never seen results

henrik
01-29-2000, 10:34 AM
Hi kemshmi,
I thought the hair on her left (our right) looked wrong in terms of perspective; a bit like she turned her head, but the hair stayed...

Here I tried to show how I think it could look.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/athena-hl.jpg



[This message has been edited by henrik (edited January 29, 2000).]

kemshmi
01-29-2000, 03:02 PM
henric..we know you did that on purpose!!..trying to knock bruin70s version off the server!! *kick*
*grin*

henric..I see what you are saying..she is at approx 3/4 view and the hair isn't.. thanks, you did a nice edit..

the pink noses still make me think the subject drinks too much (maybe sipping too much paint thinner)*s*..

kemshmi

henrik
01-29-2000, 03:27 PM
Agree about the nose (it is from Milt's edit though http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/wink.gif )
I thought it looked a bit like it had been punshed http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

henrik
01-29-2000, 07:50 PM
I still had the original 'athena2.jpg' that I downloaded. Now it is back again.
Phew...

bruin70
01-29-2000, 08:32 PM
well, sports fans. i sense a mutiny. henrik to the left of me,,,kemshmi to the right. anywho kids,,,the theory stands the test of time. besides,,didn't the greek gods/godesses imbibe in that "fruity" nectar? they were all lushes.

kemshmi
01-29-2000, 10:30 PM
bruin..ambrosia and Mt Olympus would be another topic..
{I said I was thinking about it..sheesh}(note to self: next time don't think out loud!!!)
I have been looking and I do see this is done in many paintings..

http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gifkemshmi

[This message has been edited by kemshmi (edited January 29, 2000).]

henrik
01-30-2000, 12:26 AM
SORRY!
I downloaded my version on top of Milt's. I renamed it anthena2.jpg and this was the name of Milt's version too.

I have changed my posting and uploaded my version under another name (athena-hl.jpg). Milt, could you upload athena2.jpg again?

Again, I am truly sorry, it was not my intent to overwrite.

bruin70
02-01-2000, 08:23 AM
K,,,,do as you please but don't worry about it. you use a flatter graphic style that may not accept a traditional interpretation