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goby
07-23-2010, 03:22 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-23-2010/131293_IMG_2620-1.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Fishing on the Puntledge
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16x20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Last fall I saw these two guys fishing. Loved the scene and tried to capture the light and colours.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Any suggestions on improving this piece?<br><br>Thankyou for looking!<br><br>Goby

Corby
07-23-2010, 06:34 PM
It stirs the memory! I can just feel that quick tug on my line! Visually I would soften the bottom edges of the foliage along the river bank where it comes down to the water. Soft lines will allow it to relax naturally into the shadows. The hard edges make it visually obtrusive, it 'pushes' at us past the figures of the fisher folk... the light and water color and so on are just great!

beartist
07-23-2010, 07:33 PM
Beautiful piece!
I see Corby commented already on your edges. I think having the bushes sort of blended with its reflection would make it look more natural/ painterly as opposed to looking like all the edges were sharpened as if you copied from a photo.
The water is great!
The foliage, on the left side, is a tad too detailed for something that should be in the distance. Since every part is so detailed its hard to find a center of interest...Once again, I think softening the edges as Corby suggested would help.
With a few small changes this looks like it could be a winner!

billmahler
07-23-2010, 08:30 PM
Wonderful painting indeed.
Good suggestions above, but there's plenty to like here.

goby
07-23-2010, 10:04 PM
Corby-Thankyou for your comments! Thankyou so much for pointing out what I always seem to miss..... hard edges!

Beartist- Thankyou for your comments and suggestions!

Bill- Thankyou for your nice comments!

I did a little work on the foliage where it meets the river bank, softening the edges and blending the water with the shadows, trying to make the lines disappear into the water. I am going to leave it until tomorrow to see if I think it needs more work. I shall post an update.

Thanks for all your help!

Goby

Barbie Bud
07-23-2010, 10:41 PM
Very nice painting, wonderful job on the water.

Bis007
07-24-2010, 08:45 AM
It's a lovely scene and a beautiful painting especially the water and lilacs-they must enjoy the fragrance too.:music::music: As a fishing enthusiast, I can relate to. My observation is only with the fishermen-looks like they are fishing in shallow waters from land.(the end of their line barely touches the turquoise water which I think can use some dark for water depth.) However, not sure if they are fly fishing cos of the white ripples-the closer guy seems he is standing on beach area? with shadows and ripples.(one can see his boots but the little guy is submerged). If they're fly fishing, maybe bring the dark turquoise water up to closer guy knee/ankle. Also the white ripples and their shadows in the water does not flow in sync with the rest of the water. (I could be wrong.)
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/24-Jul-2010/119201-fishing-1.jpg
Ripples,standing on land or water? Regular fishing or fly fishing?

Love this beautiful scene/landscape, it is a nice place to be,:thumbsup: however these guys-confuses me imho. Minor fixable tho. Waiting update. Any Ref?

Harry Seymour
07-24-2010, 08:55 AM
Makes me want to get back to fishing. It's a wonderful painting.

shoshona
07-24-2010, 12:50 PM
Lovely painting. COOOL and peaceful.
I wonder if the left hand green trees are to much the same tone as the right hand ones. If a little lighter /or the right a tone darker would push picture back.:)
Cheers

www.rock-your-soul.co.uk

goby
07-25-2010, 01:17 AM
Barb- Thankyou for your nice comments!

Bis- I did a little work on the fishermen.

Harry- Thankyou, I am so happy I was able to capture the quiet mood of a day fishing.

Shoshona- Thankyou for stopping in and commenting!

I did do some work on this painting, did I improve it or do I need to do more? I haven't signed it yet...

I posted the before and after painting.

Goby