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irene clark
01-13-2000, 05:56 PM
Hi Ya'll!
The background on this seems to have come out very dark. In reality the barn boards are quite defined.
This painting is done in chalk pastels, approx 16x20.
I had a great need to do this one, because a very good friend of our family had died suddenly and never got to see the first born foal, pictured here with his wife. The 2 of them had just started an Egyptian Arab horse farm. I did this painting for his wife Frankie and also for me and found it to be very therepeutic. Life goes on.
This is my one and only attempt at horses and still brings tears to my eyes.
Comments most welcome
Thanks
Irene Clark with a heart for art.
<a href="http://www.finearts.yorku.ca/kclark/hart/">Heart to H-ART - Irene Clark</a>
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/pFirstkiss.gif



[This message has been edited by irene clark (edited January 13, 2000).]

henrik
01-13-2000, 06:07 PM
Could you tell a little bit about the painting? Is there something you are unhappy with?

Cool concept http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/cool.gif

As I posted this - you just edited your posting.

[This message has been edited by henrik (edited January 13, 2000).]

irene clark
01-13-2000, 06:19 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by henrik:
[b]Could you tell a little bit about the painting? Is there something you are unhappy with?
Hi Henrik
I found it very difficult getting the expression and skin tone of my friend Frankie. I know she was very pale at the time,but I just think she looks too stiff or something. I feel I've got the stretch of the foals neck just right as she timidly stretches forth for that first kiss on the nose at only a few hours old.
I just can't seem to be very objective about this painting because of the emotions it stirs up.
Thanks for your interest.
Irene



[This message has been edited by irene clark (edited January 13, 2000).]

henrik
01-13-2000, 06:39 PM
Hi, I took the liberty of changing your composition. The horse looking out of the frame directs the eye away from the picture. This big horse is also a focus point. My (crude :-) change I think creates a better flow towards the focus point; the foal kissing your friend.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/pFirstkiss-2.gif

I would also try to emphasize the focus area more by putting more detail on the foals head perhaps.

Your friend do look pale - it is hard to judge the skin tones from the digitized image though.

irene clark
01-13-2000, 06:55 PM
Thanks for your input Henrik. I see what you're getting at by changing the focus of the mare. She was nuzzeling just like that in the photo and it just never occurred to me to change anything. That was probably because this was my first horse and I didn't have the know how at the time to change what was in the photograph. I'm sorry about the poor quality ,the details just don't come through here. Thanks for help.
sincerely Irene

[This message has been edited by irene clark (edited January 13, 2000).]

kemshmi
01-13-2000, 07:11 PM
Hi Irene..the dark copy makes it a bit hard to see, but I think you might try pulling your friends hair back a bit, and showing part of her neck,on her right side, down into the coller (sp) lapel..opening the coat top button or two ..also check to see that her sholders are in line..her right sholder apperars from the photo to be pushed forward in an unrealistic way..(it could be that you already have more of a rounding back but that it is not visible because of the value changes with the background)..you might try drawing/sketching your friend again in the same pose, on a different piece of paper and see what you come up with..I would not touch the shape of your horses at all..they have a nice look and feel..the only possible thing I see there is that a bit of value contrat between the muzzle of the mom and the back of the foal might be needed..

also, because it is a sentimental piece, you might not want to touch it at all http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

I hope this is of help to you,
kemshmi

irene clark
01-13-2000, 07:32 PM
Hi there Kemshmi!Thankyou kindly for your help. I won't change this painting, but I'd like to do another like it. I like the idea of opening her collar and showing more neck. I guess it's the jacket being buttoned right up that is giving her such a stiff look. Her body is facing us and it's her head that is turned toward the foal. You've given me the idea of turning her body towards the foal and leaving her head pretty much positioned as is. I see now that she's in an unnatural poise for the photo. Thanks for pointing that out.
sincerely
Irene



[This message has been edited by irene clark (edited January 13, 2000).]